A Letter to a Friend

Unusually for nursing school I was at a table with three men (boys?) today. I have had classes with all three and am quite friendly, but one of these young men is someone I count as a really good friend. More than just a contextual 'uni friend' the guy is someone who has said the right thing to me when I was upset, helped me when I wasn't really managing and he's someone I really trust, which is so important to me. I used to have lots of male friends but now I only have a few. I really value this friendship but sometimes I ask myself 'can men and women really be friends?' Not for the usual reasons people ask that question but because of the power imbalance that lets men completely discount what I say because it doesn't suit their reality.

As we sat in class today I was chatting and trading cheerful insults with the table opposite while I waited for you, or one of the others at the table, to tell me what your internet searches had found on our topic. You teased me for me noisiness, asking if we were going to get any work done. At the time I made some snarky remark but I felt like I'd been slapped, and a gut-dropping, chest-tightening sensation of shame. I had been silenced and I wondered if my cheeks were flaming because they sure felt like it.We set about our work and somehow I managed to stay light, and over the half hour or so I managed to get back my equilibrium, but you didn't notice that whenever one of you spoke I hurried to shut up, not wanting to be accused of being the noisy one or talking over any of you or controlling the conversation in any way.When the teacher asked who in our group was going to present our ideas to the class I tried to make eye contact with all or you. I said your name; "you do it" but the three of you refused to meet my eye. This is important - I was comfortable talking for our group but I not only checked if someone wanted to do it, I pushed each of you individually to get up, not wanting to get in the way of a learning opportunity for any of you. None of you declined politely, you all flatly refused to engage in any way, leaving me with choice of pretending I didn't exist and hoping the teacher would pick one of you, or just getting up and doing the job we had to do. As you know, I got up, muttering curses in the direction of the table but as I sat down in front of the class you said, if a quiet voice designed to carry, "she loves it" and again I felt my cheeks flare. Our teacher, who had commented to the class on the fact none of you would make eye contact and that your refusal to volunteer had made it my obligations, then made a joke about you having given up your right to speak when your inaction forced me to volunteer. And that was the point when I nearly lost my cool altogether. I think I spat 'when a woman says no she means no' at you, which wouldn't have made sense to you at the time but what you did was remove the power of choice from me, forcing me to do something against my will, and then despite evidence to the contrary you said that I loved what you had done to me. Again I was humiliated, but because I'm really good at faking it, and because there was a class full of people watching me, waiting for me to talk I pulled myself together, squashed those feelings of betrayal down into a box in my already broken heart and proceeded to comfortably lead the discussion for the next few minutes.I know you didn't mean to upset me or publicly humiliate me but you need to know that your words have weight, your teasing and jokes can trigger nasty feeling from the past and that patterns of speech and behaviour have context in power imbalances. Gender inequality is a real thing and if you can't see it it's because your privilege has allowed your blindness, not because it doesn't exist. 

For my part, I'm sorry I can't talk to my friend directly about this and I'm sorry that things said in jest can start an avalanche of feelings that don't all have much to do with the here-and-now. I wonder if I'm brave enough to send this to him?

Reading for Pleasure

My littlest one, not quite 6 years old, just came downstairs to tell me something.

He and his brother are meant to be asleep, but the big brother wanted to finish a book, probably one he's read multiple times, so the light was on. I think the little guy must have been bored because he came down to tell me.... wait for it.... He had read a book.

He's only just gotten the hang of reading, he's just practicing matching the sounds with words, and the words with meaning. This is actually the first time ever he has read for pleasure! I hugged him excitedly and welcomed him into the world of reading-for-pleasure, explaining how wonderful and powerful it was, and told him that my favourite activity in the whole world was actually just reading for pleasure. I'm so happy!

Five Books That Changed Me

I read Leslie Cannold's recent blog post about books that 'changed her' and thought it was a great meme, so here are my picks. These are not necessarily my favourite books, just some books that were important in shaping the way I think or defined a point in my life.


James Thurber: The 13 Clocks
"The cold duke was six foot four and forty-six and even colder than he thought he was" makes me think that Thurber is the grand-master of the perfectly turned phrase. This book is a favourite of my fathers and a favourite of mine. The book is aimed at children but is so lovely to read out loud that it appeals to adults as well. It is a simple fable about the power of love, but the language is so wonderful that it literally makes me tingle.

Salman Rushdie: Midnight's Children
This book smacked me upside the head with its layered complexity. It also made me crave samosas. It's another beautifully written book and taught me a lot about magical realism as a genre. I read it when I was at Uni, and really trying to understand post-modernism and relativism and I think in this book Rushdie crystallizes some of these ideas into novel form. Having visited India after reading the book I feel that immersing yourself in this novel is good practice for dealing with immersing yourself in India.

Marilyn French: The Women's Room 
This blew my mind at the time I read it (toward the end of high school) and inducted me into the world of the card carrying feminist.

Peter Carey: Bliss
I read this while I was still at school and Carey is a very grow-up author. This story introduced me to a whole level of adult uncertainty and gave me the idea that the adult world is just as messy and difficult as the world of adolescents.

William Gibson: Neuromancer
Introduced me to 'cyberpunk' and Gibson's special form of page-turning prose. It's a dense, cool book and I love it. In some ways it defined my entry into the world of being a professional Internet person.

And number six, the non-fiction book that has changed the way I think the most:
Nicholas Kristof and Sheryl WuDunn: Half the Sky
This book has completely changed the way that I look at the idea of 'helping those less fortunate' in developing countries. None of the stats or stories were a big surprise to me, having studied similar stuff at uni, but the presentation of the material made me look at aid on a micro rather than macro level. Think of that hippy story about the hundred starfish....



Now, write your own list, like my friend JM has, and leave a link to your blog in the comments (No blog? Then comment with your whole list!).

Language update

I've been looking through this blog trying to work out what Asher's language was like when he was the same age as Kiz is now and I'm wishing that I had updated more frequently! I know that he had a bunch of words by the time he was Kiran's age, but the blog doesn't relate how many, or which words (I think I might have a list written down on a scrap of paper somewhere though - which is the exact reason I try to blog my updates). So, in the spirit of too-much-detail-never-being-enough here is the list of words, in no particular order, Kiz says recognisably (as of today, with him being ~16.5 months old):
Bird
Puppy
Mummy
Daddy
Asher (kind of - because the 'sh' sound is to hard so it comes out something vaguely like 'ah-gar')
Baby
Ball
Na (for nose)
Ta-ta (which can mean 'thank you' or 'give it to me' depending on context. He also mimics when we say 'thank you' with the correct intonation and a decent approximation of the sounds of the words)
Nigh' nigh' (night night)
Car
Hello
Bye-bye
Apple
Yes
Bear
New today are cracker and Chacha (Hindi for fathers-younger-brother/Uncle) but I'm not sure if they will stick (I think he's starting to learn a word or two every day now).

He also asks for songs with the actions and sweetly sings 'row row' so that I will do the actions with him. He has a kind of grasp-y sign which means he wants something but no signs that we have taught him and he sometimes strings two words together ("hello puppy" "bey-bye Daddy"). He often insists on taking a book to bed with him, which is very cute and like Asher at the same age he loves being read to. I'm really loving watching the process of the little guy learning language, and this time I'll try and make more notes about it here.

Oh the questions of a 4 year old!

I didn't think the Starbright, Meditations for Children book Elvira brought us today would cause quite so much difficult conversation with my 4 year old. When I pictured parenting a preschooler I expected to have to field questions about things like why the sky is blue (It's got something to do with, ah, reflection or refraction - lets look it up!) and where babies come from (they come from a mummies tummy! - How do they get in there? - Ah, well, ah, when a mummy and a daddy love each other very much and want to make a baby they, ah, well you've seen little plants grow from seeds? Well babies kind of grow from special seeds. Kind of) but Asher still surprises me. Not just difficult but doable questions like 'What is shift work' 'What is the government' and yesterday, driving through the rural fringes of Sydney, 'Is that a Tapir?' (it was a remarkably tapir shaped cow, for any punters out there who might be wondering) but tonight I needed to try and explain magic, guardian angels and what his imagination is!  

I always try to answer Asher's questions simply and honestly, with appropriate depth and detail (I find the key is to answer the question he's really asking, without getting into details unless he asks further) because I feel that is the respectful way to address the genuine questions of a smart kid. And it appears that it's not just his parents and immediate family who think he's a bright kid. We spend a lot of time with some pretty exceptional preschoolers, so Asher seems bright and inquiring but relatively normal for his age but Asher's childcare teacher has noticed his facility with language and his literacy and numeracy skills and has suggested we get him assessed. We are somewhat ambivalent about this and cagey about having a preschooler labelled as 'gifted and talented' (or whatever) but it seems the benefits might outweigh our niggling reservations - we aren't overly happy with how things are at childcare and feel this might be the key to changing things for the better. We are going to ask what they are planning to do with the information with respect to looking after his 'special needs' with the follow-up question being why they aren't currently providing him with a more thought-out program.


So for now, send us sympathy. We need to try to answer all this smart little kid's difficult questions and give him with enough food for thought without overwhelming him. We want to provide for his thirst for knowledge without burying him under our expectations. Really, in the end, we just want the kid to be happy.

Asher cuteness

Asher is sick with some kind of virus today. He gets all limp and feverish for a while and then, as is the way of kids with viruses, he perks right up and is fine for an hour or two and I wonder what on earth I'm doing at home with him, then, of course, he gets flat and clingy again. This morning, while he was perky, we went for a train ride to North Sydney (no idea why - we haven't been there together since he was a baby) and while we were sitting in a cafe he fell asleep on my lap. I can't recall any other instance of that happening. Now he's tootling about the kitchen eating a sour Granny Smith apple wanting to type.

As far as a general update: The potty stuff has been driving me crazy - he's been doing wees in his pants when I'm looking after him, but almost never if I'm not there (I think he's only had two or three accidents at Kindy, and he's been out of nappies there all year). But now that seems to be settling a bit and he's even started doing his poos in the potty. I'm really proud of him.

He can pretty much make his own breakfast now - he's not great with restricting the amount of milk he pours on his Weetbix and we still spread butter more evenly when we make his toast, but he's got all the concepts down and all of the basic manoeuvres. His fine motor skills are coming along too - he writes A, H and occasionally something else (like a D). He's sitting next to me now and asking me to help him write his favourite words - Asher, Daddy and Mummy. His letter recognition is close to 100% and he''s getting closer to sight-reading words besides his own name. Freakishly, he also likes to write his own name backwards - both Sanj and I thought the other was helping him when we saw REHSA typed but no. He spells it out like that for fun with his foam bath letters too.

Sleep is getting better. We've ditched the daytime nap most days so unless he's at Kindy or we're going somewhere in the car around the middle of the day, no snooze. I'm also trying to get him into bed a bit earlier which seems to help. For a while there he insisted on sleeping on the little foam fold out kids couch in the baby's room but we discovered he was scared of the 'bats' in his room. Since Sanj explained that bats don't like to be inside houses and went around to all the doors and windows to show they were secure against bats before bedtime it's been fine. We are slowly getting our evenings back - which will of course end when the new baby arrives, in approximately 8-10 weeks.

Although he's still obsessed with trains he's also very snuggly and gives me, and the baby in my tummy, lots of kisses and cuddles. He's very verbal and loves quoting and mis-quoting lines from his story books and regularly quotes bits of Lewis Carroll's Jabberwocky (we have the Graeme Base illustrated book) which cracks me up completely. While I remember also wanted to write down a few of the funny things he's been saying before I forget them.

Washing hands in the bathroom, Sanjay puts a pump of soap on Asher's hands and he hears "Thank you, SoapMan!"

"Grandma and Grandpa say 'strawberry' but I say 'strawbry'"

"I like your pants, mumbo"

Karen, in the car: which of you kids farted?
Asher: my daddy farts

...I wish I could think of the others right now. Maybe later. Right now he's getting hot and whiny again - it's time to go and snuggle in bed and read some stories in the hope that he falls asleep.

Reading-Writing

I'm not really sure what to title this post but I'll try to think of something by the time I finish writing. In fact, I've been putting off writing this post for almost a month because talking about this subject makes me feel oogy. I'll just dive right in. Asher is starting to learn to read and write.

He is, in typical Asher fashion, doing it backwards, by actually learning to write, and in the process he's accidentally learning to sight-read the words he can write. Of course he doesn't have the manual dexterity to actually form letters with a pen or crayon yet, but he types. He loves to type. It's just because kids want to do what they see their parents doing, which makes me look like I use the computer as much as I wish I did. Anyhow, one way or another, he's obsessed with letters and words. We use typing as a bribe ("when you've finished your breakfast you can do some typing"). At playgroup he does painting but mostly so I'll help him paint his name (sometimes over and over again, when I'm feeling weak). Whenever we have some waiting to do I get him to point out letters and sometimes words - there are plenty of signs about, there are menus to read, even number plates when we get desperate. When someone asks him his name he tells them A-S-H-E-R. There are a few books that people have given him with his name in them which he will point out every time we read them. In short it's pretty full on, and it makes me feel strangely uncomfortable and even a bit guilty.

I know it's meant to be a good thing to have your kid reading early, right? Right? But because he's only two-and-eight-months I feel he shouldn't be learning reading and writing because he's just too young. I'm strangely terrified of being judged as a pushy mum - one of 'those' mothers who who do flashcards with their babies, lots of classes and structured learning and, in my mind at least, compulsively check 'milestones' and obsess about their kids 'keeping up' with the little kids around them. As far as I'm concerned, this couldn't be further from the truth - I reckon that kids develop at their own pace and different kids have different skills that come easily. I don't think little kids need much extra stimulation, I think they just need to see the adults around them doing normal stuff, and ideally spend a bit of time involved in that normal stuff - cooking, cleaning, shopping and interacting nicely with other people, that kind of normal stuff. It just happens that for me 'normal' also includes spending time on the computer, little kids are amazing learning sponges and perhaps my kid is wired to be able to pick some of the basic reading-writing stuff up pretty early. I actually don't think that this interest in letters, spelling and words marks him as being particularly intelligent (I do think he's really smart! I just don't think that this proves it).

I am proud of my boy, but even more there is a strong feeling of relief that it's unlikely we're going to have to really battle to help him to learn to read and write. I'm also really defensive, but I haven't examined why. I don't know why I'm so concerned about being put in the pushy mum box that I have been unwilling to talk to my friends about this, have been putting off posting here about it and instead just telling his grandparents, who already thinks the sun shines out of his footsteps.

So, as to the post title, I think I should swallow my discomfort and go with the obvious...

How does a toddler undestand Love?

If this conversation is anything to go by, Asher might think that loving someone means that you enjoy hanging out with them. It occured at around 9pm last night, when Sanjay was at the end of his tether trying to get Asher to sleep.

Sanjay: Goodnight Asher, I love you and Mumbo loves you and now you need to go to sleep
Asher: I don't love Mumbo
Sanjay: Yes you do, you love her the most!
Asher: I love you, and when you're not here, I love Mumbo
Sanjay (not knowing what else to say): Goodnight.

Absurdist conversation

Some of the best parts of living with a toddler are the wild and crazy conversations one suddenly finds oneself in the midst of. Much better than dealing with the 45 minutes of exhaustion tantrum today or Asher's research into what pisses his mother off yesterday (it seems flinging oneself on the ground repeatedly whilst walking around the shopping centre will eventually do it). This conversation is as close to verbatim as I can remember it. It happened on the train coming home from dinner with my dad on Saturday night.

Asher: I'm a fish
Keda: A baby fish?
Asher: A big fish!
Sanjay: In a small pond?
Asher: No, in a big one.
Keda: So you are a big fish in a small pond?
Asher: Yes
Sanjay: What kind of fish are you? A red herring?
Asher: No
Keda: A carp?
Asher: No
Sanjay: A sardine?
Asher: No
Keda: A dolphin*?
Asher: No
Sanjay: A cod?
Asher: No
Keda: A tuna fish?
Asher: Yes! I'm a tuna fish!

* Yeah, I know, dolphins aren't fish. We were both giggling and I was finding it difficult to think of random fish by this point.

Update - Part II

So, Christmas was good. We left Sydney about two hours later than planned on Christmas eve and went up the coast to my mothers. Christmas morning there was Santa, presents then lunch, snoozing and a trip to the beach in the late afternoon. The rest of the holiday saw twice daily trips to the beach, a kid who was happy as a clam playing in the sand (even letting Sanj and I head off for a swim in the surf together and contentedly playing with 'Granny Frani' or an aunt or uncle!) but slightly whiny and out-of-sorts at the house. He slept on a mattress on the floor in the same room as us, which worked out really well (i.e. we all got enough sleep). Apart from some slight unexplained grouchiness from Sanjay it was all one can hope for in a family holiday.

Asher's development is amazing at the moment. His language is coming on a pace and he's starting to really 'get' a whole bunch of concepts that seemed to be quite hazy recently, e.g. size comparisons:

Scene: Sanjay and Asher in the shower
Asher: You've got a big peenie. I've got a *tiny* one!
Sanjay: ....!

As I mentioned in my previous post, he's also started potty training. He didn't wear a nappy much while we were away and did most of his wees and poos on the potty and since we've been back he's only in a nappy at sleep time (both day and evening). So far it seems to be relatively successful. No accidents at all on days one and two, three accidents yesterday (including the fist set of poo covered undies! Yuck!) and none today so far (he's asleep at the moment). Unfortunately he doesn't really tell us when he needs to go, and at home that's just fine as he can get his undies down by himself and he just takes himself off to the potty most of the time. Slightly more of a problem when we are out though - what I've had success with so far is showing Asher where the toilets are when we get somewhere and then watching and helping when I see signs of him going to the bathroom (by that I mean trying to get the door open or whatever, not jiggling around holding his penis!). It's all kind of exciting and kind of a hassle, but I think he's been more-or-less ready for a while and we picked a reasonably good time to go with him on this. Tonight Asher and I are catching the train to the city and going to dinner in Chinatown with my dad (Sanj is at the Cricket and we're meeting him there) then we are catching the train home together which all seems pretty complicated from a toilet perspective, so with me luck!

Just so you know I'm still alive...

...I'll post a conversation from the weekend. The scene was a cafe where Sanjay, Asher and I were having coffee and brioche with my brother Tim and his girlfriend. We were discussing a trip to Bunnings and possible drill purchase and Asher was trying to get my Tim's attention.

Tim: Do you know where we're going when we've finished our coffee Asher?
Asher: After coffee?
Tim: The most fun place in the whole world!
Asher (head tilted to the side in hopeful expectation): Wizzy World?
Tim: Nope - Bunnings!
Keda: Asher, Bunnings is a shop
Asher: Bunny shop?

Emerging Grammar

I was crowing the other day about how Asher seemed to have worked out that there was such a thing as grammar in language. We were at the zoo and Asher told me he had 'seed' the giraffes. As soon as he said it I was all excited - just like I was waiting for his first four-word sentence I was waiting to see when he would get that there was such a thing as grammar. Up until now if he used any kind of grammar (tenses etc) I couldn't be sure whether he was copying words he'd heard but hearing him make a mistake when applying a rule (in this case not using the exception) means that he's worked out that there are such things as rules to make tenses.

It didn't occur to me until several days later (when I was boring Elvira with my excitement) that many people would just correct the kid an not think anymore about it, but for me the way little kids acquire language and all it's complex rules and exceptions is nothing short of miraculous, and I feel so lucky to be able to watch it in my boy and his little friends.



The picture is of Asher and my cousin Ciaran at the zoo. Ciaran was trying to take photos of the giraffes with the harbour and city skyline in the background and Asher wanted to help. Ciaran was really lovely with him, endlessly patient with Asher's camera obsession and letting Asher fill the entire CF card with wonky images.

A guided tour through Asher's bookshelf

So, I promised a book review or two and I realise, as I read some other reviews, that I'm basically crap at reviewing. I guess that's why I did so poorly in English at school, because I really do like to read. I wonder why? I'm certainly critical enough. So instead of calling these 'reviews' lets call this post a 'book guide for babies.'

It's not an exhaustive list of Asher's books, but they are some of our current favourites (he's almost two). I've put them in alphabetical order, so don't feel like I'm playing favourites, and the book links are mostly to Amazon.com, although you should ideally purchase books from your local independent book retailer!

Janet and Allen Ahlberg - Each Peach Pear Plum
Divine illustrations and beautiful rhyme make this book great. It's possibly a little old for Asher because he doesn't 'get' most of the nursery-rhyme and fairy-tale allusions and he doesn't understand looking for the characters but he keeps asking us to read it, so he must like it.

Pamela Allen - Mr. McGee and the Biting Flea
We had 'Fancy That' by Pamela Allen as well, but that was so well-loved that it got ripped, because it is a paper rather than a board book, and we don't have a replacement yet. I believe that this is one of those books that is going to encourage literacy because of the repetition of the 'ow, oo, ee' sounds. It's fun enough to read and the illustrations of Mr. McGee struggling out of all of his clothes are priceless.

Sandra Boynton - Moo, Baa, La La La
This book is a surreal look at animal sounds. The rhythm and rhyme are great in Sandra's books and the drawings are cute and quirky enough to keep the adults entertained through many, many readings. We also have But Not the Hippopotamus which I think Asher likes but I find a bit ummm.... sad? Forgive the spoiler but the hippo gets left out of everything until the end of the book when she joins in with the others. It's reads more lonely than it sounds when I put it like that and I just don't like it as much. One of the advantages of both of these books is that they are really short - good for little kids with short attention spans, and good for kids who are meant to be in bed but need a story.

Rod Campbell - Dear Zoo
Another classic (and very sturdy or well designed for a lift-the-flap book - our copy has no injuries so far!). Asher loved this book from very early on. He liked, and still likes, turning the pages and lifting the flaps and making the appropriate animal noises. He still won't tell us what a camel sounds like though.

Eric Carle - The Very Hungry Caterpillar
This book is a classic, and it's famous for a reason, it truly appeals to young children and adults don't mind repeated readings. I personally am not much of a fan of the illustrations but Asher seems to love it (I prefer the delicacy and detail of Allison Lester, Janet and Allan Ahlberg and the Lynley Dodd books).

Lynley Dodd - Slinky Malinki
Although we have various others in the Hairy Maclary series this one is my personal favourite. I don't know if it's because we had it first or because of the sheer joy of the language but I really love reading this book aloud. The drama, the fun-to-read language and the beautiful, detailed illustration make for a really lovely book.

P.D. Eastman - Are you my Mother
I loved this book as a child and so recently purchased the board book for Asher. We haven't read it very much but already it's becoming a favourite. I think he's confused about the digger being called a Snort though! This fabulous review explains the book and some misgivings around it's content it much better than I can...

Mem Fox and Judy Horacek - Where is the Green Sheep
OK, make 'Slinky Malinky' my *joint* read-aloud favourite with Green Sheep - this book is unadulterated reading aloud pleasure, and would be top of my list for books for babies. It'll probably get included in most baby shower gifts I give from now on. This book really spells out what things are, so it's great for babies just as they are learning that words connect to things and to concepts ('near' 'far' 'moon' 'star') and it continues to be a great book for toddlers who are working out shapes, concepts and colours. (Check Judy Horacek's site for hilarious cartoons)

Charles Fuge and Angela McAllister - Found You, Little Wombat
This one is still a bit old for Asher, but he asks for it regularly. He doesn't understand the idea of 'hide-and-seek' which is the premise of the story, but the illustrations are engaging and it has good narrative tension. As long as it treads the line between trying to fit too much 'story' in while still being simple enough for the very young this will probably become a favourite for all of us.

Helen Nicoll and Jan Pienkowski - Meg and Mog
I suspect that this book is the one that will help Asher learn to read. I'm not a huge fan, mostly because of the ending, but I like how clear it is and how the words really relate to the text so perfectly. I guess that's what you get for having a strong collaboration between the author and the illustrator?

Michael Rosen and Helen Oxenbury - We're Going on a Bear Hunt
We go through phases of loving this one and times where he doesn't request it as much. I love the sequencing aspect of this book which is similar to Kiss, Kiss, but with better production values (better written, better illustration)

Dr. Seuss - One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish
At this stage Asher is still to young for this classic, but because it was a favourite of mine as a little kid we have it, and we occasionally have a go at reading it to Asher. As his attention span grows he may be able to last a bit longer before his attention wanders. The cut down versions of this book (Such as 'Wet Pet, Dry Pet, Your Pet, My Pet' which is a 'touch and feel' book we have that Asher LOVES) are a great bet for little kids.

Margaret Wild and Bridget Strevens-Marzo - Kiss, Kiss!
I think this was Asher's fist ever book. I didn't really like the illustrations at first but it's grown on me and now it's one of everyone's favourites. I think the turning point came when Asher was really very little and I walked into the room to see him looking through the book making kissing noises. A very sweet book.

I have always read to Asher - when he was very small it was because I didn't know what else to do with him (we would lie on the bed and I'd read the only two books we owned - Kiss Kiss and Slinky Malinky - over and over again. I would change the way I read them in silly ways (try reading like a Pirate! Or like a Gregorian Chant! Or a newsreader!) to keep me amused but I would just keep reading. As he got a bit older we would both read to him, pointing out things in the picture, and but the time he was maybe seven months he was helping turn pages. Now we read a few books after the bath and before bed every night, as well as sometimes during the day. So now, when I occasionally get bored of the books we have, irritated with being asked to read the same book over and over or irritated by the high price of kids books I go to Mem Fox's website for a pick-me-up dose of literature love. I would encourage everyone, whether you have kids or not, to explore it a bit and make a point of reading books you love to any kids in your life.

Now I'd love some book suggestions for Asher (or for me!). Were you read to as a kid? What books did you love? Why? Do you read to the kids in your life now? What are your favourites to read? What are the kids' favourites?

New Trick

Our friend B always asks about Asher's new tricks so i'm considering Asher's first four-word sentence a trick. He's said four-word sentances before but always direct parroting of something I've said. This time it was all his own. At the park yesterday he told my mum "Franni go do it" to ask her to play with him (I just tried explaining that he wanted her to talk into the ear sculpture on the other side of the hill from the mouth sculpture but it sounded really weird. I'll have to give details of our favourite local park another day).

Anyhow, he hasn't repeated his 'trick' yet but nevertheless I'm going to honour the occasion by reviewing his favourite books tomorrow. I want a record of what he likes and what I like and perhaps it'll help someone else in choosing books for their kid.

Oh the cuteness!

This morning, as I was washing up Asher put his 'baby' in the highchair and said "Dinner! Rice!" to it a few times. Then he took the dolly out of the highchair and took it's clothes off and said "Nappy" and proceeded to take it in and put it on his change table (and then he slammed his fingers in the drawer and called out 'STUCK! STUCK!' until I came and saved him - he's not THAT smart!).

Actually, there is so much cute stuff happening at the moment that almost every day I try to remind myself to blog the lovely things that come out of that kids mouth. Unfortunately by the time I get computer time I'm so frazzled by the intensity of the day that I'm not able to string a sentance together. Perhaps I should start blogging in dot points?

18 month update

King of the Castle
Originally uploaded by surroundsound5000

I love this picture Michael took of Asher on Crowdy Beach! It was taken while we were up staying at Crowdy over Christmas, which is when Asher turned 18 months old. It's a convenient thing for my memory to have is birthday right in the middle of the year. It was from the 26th of December, his 18 month 'birthday' that we really noticed an amazing improvement in his language. From being a kid who knew a bunch of words - enough so that, if I concentrated for a day or two, I would have been able to count them - he became a kid who knew more words than I could easily count. It seems exponential and if he continues learning at this rate he'll know more words than me by the time he's Three. Luckily, I don't think that'll happen, but the change is really sudden.

The behavioural changes are a little more subtle. He throws more tantrums when he doesn't get what he wants, and the tantrums are more fierce. On the flip side he's a bit less clingy to Sanjay and I and is happier spending time with his grandparents and uncles and aunties. Sanjay's parents in particular seem to be getting so much joy out of the fact that he is now keen to play with them.

The eating thing is getting a bit easier for us too - we are getting more comfortable letting him choose not to eat - he still seems to sleep fine and he would eat if he was hungry. I realise that this is us getting our heads around it better, not really a change in him, but I've always known Asher's fussy eating is a problem for us rather than for him. Hopefully it will get even easier as the three of us work out exactly what is going to work for our little family.

Anyhow, happy new year to everyone, and I hope it brings peace and contentment.