We went to the Early Childhood Health Centre (ECHC) yesterday (when I started this post the visit was yesterday, now I'd have to say 'Thursday' instead) for Kiran's 8 week check. It was all good and apart from the Whooping Cough he is fine and growing like a weed. In fact it appears that he put on around 500g since last Tuesday's paediatrician visit. That is a lot of breastmilk! When I told Sanjay he suddenly realised why I've been so hungry recently and why I've been a bit tired (I feel like a Cheshire-mother, I might vanish at any moment, leaving just my milky breasts).
As well as getting longer and chubbier he's developing in other ways. He seems to recognise my face from several metres away now, he will lie on the floor and look at his toys or lie on the bed and gaze out the window for ten minutes at a time or more. I don't remember Asher being able to amuse himself for that long with any regularity until he was much older. He's very communicative and loves to gaze into my eyes, smile and then we have 'conversations' where I ask him questions and he vocalises with little 'ahs' back to me.
Kiran is also getting into a really good nighttime routine (will writing about it jinx it?). He goes to bed between 8 and 9:30 then wakes for a feed between11:30 and 1:30. He generally wakes again around 6 or 6:30am and Asher usually wakes and comes in before 7am so we are effectively awake for the day, even if Kiran sometimes goes back to sleep.
The little guy also had his first bottle last night. I went out for dinner with the Mummies and left both boys at home with Sanj. I expressed some milk the other day (almost 100ml) when I was feeling a bit full and so I got another 100ml yesterday which I hoped would be enough. It turns out he was a little reluctant to drink from the bottle at first but once he got the idea had the 100ml and a bit more from me when I got home before he went back to sleep. Dinner out with the mummies was great for me - just the tonic I needed after feeling a bit caged and tense for the last week or two. We were talking about how everyday things slip by so fast, particularly with second children, and how we should all be keeping a diary everyday and I thought about how irregularly I blog and made a pact to write something every day for a week. That seems a bit poor in the light of day, like I should be doing more, but I really want to do it and I hate over-committing. So, stay tuned for a post, however brief, every day for a week!
28/08/2009
25/08/2009
Art Gallery Trip
Asher showing us his art
Originally uploaded by karmakeda
The Tot program was good - best for relatively calm and attentive kids though, so even though they say 3-5 year olds it seemed a bit tough for some of the younger and less compliant ones. We looked at four artworks and I thought the analysis was good and still totally appropriate for the preschooler set. I also wanted to bring the John Olsen work we looked at home with me, There were two activities that related well to the artworks but perhaps lacked a little. We used stencils to layer sea creatures onto our surfboard shapes (the surfboard will become a picture frame) and used crayons and stickers to decorate sunglasses.
I want to get this posted and the bath run for when the kids descend, so I'll post this now, without re-reading.
20/08/2009
My lovely lads
I don't want to be always comparing my two boys but it's hard not to. I'm not just comparing them though, I'm comparing my feelings then and now too. When Asher was less than 12 weeks old I would dread any day that I knew Sanjay would be late home from work. This time around it's so different. Sanj told me this morning that he was going to be late, but that his parents would pick Asher up from Kindy and give him a bath and dinner. I felt a flood of relief - I didn't have much to achieve today so this evening is going to be blessedly calm. With both Sanjay and Asher getting home at around 7pm, and the baby pinning me to the couch to cluster feed from 4:30 to 7:30 most nights all I can do is sit here and enjoy the quiet house and wish I had remembered to get myself a big drink of water before I sat down. When Asher was tiny I would have had to bounce and walk him around for those afternoon hours, and even with rocking and bouncing and feeding and singing he would still have howled for quite a lot of that time.
The baby, despite being snuffly with what I think is cold rather than just more of the pertussis cough, is lying in my lap gazing at me, grinning and vocalising when I look down at him and talk to him. I think that he's developing a pattern of having a good sleep in the morning and a good long sleep in his hammock in the afternoon and a snooze in the Ergo in the middle of the day. He also seems to just wake up up twice a night most nights, and so far he hasn't been to difficult to get back to sleep. If I followed the time honoured wisdom of 'sleeping when the baby sleeps' I'd actually get enough sleep! Instead I walk around with him in the Ergo or try to eat and get some washing done and the kitchen tidied. Maybe next week I'll get a rest during the day.
And before I get even more distracted, the real reason I wanted to post was to note a few of the cute things Asher says and does before he changes and they slip away for ever. After three years of no TV he's now crazy for it. It is a fondness that I think will wane fairly quickly as long as we set reasonable limits and don't get too strung up about it. He doesn't watch actual TV though, just his 'movies' which are a Bindy Irwin DVD and a few Wiggles and Thomas DVDs. He puts them on himself and then uses the 'ke-mote' (remote) to adjust the volume or get the appropriate segment of the DVD to play. Drat, the baby is grizzling but I really need to write about how under the thumb Asher's grandfather is sometime and how great those grandparents are, particularly since we've had Kiran.
The baby, despite being snuffly with what I think is cold rather than just more of the pertussis cough, is lying in my lap gazing at me, grinning and vocalising when I look down at him and talk to him. I think that he's developing a pattern of having a good sleep in the morning and a good long sleep in his hammock in the afternoon and a snooze in the Ergo in the middle of the day. He also seems to just wake up up twice a night most nights, and so far he hasn't been to difficult to get back to sleep. If I followed the time honoured wisdom of 'sleeping when the baby sleeps' I'd actually get enough sleep! Instead I walk around with him in the Ergo or try to eat and get some washing done and the kitchen tidied. Maybe next week I'll get a rest during the day.
And before I get even more distracted, the real reason I wanted to post was to note a few of the cute things Asher says and does before he changes and they slip away for ever. After three years of no TV he's now crazy for it. It is a fondness that I think will wane fairly quickly as long as we set reasonable limits and don't get too strung up about it. He doesn't watch actual TV though, just his 'movies' which are a Bindy Irwin DVD and a few Wiggles and Thomas DVDs. He puts them on himself and then uses the 'ke-mote' (remote) to adjust the volume or get the appropriate segment of the DVD to play. Drat, the baby is grizzling but I really need to write about how under the thumb Asher's grandfather is sometime and how great those grandparents are, particularly since we've had Kiran.
17/08/2009
The Emergency Department
This proves I'm a bad blogger - I had a whole week in hospital with The Little Kiran without updating here.
The short version is that I went to the GP because baby K wasn't breathing right and was coughing and seemed unwell. Since he's so little I took him to the doctor who said she thought it was probably bronchiolitis and that we should go to the emergency department because the baby probably needed oxygen and monitoring. We went, spent almost 24 hours there (check the photo - thiswas my chair in the ED. It unfolds to a squeeky, narrow, vinyl covered 'bed') and then we were admitted to the childrens ward.
Kiran was still in respiratory distress and needing a bit of oxygen and then, on Friday the swab results came back and it turned out that he had pertussis (whooping cough). The coughing fits started to get more outrageous as they entered the paroxysmal stage - he had an apnea after a coughing fit on Friday night, and another one on Saturday night. By Sunday he was kind of flat and waxy and I was pretty unhappy about his condition but there was no apnea. Monday night there was another apnea, and this time there was not much of a coughing fit beforehand and I kinda lost my cool about the whole situation. So of course, being a baby, he started to pick up on Tuesday and by Thursday he was a different baby and able to come home without me freaking out.
So I was cooped up in a hospital room with Kiran for over 8 days, leaving once a day for half an hour to head downstairs to get a coffee. My birthday was on the Friday and my family brought Pizzas. Sanjay spent his time looking after Asher, bringing food and clothing for me and trying to fit some work in around the edges. Our families were awsome and helped out wherever they could.
I might fill in some details later, but there was one funny moment: I was sitting in the ED breastfeeding and a nurse came over and was talking to me. After about half a minute she realised I was feeding and apologised profusely and closed the curtains. Um, lady, thanks but you were talking to me for half a minute before you realised, so I'm not being that indiscreet and I'm not fussed. Also, don't close the curtains because the nurses desk is my source of amusement here. It made me chuckle.
I processed my experience by taking photos and there are pics up on Flickr. Happily we are home now and getting healthier by the day. Kiran is a lovely baby, 7 weeks old tomorrow. He smiles and chuckles and gazes at me. He loves being carried in the Ergo and grizzles in the evening just like any other baby. We are so happy to be home, safe and healthy!
The short version is that I went to the GP because baby K wasn't breathing right and was coughing and seemed unwell. Since he's so little I took him to the doctor who said she thought it was probably bronchiolitis and that we should go to the emergency department because the baby probably needed oxygen and monitoring. We went, spent almost 24 hours there (check the photo - thiswas my chair in the ED. It unfolds to a squeeky, narrow, vinyl covered 'bed') and then we were admitted to the childrens ward.
Kiran was still in respiratory distress and needing a bit of oxygen and then, on Friday the swab results came back and it turned out that he had pertussis (whooping cough). The coughing fits started to get more outrageous as they entered the paroxysmal stage - he had an apnea after a coughing fit on Friday night, and another one on Saturday night. By Sunday he was kind of flat and waxy and I was pretty unhappy about his condition but there was no apnea. Monday night there was another apnea, and this time there was not much of a coughing fit beforehand and I kinda lost my cool about the whole situation. So of course, being a baby, he started to pick up on Tuesday and by Thursday he was a different baby and able to come home without me freaking out.
So I was cooped up in a hospital room with Kiran for over 8 days, leaving once a day for half an hour to head downstairs to get a coffee. My birthday was on the Friday and my family brought Pizzas. Sanjay spent his time looking after Asher, bringing food and clothing for me and trying to fit some work in around the edges. Our families were awsome and helped out wherever they could.
I might fill in some details later, but there was one funny moment: I was sitting in the ED breastfeeding and a nurse came over and was talking to me. After about half a minute she realised I was feeding and apologised profusely and closed the curtains. Um, lady, thanks but you were talking to me for half a minute before you realised, so I'm not being that indiscreet and I'm not fussed. Also, don't close the curtains because the nurses desk is my source of amusement here. It made me chuckle.
I processed my experience by taking photos and there are pics up on Flickr. Happily we are home now and getting healthier by the day. Kiran is a lovely baby, 7 weeks old tomorrow. He smiles and chuckles and gazes at me. He loves being carried in the Ergo and grizzles in the evening just like any other baby. We are so happy to be home, safe and healthy!
29/07/2009
One month old!
Baby K turned 4 weeks old yesterday! He's a lovely mellow baby but I've worked out that the routine we have doesn't really allow me to blog very easily. He's growing really well and although I haven't weighed him I can tell because he's starting to grow out of the smallest clothes. The Bonds 0000 Wondersuits are almost too tight now and the Target 00000 growsuit doesn't fit at all anymore. He loves being in the Ergo, he sleeps well in the Amby hammock and goes to sleep in the car. Unlike Asher he reliably sleeps on 'non-living surfaces' and is often content to lie around and look out the window or something for minutes at a time - sometimes 10 or 15 minutes, which leaves me free to attend to Asher. The more I live with this easy baby the more I realise that I was not insane to think that Asher was quite needy when he was a newborn and I was a first time mother. In retrospect he behaved more like a close-to-term premmie with his neediness - feeding lots but slowly and falling asleep during feeds but not being able to stay asleep without contact with an adult.
In terms of the routine of our week, I spend Mondays and Tuesdays with both kids, usually with Megan and Karen and their kids too, and for most of that time we are out and about so no time for blogging. Not that being out and about is the main thing stopping me from writing anything on those days -a newborn and an active 3 year old who doesn't nap are really enough.
Wednesdays I usually try to stay home most of the day. I'm usually sore from carting Kiran about in the Ergo for hours on end (5 hours of carrying 5+ kilos will wear you down!) and the house often looks like a pig-sty so I gaze at the baby, do a few loads of laundry and attempt to get an afternoon nap and make dinner. Not once have I managed all of that (today I made beef stew in the morning and got the washing on but Kiran won't let me nap, so I'm cross-legged on the couch with the baby in my lap, periodically getting up to raid the kitchen for chocolate).
Thursday and Friday are for running errands and hanging out with the baby and maybe catching up with a friend for coffee. I've been managing to keep up with the laundry on those days too and I'm hoping to start being able to prepare dinner and pick Asher up from Kindy sometimes too.
Weekends are family time - a lot of the time this means Sanjay hangs out with Asher and I look after the baby. This works really well but I worry that I'll lose my strong connection with Asher and Sanj won't bond well with Kiran - maybe I'm just neurotic and looking for something to worry about?
The rhythms of the days are pretty similar - we wake up for the day when Kiran wakes between 6:45am and 8am. Sanjay and Asher get up and start breakfast while I catch an extra half an hours sleep or feed the baby. We get ourselves ready to go out, and between 8:30 (today) and 10:30am we manage to get ourselves together and get out. Baths for the kids start around 4:30-5pm with dinner then bed for Asher by around 7:30. He seems to be sleeping better now that I'm a bit more strict with bed time. Sanj and I watch TV or clean up or Sanj works while I read until the baby wakes and then I feed him and head to bed. Sanjay either finishes of his work or gets ready for the next day and comes to bed after me. This means I rarely get to sleep before 11pm and Sanj is sometimes up until midnight, which would be OK except we have between 1 and 3 wake-ups to feed baby K. So, not quite enough sleep, but not too bad, considering the baby sleeps well, and generally goes straight back to sleep after he's been fed and changed.
Asher has been just delightful with the new baby. Sanjay and I have been very careful to keep his life as consistent as possible with his previous routine. I also try to ensure that it's never 'the baby' when I want him to be quiet or when he can't have my attention. For instance I tell him that we need to go inside because I'm cold, rather than telling him that the baby needs feeding and he's responding really well. He needs more help with things like feeding himself and putting his shoes on and he gets really whingy sometimes, but he's never been anything but extremely loving with his little brother. We also tell him how much Kiran likes him and what a good big brother he is and Asher being Asher likes that too. He's getting all his sillys out when he's with his mate Miles - the two of them yell and rumble and behave like lads which is simultaneously irritating and hilarious.
The poor little Kiran seems to have a cold - probably from Asher - his chest sounds rattle-y and he's coughing quite a lot. It doesn't seem to be bothering him too much though - he spent ages gazing into my eyes today, trying to talk to me, copying my facial expressions and smiling. The baby, snuggled into the nest of my crossed legs is starting to complain and need feeding. I can't manage much one handed typing, so that's it from me for now....
In terms of the routine of our week, I spend Mondays and Tuesdays with both kids, usually with Megan and Karen and their kids too, and for most of that time we are out and about so no time for blogging. Not that being out and about is the main thing stopping me from writing anything on those days -a newborn and an active 3 year old who doesn't nap are really enough.
Wednesdays I usually try to stay home most of the day. I'm usually sore from carting Kiran about in the Ergo for hours on end (5 hours of carrying 5+ kilos will wear you down!) and the house often looks like a pig-sty so I gaze at the baby, do a few loads of laundry and attempt to get an afternoon nap and make dinner. Not once have I managed all of that (today I made beef stew in the morning and got the washing on but Kiran won't let me nap, so I'm cross-legged on the couch with the baby in my lap, periodically getting up to raid the kitchen for chocolate).
Thursday and Friday are for running errands and hanging out with the baby and maybe catching up with a friend for coffee. I've been managing to keep up with the laundry on those days too and I'm hoping to start being able to prepare dinner and pick Asher up from Kindy sometimes too.
Weekends are family time - a lot of the time this means Sanjay hangs out with Asher and I look after the baby. This works really well but I worry that I'll lose my strong connection with Asher and Sanj won't bond well with Kiran - maybe I'm just neurotic and looking for something to worry about?
The rhythms of the days are pretty similar - we wake up for the day when Kiran wakes between 6:45am and 8am. Sanjay and Asher get up and start breakfast while I catch an extra half an hours sleep or feed the baby. We get ourselves ready to go out, and between 8:30 (today) and 10:30am we manage to get ourselves together and get out. Baths for the kids start around 4:30-5pm with dinner then bed for Asher by around 7:30. He seems to be sleeping better now that I'm a bit more strict with bed time. Sanj and I watch TV or clean up or Sanj works while I read until the baby wakes and then I feed him and head to bed. Sanjay either finishes of his work or gets ready for the next day and comes to bed after me. This means I rarely get to sleep before 11pm and Sanj is sometimes up until midnight, which would be OK except we have between 1 and 3 wake-ups to feed baby K. So, not quite enough sleep, but not too bad, considering the baby sleeps well, and generally goes straight back to sleep after he's been fed and changed.
Asher has been just delightful with the new baby. Sanjay and I have been very careful to keep his life as consistent as possible with his previous routine. I also try to ensure that it's never 'the baby' when I want him to be quiet or when he can't have my attention. For instance I tell him that we need to go inside because I'm cold, rather than telling him that the baby needs feeding and he's responding really well. He needs more help with things like feeding himself and putting his shoes on and he gets really whingy sometimes, but he's never been anything but extremely loving with his little brother. We also tell him how much Kiran likes him and what a good big brother he is and Asher being Asher likes that too. He's getting all his sillys out when he's with his mate Miles - the two of them yell and rumble and behave like lads which is simultaneously irritating and hilarious.
The poor little Kiran seems to have a cold - probably from Asher - his chest sounds rattle-y and he's coughing quite a lot. It doesn't seem to be bothering him too much though - he spent ages gazing into my eyes today, trying to talk to me, copying my facial expressions and smiling. The baby, snuggled into the nest of my crossed legs is starting to complain and need feeding. I can't manage much one handed typing, so that's it from me for now....
15/07/2009
Baby Kiran: Birth Story Placeholder
Our little baby boy was born at 10:22pm on Tuesday the 30th of July 2009. He weighed a respectable 3.1kg and we have named him Kiran. I'll come back and post the birth story later, but I wanted a placeholder here so I make sure I come back to it!
27/06/2009
Pre-Labour hurts as much as 'real' labour!
When I went into labour with Asher I knew immediately. It was four days before my due date and I woke up at around 1am, my waters broke, and I had good strong contractions straight away. I laboured happily at home through the night and knew when it was time to go to hospital - around 6am. When I got to hospital I was 7-8cm dilated. Around four difficult hours later there was an extra little person in the world. No false starts, no arsing about.
This time is so so different. I keep thinking that 'this is it' that today will be this baby's birthday. On Monday it really seemed likely - At 9am I found myself weeping on the stairs to the garage, too sore to go up or down. I talked to my mum, who knows me, and my pain threshold, and we decided that this was probably labour, and it was probably 'back labour' - when a baby is facing the wrong way (still head down, just with it's head not facing the mother's spine) and one goes into labour it HURTS. It's called 'back labour' and generally you don't get any recovery time between contractions it just REALLY REALLY HURTS.
I paced about at home and waited for my mum to come over while Sanjay dropped Asher over to a friends place, then I decided that walking would be good so I walked over for coffee. Since I had promised my OB at Friday's appointment that I would come in if things started happening as his concern was that it might turn out to be a quick one ("don't hide from us Keda, we aren't going to do anything to you") so, since walking was good, so I decided to walk up in the direction of the hospital (normally 30-40 minutes brisk walk away). I kept walking, slooooowly and painfully til I got there. By this point it was maybe 1 o'clock and there was no delivery rooms available so I pottered around the 'lounge' terrified to sit down because I felt like I'd be stuck for ever if I did. Things had calmed down by this point but when they had a free delivery room (where the monitoring equipment is) and I hopped up on the bed for a CTG. At that moment I really knew it was all over - the 'labour' stopped entirely. The pain was dramatically less, I could think clearly and I knew I wasn't in labour (any more?). When they examined me I was 1-2cm dilated and my cervix was quite thin. Ho hum. My OB came by and we had a chat - he said I was probably looking at 6 hours of synto if they tried to get things going that way so we agreed that sounded like a bad idea for a girl who doesn't want an epidural so instead I would go home and rest. So an hour (or 2?) of monitoring, a toasted cheese sandwich and plenty of discomfort but no agony later I was ready to go home. Since this could go on for ages I took some Panadeine Forte (30mg of codeine - usually enough to put me in happy-land snoozeville) and I went to sleep until friends brought Asher home and we all had dinner together.
This time is so so different. I keep thinking that 'this is it' that today will be this baby's birthday. On Monday it really seemed likely - At 9am I found myself weeping on the stairs to the garage, too sore to go up or down. I talked to my mum, who knows me, and my pain threshold, and we decided that this was probably labour, and it was probably 'back labour' - when a baby is facing the wrong way (still head down, just with it's head not facing the mother's spine) and one goes into labour it HURTS. It's called 'back labour' and generally you don't get any recovery time between contractions it just REALLY REALLY HURTS.
I paced about at home and waited for my mum to come over while Sanjay dropped Asher over to a friends place, then I decided that walking would be good so I walked over for coffee. Since I had promised my OB at Friday's appointment that I would come in if things started happening as his concern was that it might turn out to be a quick one ("don't hide from us Keda, we aren't going to do anything to you") so, since walking was good, so I decided to walk up in the direction of the hospital (normally 30-40 minutes brisk walk away). I kept walking, slooooowly and painfully til I got there. By this point it was maybe 1 o'clock and there was no delivery rooms available so I pottered around the 'lounge' terrified to sit down because I felt like I'd be stuck for ever if I did. Things had calmed down by this point but when they had a free delivery room (where the monitoring equipment is) and I hopped up on the bed for a CTG. At that moment I really knew it was all over - the 'labour' stopped entirely. The pain was dramatically less, I could think clearly and I knew I wasn't in labour (any more?). When they examined me I was 1-2cm dilated and my cervix was quite thin. Ho hum. My OB came by and we had a chat - he said I was probably looking at 6 hours of synto if they tried to get things going that way so we agreed that sounded like a bad idea for a girl who doesn't want an epidural so instead I would go home and rest. So an hour (or 2?) of monitoring, a toasted cheese sandwich and plenty of discomfort but no agony later I was ready to go home. Since this could go on for ages I took some Panadeine Forte (30mg of codeine - usually enough to put me in happy-land snoozeville) and I went to sleep until friends brought Asher home and we all had dinner together.
By Tuesday morning the baby had turned back around to a comparatively comfortable spine-facing position and there wasn't even a hint of labour going on. My OB said we'd talk induction at our 41 week appointment. Since then I've been getting strong braxton-hicks contractions - usually semi-regularly for half a day, then 24 hours or so of nothing. Today the back pain was extreme again and I went to the acupuncturist who put pins in me that might stimulate labour. He wants to take credit if labour starts within twelve hours of the treatment - I'm happy to give anyone credit because at this point I just want labour to start!
It's good that the baby didn't arrive on Asher's birthday though (yesterday). Instead we had a few family and friends around for nibbles and cake in the evening (check out the photos on Flickr - Asher really got into the birthday thing - I'm not sure I've ever seen him so happy!) and I went to sleep thinking that I'd go into labour before morning. Maybe tomorrow will be the day....
13/06/2009
Could there be anything cuter...
...than your three year old, about to go to the supermarket with his daddy, coming up to you, saying 'bye' then telling you he needs to kiss 'the baby' and reaching over to tenderly kiss your 38+ week pregnant belly and saying "Hi, I'm going, see you later" and finishing with another kiss before heading off? My heart melted!
But, then again, my emotions are ALL OVER THE PLACE at the moment. I screamed at Asher for leaving his toys on the floor (despite the floor not being as toy-strewn as usual) and later I got all dewy at him drinking his babycino. Poor kid is totally confused about what reaction anything he is going to elicit from his mother at the moment. Sanjay is in the same boat, exhorting me to rest as I weepily scrub the sink (and the highchair, and polish the buffet, and do more loads of laundry).
I'm hoping I can go into labour soon as this behaviour is driving all of us just nuts. There are some positive signs - I've been getting crampy contractions on-and-off since Tuesday (it's Saturday today) and the OB/GYN says the baby is engaged and really low. So, a rest? Or should I go and dust the doors? I've noticed the bathroom doors particularly are really quite dusty...
But, then again, my emotions are ALL OVER THE PLACE at the moment. I screamed at Asher for leaving his toys on the floor (despite the floor not being as toy-strewn as usual) and later I got all dewy at him drinking his babycino. Poor kid is totally confused about what reaction anything he is going to elicit from his mother at the moment. Sanjay is in the same boat, exhorting me to rest as I weepily scrub the sink (and the highchair, and polish the buffet, and do more loads of laundry).
I'm hoping I can go into labour soon as this behaviour is driving all of us just nuts. There are some positive signs - I've been getting crampy contractions on-and-off since Tuesday (it's Saturday today) and the OB/GYN says the baby is engaged and really low. So, a rest? Or should I go and dust the doors? I've noticed the bathroom doors particularly are really quite dusty...
05/06/2009
Out of the Mouths of Babes?
Last weekend the three of us were out, and about to sit down in a cafe for a much needed coffee when we realised that none of us had any money in our wallets. We were wandering in search of a cash machine when Sanjay said "hang on, there's a TAB" and started to pull a slip of paper out of his pocket and walk off with Asher. At this point I was wondering what on earth was going on but it turns out he had been at the pub the day before (with work!) and there had been some question about which horse had one a race and Sanjay still had the betting slip with him. I stood around and grumpily waited for them to get back, assuming that I'd still have to find an ATM but they came back and Sanjay had a strange expression on his face. He'd got lucky and yesterdays ticket paid enough for us to have coffee and cake but Asher, on seeing Sanjay hand over a slip of paper and receive money in return had asked "Daddy, is this a bank?"
25/05/2009
Bedtime Story
Tomorrow it's one calendar month until this baby is due. I feel huge and ungainly, my maternity clothes barely cover my bump, I'm tired and I need to pee all the time. I also have a cold, which is adding to the crankiness and the whingyness. So, to spare you all the force of my grouching I'm going to tell you the bedtime story that Asher tells me every night. After Sanjay has read books with him I go in to tell Asher one of three stories. I tell him my version of the Three Billy Goats Gruff, The Three Bears or The Hare And The Tortoise. Before I start I ask him which story he wants, he tells me he wants the story of The Tortoise, Just the Tortoise. I tell him I don't know that one and he needs to tell me that story and he begins:
Once upon a time there were three tortoises, Luki, Juki, Ooki. They lived in a field and ate grass and flowers and they all lived happily ever after.
Sometiems there is one tortoise, occasionally five and sometimes there names are different, but always a variation on the theme. Whether there are one, three or five tortoises there are still only three names. Occasionally they live in a house (as well as the field) or they eat grass and flowers for breakfast, or some other slight variation. Despite the limited dramatic tension (or any plot *at all*) I find this story quite soothing - feel free to use it anytime you are trying to put me to sleep!
Once upon a time there were three tortoises, Luki, Juki, Ooki. They lived in a field and ate grass and flowers and they all lived happily ever after.
Sometiems there is one tortoise, occasionally five and sometimes there names are different, but always a variation on the theme. Whether there are one, three or five tortoises there are still only three names. Occasionally they live in a house (as well as the field) or they eat grass and flowers for breakfast, or some other slight variation. Despite the limited dramatic tension (or any plot *at all*) I find this story quite soothing - feel free to use it anytime you are trying to put me to sleep!
17/05/2009
So, no excuses for not blogging this time, just general distractedness, and it's past time for a pregnancy update.
Basically, everything is going swimmingly. The last two ultrasound scans have had the baby measuring around the 30-35 percentile which is great. So great, in fact, that I've decided to skip then next scan, unless there is something specific they want to check for when I go for my fortnightly appointment. I'm still taking 100mg Aspirin every day, I'm trying to remember my multi-vitimins and I've just today purchased some red raspberry leaf tea. Over the last two weeks I've started to get really uncomfortable with the common, grumpy late pregnancy discomforts - varicose veins in my upper thighs and groin that hurt when I've been standing or sitting for too long, a bit of breathlesness all the time, I need to pee every 10 minutes (and it's unsatisfying because there's only a teaspoonfull there!) and my clothes, even maternity clothes, are getting tight and uncomfortable. People say I still look small, but I feel GIANT and like I'm always full (and always slightly peckish, too). However I'm pretty sure the baby's arrival isn't immanant because I'm still only waking up once a night to use the bathroom.
I've only got about six weeks to go before this baby is born, and I'm not really feeling prepared. We don't have a name shortlist that we're really happy with (there are a few girls names we like, but boys are more difficult). I haven't really done any prep for birthing - I'm not as fit or strong as I was when I was pregnant with Asher, because between paid work and mothering and active almost-three-year-old I don't have time for 'luxuries' like Pilates, and there have been no classes and minimal reading. There isn't anything I *really* need for when the baby comes but I still feel really unprepared. I'm making lists like a crazy woman - I want to hire a car capsule and buy a baby bath with a stand but they are easy to come by and I can live without both (we have a reversible car seat that works for a newborn and we have a booster car seat for Asher, but I'm keen on being able to cart the capsule around with the sleeping baby). Basically I'm feeling nesty, but too sore and tired to really do much, except look after Asher (and that's a struggle by itself!).
I'm also feeling a little maudlin because these last few weeks are, in all likelihood, the last times I'll feel a baby wriggling and kicking inside me. Despite all the pain and discomfort of being pregnant there is an undeniably special relationship a mother has with a foetus. It's such a private thing, yet it's on display for everyone and it's such a short time out of a lifetime, but so intense. It's also the closest thing you have to having control over your kids - after they are born they are even more subject to the whims of chance and the universe. I'm feeling ambivalent about our decision to not find out the sex of the baby too - I don't mind if this baby is a boy or a girl, but if I am carrying a boy it is highly unlikely I'll ever have a daughter, which is sad for me. If I have a boy I wonder if I'll want to mourn that loss - it will probably feel disloyal to the little boy, and so I'll stir guilt into the mix as well. I have no doubt that I'll love the little person either way - I guess I already do!
Anyhow, I need to go and lie down for a bit before I attempt to hang the washing out.
Basically, everything is going swimmingly. The last two ultrasound scans have had the baby measuring around the 30-35 percentile which is great. So great, in fact, that I've decided to skip then next scan, unless there is something specific they want to check for when I go for my fortnightly appointment. I'm still taking 100mg Aspirin every day, I'm trying to remember my multi-vitimins and I've just today purchased some red raspberry leaf tea. Over the last two weeks I've started to get really uncomfortable with the common, grumpy late pregnancy discomforts - varicose veins in my upper thighs and groin that hurt when I've been standing or sitting for too long, a bit of breathlesness all the time, I need to pee every 10 minutes (and it's unsatisfying because there's only a teaspoonfull there!) and my clothes, even maternity clothes, are getting tight and uncomfortable. People say I still look small, but I feel GIANT and like I'm always full (and always slightly peckish, too). However I'm pretty sure the baby's arrival isn't immanant because I'm still only waking up once a night to use the bathroom.
I've only got about six weeks to go before this baby is born, and I'm not really feeling prepared. We don't have a name shortlist that we're really happy with (there are a few girls names we like, but boys are more difficult). I haven't really done any prep for birthing - I'm not as fit or strong as I was when I was pregnant with Asher, because between paid work and mothering and active almost-three-year-old I don't have time for 'luxuries' like Pilates, and there have been no classes and minimal reading. There isn't anything I *really* need for when the baby comes but I still feel really unprepared. I'm making lists like a crazy woman - I want to hire a car capsule and buy a baby bath with a stand but they are easy to come by and I can live without both (we have a reversible car seat that works for a newborn and we have a booster car seat for Asher, but I'm keen on being able to cart the capsule around with the sleeping baby). Basically I'm feeling nesty, but too sore and tired to really do much, except look after Asher (and that's a struggle by itself!).
I'm also feeling a little maudlin because these last few weeks are, in all likelihood, the last times I'll feel a baby wriggling and kicking inside me. Despite all the pain and discomfort of being pregnant there is an undeniably special relationship a mother has with a foetus. It's such a private thing, yet it's on display for everyone and it's such a short time out of a lifetime, but so intense. It's also the closest thing you have to having control over your kids - after they are born they are even more subject to the whims of chance and the universe. I'm feeling ambivalent about our decision to not find out the sex of the baby too - I don't mind if this baby is a boy or a girl, but if I am carrying a boy it is highly unlikely I'll ever have a daughter, which is sad for me. If I have a boy I wonder if I'll want to mourn that loss - it will probably feel disloyal to the little boy, and so I'll stir guilt into the mix as well. I have no doubt that I'll love the little person either way - I guess I already do!
Anyhow, I need to go and lie down for a bit before I attempt to hang the washing out.
23/04/2009
Asher cuteness
Asher is sick with some kind of virus today. He gets all limp and feverish for a while and then, as is the way of kids with viruses, he perks right up and is fine for an hour or two and I wonder what on earth I'm doing at home with him, then, of course, he gets flat and clingy again. This morning, while he was perky, we went for a train ride to North Sydney (no idea why - we haven't been there together since he was a baby) and while we were sitting in a cafe he fell asleep on my lap. I can't recall any other instance of that happening. Now he's tootling about the kitchen eating a sour Granny Smith apple wanting to type.
As far as a general update: The potty stuff has been driving me crazy - he's been doing wees in his pants when I'm looking after him, but almost never if I'm not there (I think he's only had two or three accidents at Kindy, and he's been out of nappies there all year). But now that seems to be settling a bit and he's even started doing his poos in the potty. I'm really proud of him.
He can pretty much make his own breakfast now - he's not great with restricting the amount of milk he pours on his Weetbix and we still spread butter more evenly when we make his toast, but he's got all the concepts down and all of the basic manoeuvres. His fine motor skills are coming along too - he writes A, H and occasionally something else (like a D). He's sitting next to me now and asking me to help him write his favourite words - Asher, Daddy and Mummy. His letter recognition is close to 100% and he''s getting closer to sight-reading words besides his own name. Freakishly, he also likes to write his own name backwards - both Sanj and I thought the other was helping him when we saw REHSA typed but no. He spells it out like that for fun with his foam bath letters too.
Sleep is getting better. We've ditched the daytime nap most days so unless he's at Kindy or we're going somewhere in the car around the middle of the day, no snooze. I'm also trying to get him into bed a bit earlier which seems to help. For a while there he insisted on sleeping on the little foam fold out kids couch in the baby's room but we discovered he was scared of the 'bats' in his room. Since Sanj explained that bats don't like to be inside houses and went around to all the doors and windows to show they were secure against bats before bedtime it's been fine. We are slowly getting our evenings back - which will of course end when the new baby arrives, in approximately 8-10 weeks.
Although he's still obsessed with trains he's also very snuggly and gives me, and the baby in my tummy, lots of kisses and cuddles. He's very verbal and loves quoting and mis-quoting lines from his story books and regularly quotes bits of Lewis Carroll's Jabberwocky (we have the Graeme Base illustrated book) which cracks me up completely. While I remember also wanted to write down a few of the funny things he's been saying before I forget them.
Washing hands in the bathroom, Sanjay puts a pump of soap on Asher's hands and he hears "Thank you, SoapMan!"
"Grandma and Grandpa say 'strawberry' but I say 'strawbry'"
"I like your pants, mumbo"
Karen, in the car: which of you kids farted?
Asher: my daddy farts
...I wish I could think of the others right now. Maybe later. Right now he's getting hot and whiny again - it's time to go and snuggle in bed and read some stories in the hope that he falls asleep.
As far as a general update: The potty stuff has been driving me crazy - he's been doing wees in his pants when I'm looking after him, but almost never if I'm not there (I think he's only had two or three accidents at Kindy, and he's been out of nappies there all year). But now that seems to be settling a bit and he's even started doing his poos in the potty. I'm really proud of him.
He can pretty much make his own breakfast now - he's not great with restricting the amount of milk he pours on his Weetbix and we still spread butter more evenly when we make his toast, but he's got all the concepts down and all of the basic manoeuvres. His fine motor skills are coming along too - he writes A, H and occasionally something else (like a D). He's sitting next to me now and asking me to help him write his favourite words - Asher, Daddy and Mummy. His letter recognition is close to 100% and he''s getting closer to sight-reading words besides his own name. Freakishly, he also likes to write his own name backwards - both Sanj and I thought the other was helping him when we saw REHSA typed but no. He spells it out like that for fun with his foam bath letters too.
Sleep is getting better. We've ditched the daytime nap most days so unless he's at Kindy or we're going somewhere in the car around the middle of the day, no snooze. I'm also trying to get him into bed a bit earlier which seems to help. For a while there he insisted on sleeping on the little foam fold out kids couch in the baby's room but we discovered he was scared of the 'bats' in his room. Since Sanj explained that bats don't like to be inside houses and went around to all the doors and windows to show they were secure against bats before bedtime it's been fine. We are slowly getting our evenings back - which will of course end when the new baby arrives, in approximately 8-10 weeks.
Although he's still obsessed with trains he's also very snuggly and gives me, and the baby in my tummy, lots of kisses and cuddles. He's very verbal and loves quoting and mis-quoting lines from his story books and regularly quotes bits of Lewis Carroll's Jabberwocky (we have the Graeme Base illustrated book) which cracks me up completely. While I remember also wanted to write down a few of the funny things he's been saying before I forget them.
Washing hands in the bathroom, Sanjay puts a pump of soap on Asher's hands and he hears "Thank you, SoapMan!"
"Grandma and Grandpa say 'strawberry' but I say 'strawbry'"
"I like your pants, mumbo"
Karen, in the car: which of you kids farted?
Asher: my daddy farts
...I wish I could think of the others right now. Maybe later. Right now he's getting hot and whiny again - it's time to go and snuggle in bed and read some stories in the hope that he falls asleep.
14/04/2009
Digital Dramas
For the first time ever I think I have a really legitimate excuse for not blogging recently - there has been a cascade of electronic dramas in our household over the last few weeks.
First was the car. The Civic stopped working. I discovered this when I went down with my instructor to start my driving lesson. First I thought the central locking wasn't working, then I wondered why the light didn't come on when I opened the door, then when I turned the key in the ignition there was not even a click - luckily my instructor is flexible and Franni was across having breakfast in Naremburn and we walked over and I drove her little green frog car. We didn't call the NRMA immediately because neither of us had the time to drive the car for the hour or so it would need and after that, it got more complicated.
Next discovery was that the backup drive that I got before Christmas doesn't work. At all. I spent ages arsing around changing cables and testing on different computers to work that out. I was trying to back-up because I had (and still have) the feeling that my PC is going to die on me and, at best, will need a complete rebuild.
Then, maybe the next day, when I turned the computer on my fancy new Samsung screen didn't work. I got an error message so I didn't realise it was the screen that was the problem and again wasted several hours of my life trying to narrow down where the problem was. Unfortunately we have to send it back to Samsung rather than taking it into the shop where we got it, which is a huge f***ng pain. The screen took a freaking age to troubleshoot, because we have no spare screen I ended up having to try various cables and hook up the screen that Sanjay broke (in his fit of pique) to work out that it was, in fact, the screen itself (not the cable, graphics card, or whatever else).
Next were the phones - Sanjay's mobile decided it wasn't working, unless it was either in the car or on speakerphone. The keypad keeps falling off my phone. Then the final straw - our home phone stopped working, after a little troubleshooting we worked out that the problem was with the line - neither phone nor internet worked. We were officially incommunicado - we had to wait til Sanjay's phone randomly started working again to call and they said it was a line fault. Living for a week with no internet was horrible, like having a limb removed - we did get a few early nights though. Optus had to send out a technician, who spent about 6 seconds the other morning plugging a cable in the comms board back in. He said it was probably a Telstra technician 'accidentally' bumping it.
So, Sanjay's phone mysteriously fixed itself, we have Anil's screen, we are back online, I got the most vital photos backed up onto Sanjay's laptop while I get the backup drive sorted and Sanj called NRMA and got the car dealt with yesterday. And that is the saga. Hopefully I can now resume my normal, rather sporadic, blog posting schedule. A big thanks to Michael for coming around and helping us get some of the computer stuff a bit more sorted!
First was the car. The Civic stopped working. I discovered this when I went down with my instructor to start my driving lesson. First I thought the central locking wasn't working, then I wondered why the light didn't come on when I opened the door, then when I turned the key in the ignition there was not even a click - luckily my instructor is flexible and Franni was across having breakfast in Naremburn and we walked over and I drove her little green frog car. We didn't call the NRMA immediately because neither of us had the time to drive the car for the hour or so it would need and after that, it got more complicated.
Next discovery was that the backup drive that I got before Christmas doesn't work. At all. I spent ages arsing around changing cables and testing on different computers to work that out. I was trying to back-up because I had (and still have) the feeling that my PC is going to die on me and, at best, will need a complete rebuild.
Then, maybe the next day, when I turned the computer on my fancy new Samsung screen didn't work. I got an error message so I didn't realise it was the screen that was the problem and again wasted several hours of my life trying to narrow down where the problem was. Unfortunately we have to send it back to Samsung rather than taking it into the shop where we got it, which is a huge f***ng pain. The screen took a freaking age to troubleshoot, because we have no spare screen I ended up having to try various cables and hook up the screen that Sanjay broke (in his fit of pique) to work out that it was, in fact, the screen itself (not the cable, graphics card, or whatever else).
Next were the phones - Sanjay's mobile decided it wasn't working, unless it was either in the car or on speakerphone. The keypad keeps falling off my phone. Then the final straw - our home phone stopped working, after a little troubleshooting we worked out that the problem was with the line - neither phone nor internet worked. We were officially incommunicado - we had to wait til Sanjay's phone randomly started working again to call and they said it was a line fault. Living for a week with no internet was horrible, like having a limb removed - we did get a few early nights though. Optus had to send out a technician, who spent about 6 seconds the other morning plugging a cable in the comms board back in. He said it was probably a Telstra technician 'accidentally' bumping it.
So, Sanjay's phone mysteriously fixed itself, we have Anil's screen, we are back online, I got the most vital photos backed up onto Sanjay's laptop while I get the backup drive sorted and Sanj called NRMA and got the car dealt with yesterday. And that is the saga. Hopefully I can now resume my normal, rather sporadic, blog posting schedule. A big thanks to Michael for coming around and helping us get some of the computer stuff a bit more sorted!
22/03/2009
Pregnancy update - 26+ weeks
I spent this afternoon all nesty, sorting through Asher's old clothes. I was meant to be studying but instead I went through the built-in cupboards in both Asher's room and the baby-to-be's room. My back is so sore that I want to cry (have just had some paracetamol) but at least I know why I found it so hard to dress Asher in those first few months. He had SO FEW clothes, just 4-5 newborn sized outfits, with a few more sets of tops and pants, most of which he couldn't wear because the pants would just drop off him (er, yes, he was rather skinny!). I have no idea why I didn't buy a bunch of size 0000 Bonds Wondersuits but... well, I didn't, and it means that I'll be buying a bunch of teeny outfits for this bub, as soon as the winter clothes really start to hit the shops. I will, however, restrain myself until I know what sex the baby is and also whether s/he is measuring small - it's surprisingly hard to find decent plain white/gender neutral baby clothes. If it's looking like I'm going to have another small baby I will buy one or two outfits in the larger premmie size.
Which brings me to the actual pregnancy update. I've been getting really sore in my lower back and my hips and nothing much helps, except acupuncture. I'm also meant to be taking things easy (which means not carrying boxes of clothing around, or sitting on the floor sorting and folding) and hanging out in the almost-weightlessness of water to stop it escalating, but it's really hard. I have tests coming up - blood tests this week to check for I-don't-know-what (but I did ask to get haemoglobin checked as I wondering whether I'm a tiny bit anaemic), an ultrasound on the first of April to check the baby's growth (s/hes really active, so I'm not worried about it's health but the auto-immune issues mean an increased likelihood of intra-uterine growth retardation - IUGR) and then the horrible glucose tolerance test the week after. It's weird that I have no hesitation or concern about the blood draw, but I'm dreading drinking sugary stuff and sitting for an hour.
That's enough for tonight - time to eat chocolate mousse and lie on the couch...
Which brings me to the actual pregnancy update. I've been getting really sore in my lower back and my hips and nothing much helps, except acupuncture. I'm also meant to be taking things easy (which means not carrying boxes of clothing around, or sitting on the floor sorting and folding) and hanging out in the almost-weightlessness of water to stop it escalating, but it's really hard. I have tests coming up - blood tests this week to check for I-don't-know-what (but I did ask to get haemoglobin checked as I wondering whether I'm a tiny bit anaemic), an ultrasound on the first of April to check the baby's growth (s/hes really active, so I'm not worried about it's health but the auto-immune issues mean an increased likelihood of intra-uterine growth retardation - IUGR) and then the horrible glucose tolerance test the week after. It's weird that I have no hesitation or concern about the blood draw, but I'm dreading drinking sugary stuff and sitting for an hour.
That's enough for tonight - time to eat chocolate mousse and lie on the couch...
16/03/2009
Nesty
Yep, the nesting has begun! A few weeks ago we went to Ikea and brought home the Poang chair for breastfeeding in. Originally I wanted to get a lovely squooshy rocker/glider but they are all so monumentally ugly that I decided against that. Then I was thinking I'd find a mid-century modern armchair on eBay and get new cushions and get it re-upholstered, but I really wanted to sit in the chair before I bought it, and I wanted something that would move a bit. So I settled for Poang. I did get a nice cushion as well to shove under the 'feeding arm' so the babies head is less likely to get bumped on the wooden chair arms.
I've been stalking eBay and recently got a sweet little cabinet for our kitchen (I'm still looking for the perfect low bookshelf for the baby's room) so we have re-organised our kitchen cupboards. I wanted to put a whole lot of crafty type junk that is currently in the baby's room into the cupboard but it fit best in the kitchen and Sanjay has spent rather a lot of the last two weekends sorting out kitchen stuff and moving it around. I was slightly irritated that he was so busy re-arranging things until I realised that it was just his way of nesting. Now all our kitchen stuff fits in our kitchen, but I still don't know where I'm going to put the junk from the babies room. When that goes somewhere then I can sort through Asher's old clothes and toys - and then I'll know what I actually need for this baby. I remember having barely any clothes for Asher when he was tiny, having to struggle to make sure I did laundry every day so that stuff would be clean and dry for him to wear. This time will be different. In all likelihood this will be my last baby, so I'm determined to buy him/her a few nice things and I'm hoping for more hand-me-downs now that more of my friends have kids (last time I got some great boys stuff from the incomparable Aprill, but most of my other friends were either using their baby clothes or didn't have kids).
Apart from sorting, tidying and re-organising I would really love to paint the house, but I can't see that happening in the next three months or so. I'll have to satisfy myself doing a few things to pretty-up the baby's room - again, something I didn't do last time. I am seriously considering making a mobile, dying some sheets (and maybe the Poang chair cover!). Any other ideas?
I've been stalking eBay and recently got a sweet little cabinet for our kitchen (I'm still looking for the perfect low bookshelf for the baby's room) so we have re-organised our kitchen cupboards. I wanted to put a whole lot of crafty type junk that is currently in the baby's room into the cupboard but it fit best in the kitchen and Sanjay has spent rather a lot of the last two weekends sorting out kitchen stuff and moving it around. I was slightly irritated that he was so busy re-arranging things until I realised that it was just his way of nesting. Now all our kitchen stuff fits in our kitchen, but I still don't know where I'm going to put the junk from the babies room. When that goes somewhere then I can sort through Asher's old clothes and toys - and then I'll know what I actually need for this baby. I remember having barely any clothes for Asher when he was tiny, having to struggle to make sure I did laundry every day so that stuff would be clean and dry for him to wear. This time will be different. In all likelihood this will be my last baby, so I'm determined to buy him/her a few nice things and I'm hoping for more hand-me-downs now that more of my friends have kids (last time I got some great boys stuff from the incomparable Aprill, but most of my other friends were either using their baby clothes or didn't have kids).
Apart from sorting, tidying and re-organising I would really love to paint the house, but I can't see that happening in the next three months or so. I'll have to satisfy myself doing a few things to pretty-up the baby's room - again, something I didn't do last time. I am seriously considering making a mobile, dying some sheets (and maybe the Poang chair cover!). Any other ideas?
12/03/2009
The Sleep Thing
It's the sleep thing again. Asher has been taking a long time to go to sleep, then waking a few times most night recently, and it’s been driving us all pretty crazy. The going to bed routine now consist of teeth brushing, nappy, PJs then Sanjay reading a story, me going in and telling a story (I’ll have to write down my version of the three bears sometime!) then I have to leave and Sanjay has to go back in again. Sometimes that is just a last cuddle, sometimes Sanjay has to stay there until Asher drops off to sleep. After all that palaver Asher’s getting to sleep between 8:30pm and 10pm which means that he’s often tired the next day and Sanjay and I have very little grown-up time together (…and then there is food to be eaten, cleaning up to be done, Sanjay has work to do and we end up tired and grumpy with one another – but that is another post for another time). When there is only one parent present it is often a bit easier, but that doesn’t really solve the problem. When I'm putting him to sleep during the day I'm also noticing that he's practising 'counting' on his fingers - Sanjay has shown him how to hold up one, two, three, four and five fingers but the manual dexterity required means that Asher has had to practise. Maybe part of the sleep disturbance is a developmental change - just like when he was six months old and his sleep was really disturbed just as he was learning to crawl.
When Asher wakes up in the night Sanjay, bless him, usually deals with it. Since nobody sleeps very well when a kicking, fidgeting, toddler is in our bed we tend to escort him back to his own room as soon as he’s calm. Sometimes it’s as simple as going to the kitchen for a glass of water (“with a piece of ice!”). Either way, when it happens occasionally it’s fine, when it’s multiple times a night it’s just not on.
I was too busy trying to ‘fix’ what was obviously broken and didn't stop to wonder what was going on, whether there was a cause. I tried encouraging him to go to sleep by having one of us sleep in his bed next to him (not effective) and I tried being stern and spending less time in the putting to bed routine (even less effective and unpleasant for everyone) and I tried re-framing my thought about how ‘putting Asher to bed’ should be (no one got any more sleep, but I was more relaxed). So the other night when, just before bed, Asher asked me if there were owls at night I absentmindedly told him that there were, and that they flew around outside. Sanjay added that the owls didn’t come inside people’s houses, that they were shy and liked it outside by themselves and then I twigged. We had been reading Beatrix Potter’s ‘The Tale of Squirrel Nutkin’ a lot, particularly at bedtime and it seems that the part where Old Brown the Owl comes very close to skinning and eating naughty little Squirrel Nutkin was just too scary for poor Asher. Unfortunately, instead of Asher choosing a different book or asking me about the story or about owls he just kept requesting the book ("I want my new book again!") and I, not realising that anything was amiss, kept reading it, and making it even scarier with each reading. I had even read, and laughed with sympathetic amusement at, this blog post from Finslippy so you would think I would have twigged to what was going on earlier. I think being 'in the moment' is so necessary in parenting, but conversely you can't be a really thoughtful, 'conscious' parent without removing yourself a bit sometimes.
So, now we are limiting bedtime books to things like Green Eggs and Ham, The Magic Beach and Where's Wally and things are getting a bit better. The night wake-ups are minimised (he has a cold and has woken up snotty a few times, but that's different) and we are going to look at the bedtime routine gradually. I'm going out tomorrow night and might suggest Sanj heads out on Saturday night or early next week so we can try putting him to bed as solo parents in the hope that decreases the amount of neediness at bedtime.
02/03/2009
Luna Park
Yesterday Sanjay had to work at an expo at Luna Park for a few hours in the morning and as part of the deal he got a free passes for Asher and I to use while he was there. We had a great time - I got a coffee and Italian pastry from a nearby cafe first and we headed down, picked up our writbands and then went on some rides. We treid out the big ferris wheel first and after waiting 10 minutes or so we were just about to get on when Asher told me he needed to go to the toilet. Now, I was doubtful that he needed to go, but you ignore a toilet training toddler old making those kind of claims at your peril! Anyway, the very nice ride attendants let us go out and then come back without queueing so I felt like a VIP and Asher still doesn't 'get' that you need to queue before you get to go on rides.
Apart from being exhausted to the point of weeping by the time we caught the train home, it was a really lovely morning. It really feels like he's my little side-kick when we go and do stuff like that - lot's of fun. I'm reminding myself that it won't be long before we'll be a family wherever we go, it won't just be me and my little friend which makes me both sad in a nostalgic kind of way, and stomach-clenchinly anxious about how the hell I'll cope. I'm putting plans in place to help me cope, but the anxiety level is still pretty high.
Apart from being exhausted to the point of weeping by the time we caught the train home, it was a really lovely morning. It really feels like he's my little side-kick when we go and do stuff like that - lot's of fun. I'm reminding myself that it won't be long before we'll be a family wherever we go, it won't just be me and my little friend which makes me both sad in a nostalgic kind of way, and stomach-clenchinly anxious about how the hell I'll cope. I'm putting plans in place to help me cope, but the anxiety level is still pretty high.
26/02/2009
Boy or Girl?
So, we don't know whether this baby in my belly is a boy or a girl (if you ask Asher he says it's a boy) but we do know that it is very, very active. It's not quite 8pm here and it's kicking/headbutting/wriggling so much that I'm feeling a bit nauseous. Truly. I'm about to consult Dr. Google to see if there's anything bad indicated by this much movement. I'm not quite 23 weeks pregnant yet, I hope it gets a bit more squashed and can move less soonish, because if it's jackknifing at 32 weeks like it is now I really am going to puke. It's already disturbing my sleep (the dancing at 2:30am last night kept me awake!) and Sanjay can feel it's kicking from the outside - it's really full on!
24/02/2009
Reading-Writing
I'm not really sure what to title this post but I'll try to think of something by the time I finish writing. In fact, I've been putting off writing this post for almost a month because talking about this subject makes me feel oogy. I'll just dive right in. Asher is starting to learn to read and write.
He is, in typical Asher fashion, doing it backwards, by actually learning to write, and in the process he's accidentally learning to sight-read the words he can write. Of course he doesn't have the manual dexterity to actually form letters with a pen or crayon yet, but he types. He loves to type. It's just because kids want to do what they see their parents doing, which makes me look like I use the computer as much as I wish I did. Anyhow, one way or another, he's obsessed with letters and words. We use typing as a bribe ("when you've finished your breakfast you can do some typing"). At playgroup he does painting but mostly so I'll help him paint his name (sometimes over and over again, when I'm feeling weak). Whenever we have some waiting to do I get him to point out letters and sometimes words - there are plenty of signs about, there are menus to read, even number plates when we get desperate. When someone asks him his name he tells them A-S-H-E-R. There are a few books that people have given him with his name in them which he will point out every time we read them. In short it's pretty full on, and it makes me feel strangely uncomfortable and even a bit guilty.
I know it's meant to be a good thing to have your kid reading early, right? Right? But because he's only two-and-eight-months I feel he shouldn't be learning reading and writing because he's just too young. I'm strangely terrified of being judged as a pushy mum - one of 'those' mothers who who do flashcards with their babies, lots of classes and structured learning and, in my mind at least, compulsively check 'milestones' and obsess about their kids 'keeping up' with the little kids around them. As far as I'm concerned, this couldn't be further from the truth - I reckon that kids develop at their own pace and different kids have different skills that come easily. I don't think little kids need much extra stimulation, I think they just need to see the adults around them doing normal stuff, and ideally spend a bit of time involved in that normal stuff - cooking, cleaning, shopping and interacting nicely with other people, that kind of normal stuff. It just happens that for me 'normal' also includes spending time on the computer, little kids are amazing learning sponges and perhaps my kid is wired to be able to pick some of the basic reading-writing stuff up pretty early. I actually don't think that this interest in letters, spelling and words marks him as being particularly intelligent (I do think he's really smart! I just don't think that this proves it).
I am proud of my boy, but even more there is a strong feeling of relief that it's unlikely we're going to have to really battle to help him to learn to read and write. I'm also really defensive, but I haven't examined why. I don't know why I'm so concerned about being put in the pushy mum box that I have been unwilling to talk to my friends about this, have been putting off posting here about it and instead just telling his grandparents, who already thinks the sun shines out of his footsteps.
So, as to the post title, I think I should swallow my discomfort and go with the obvious...
He is, in typical Asher fashion, doing it backwards, by actually learning to write, and in the process he's accidentally learning to sight-read the words he can write. Of course he doesn't have the manual dexterity to actually form letters with a pen or crayon yet, but he types. He loves to type. It's just because kids want to do what they see their parents doing, which makes me look like I use the computer as much as I wish I did. Anyhow, one way or another, he's obsessed with letters and words. We use typing as a bribe ("when you've finished your breakfast you can do some typing"). At playgroup he does painting but mostly so I'll help him paint his name (sometimes over and over again, when I'm feeling weak). Whenever we have some waiting to do I get him to point out letters and sometimes words - there are plenty of signs about, there are menus to read, even number plates when we get desperate. When someone asks him his name he tells them A-S-H-E-R. There are a few books that people have given him with his name in them which he will point out every time we read them. In short it's pretty full on, and it makes me feel strangely uncomfortable and even a bit guilty.
I know it's meant to be a good thing to have your kid reading early, right? Right? But because he's only two-and-eight-months I feel he shouldn't be learning reading and writing because he's just too young. I'm strangely terrified of being judged as a pushy mum - one of 'those' mothers who who do flashcards with their babies, lots of classes and structured learning and, in my mind at least, compulsively check 'milestones' and obsess about their kids 'keeping up' with the little kids around them. As far as I'm concerned, this couldn't be further from the truth - I reckon that kids develop at their own pace and different kids have different skills that come easily. I don't think little kids need much extra stimulation, I think they just need to see the adults around them doing normal stuff, and ideally spend a bit of time involved in that normal stuff - cooking, cleaning, shopping and interacting nicely with other people, that kind of normal stuff. It just happens that for me 'normal' also includes spending time on the computer, little kids are amazing learning sponges and perhaps my kid is wired to be able to pick some of the basic reading-writing stuff up pretty early. I actually don't think that this interest in letters, spelling and words marks him as being particularly intelligent (I do think he's really smart! I just don't think that this proves it).
I am proud of my boy, but even more there is a strong feeling of relief that it's unlikely we're going to have to really battle to help him to learn to read and write. I'm also really defensive, but I haven't examined why. I don't know why I'm so concerned about being put in the pushy mum box that I have been unwilling to talk to my friends about this, have been putting off posting here about it and instead just telling his grandparents, who already thinks the sun shines out of his footsteps.
So, as to the post title, I think I should swallow my discomfort and go with the obvious...
17/02/2009
My Life in Point Form
So much going on and so little coherence here. I'm blaming the nasty cold Asher brought home from childcare for me, but really it's been going on a bit longer than that. In point form, but no particular order:
- My brother and his girlfriend moved to Singapore. Email contact has been sporadic (phone contact even more minimal) but from what I gather things are good so far. I'm looking forward to hearing more detail soon (hint hint! Tim, get yourself together and email me!)
- My dear friend E had her baby. A short labour, little girl, a month early and only 80g lighter than Asher was at birth. Mum and bub are doing fine, although the little one is taking a while to learn to suck.
- I'm feeling lot's of movement from my little passenger - s/he is even kicking strongly enough for Sanj to feel occasionally, which is nice. I'm starting to get all broody and nesty, which is kinda funny, because it still feels pretty early for that to kick in (21 weeks). The other day I was asking Sanj to help tidy and organise something-or-other and he was sighing and reluctant. I suddenl;y turned into a shrew with a "D'you think the last 20 weeks have gone quickly?" - err, yes - "well the next 20 are going to go AT THE SAME SPEED! SO WE HAVE TO START ORGANISING THINGS!" at which point we both dissolved into laughter. I know all we really need is a box of newborn nappies and to wash a few newborn outfits - nothing that can't be dealt with in the few days I'm in hospital - but the nesty feeling, it's overwhelming.
- I'm having a freak-out about having a newborn and a toddler/preschooler with no drivers license in winter. At the moment the wonderful Karen drives Asher and I around (or we catch public transport) but that'll be impossible with two. I'm having driving lessons, but I won't have my license by the time this baby arrives.
- Asher is being a delight. Today he went to sleep with his arm over my neck, holding my hand, all snuggled up. I've decided that 2.5 is an age of contrasts, because two weeks ago he was making me more angry than I've ever felt toward him, just with normal, defiant, toddler behaviour. His language is just lovely (when he's not whining) and he's funny and kind - I love the way he strokes my belly so softly and talks to the baby. He absolutely freaked me out when he fell off the bed, from standing, onto his back today though. I have a sneaking suspicioun he had a very very slight concussion or black out - after I'd scooped him up onto the bed he went a bit grey and his eyes rolled back in his head, but he started crying when I screamed out all panicked for Sanjay to come NOW! (Sanj slowly sauntered in, assuming there had been a potty accident). We watched him VERY closely for two hours and he's fine, but this was the closest I've come to taking him up to the local ER.
...and that's the short list. I promise to write a post that isn't in point form within the next week.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)