I didn't think the Starbright, Meditations for Children book Elvira brought us today would cause quite so much difficult conversation with my 4 year old. When I pictured parenting a preschooler I expected to have to field questions about things like why the sky is blue (It's got something to do with, ah, reflection or refraction - lets look it up!) and where babies come from (they come from a mummies tummy! - How do they get in there? - Ah, well, ah, when a mummy and a daddy love each other very much and want to make a baby they, ah, well you've seen little plants grow from seeds? Well babies kind of grow from special seeds. Kind of) but Asher still surprises me. Not just difficult but doable questions like 'What is shift work' 'What is the government' and yesterday, driving through the rural fringes of Sydney, 'Is that a Tapir?' (it was a remarkably tapir shaped cow, for any punters out there who might be wondering) but tonight I needed to try and explain magic, guardian angels and what his imagination is!
I always try to answer Asher's questions simply and honestly, with appropriate depth and detail (I find the key is to answer the question he's really asking, without getting into details unless he asks further) because I feel that is the respectful way to address the genuine questions of a smart kid. And it appears that it's not just his parents and immediate family who think he's a bright kid. We spend a lot of time with some pretty exceptional preschoolers, so Asher seems bright and inquiring but relatively normal for his age but Asher's childcare teacher has noticed his facility with language and his literacy and numeracy skills and has suggested we get him assessed. We are somewhat ambivalent about this and cagey about having a preschooler labelled as 'gifted and talented' (or whatever) but it seems the benefits might outweigh our niggling reservations - we aren't overly happy with how things are at childcare and feel this might be the key to changing things for the better. We are going to ask what they are planning to do with the information with respect to looking after his 'special needs' with the follow-up question being why they aren't currently providing him with a more thought-out program.
So for now, send us sympathy. We need to try to answer all this smart little kid's difficult questions and give him with enough food for thought without overwhelming him. We want to provide for his thirst for knowledge without burying him under our expectations. Really, in the end, we just want the kid to be happy.
25/10/2010
09/10/2010
Kiran's Mundan: After
It was a good day. The ceremony, inside because of the threat of rain, went well - there were three pundits, fruit, chanting, fire, no shoes and Asher running around taking photos. The ceremony took a little over an hour and Kiz stayed pretty quiet throughout. I bribed him by shoving raisins in his mouth.
After the ceremony we shaved the little guy's head. My 'aunty' Margaret did the shave and Kiz stayed still and quiet. After the shave there was food and drink and lots of exhausting socialising. People were lovely and complimented me on my outfit (I gave credit to Tim and Jen who sent it from Singapore every time) and asked me if we were thinking of having more kids (it's unlikely we'll have more).
Now it's all over and I'm so tired I'm quivering. Kiz is asleep, Asher is staying out at Turramurra with his grandparents and I've finished the piece of toast I had for dinner. I'm going to leave the mess and slink off to bed as soon as I've finished my herbal tea.
After the ceremony we shaved the little guy's head. My 'aunty' Margaret did the shave and Kiz stayed still and quiet. After the shave there was food and drink and lots of exhausting socialising. People were lovely and complimented me on my outfit (I gave credit to Tim and Jen who sent it from Singapore every time) and asked me if we were thinking of having more kids (it's unlikely we'll have more).
Now it's all over and I'm so tired I'm quivering. Kiz is asleep, Asher is staying out at Turramurra with his grandparents and I've finished the piece of toast I had for dinner. I'm going to leave the mess and slink off to bed as soon as I've finished my herbal tea.
08/10/2010
Kiran's Mundan: Before
My baby is losing his hair tomorrow, and he'll no longer be a baby when it's gone. Tomorrow is Kiran's mundan where I (symbolically) lose a baby and gain a toddler. Considering he's almost certainly my last baby that's *it* for me in terms of parenting babies. Unsurprisingly I'm feeling a bit maudlin and nostalgic-in-advance (there's probably a word for that) about the next step in our journey as a family. I'm going to miss my baby and I'm going to miss the special joys of being a mother to a baby.
Tomorrow morning there will be a ceremony with the Pundit at my inlaws place. There will be a hundred or two guests. There will be lunch. Then there will be our little Kiran as a child, not a baby anymore. The next step is a tough one for me because I've always always found toddlers tough going - the neediness, the stickyness, the looniness - and it was only as I parented Asher that I realised that they also have their good points. They are hilarious, loving and watching them learn is better than watching TV because there is *always* something going on.
And so, family life moves on to the next stage. I'll put an update here or perhaps I'll only manage to put pictures up on Flickr.
Tomorrow morning there will be a ceremony with the Pundit at my inlaws place. There will be a hundred or two guests. There will be lunch. Then there will be our little Kiran as a child, not a baby anymore. The next step is a tough one for me because I've always always found toddlers tough going - the neediness, the stickyness, the looniness - and it was only as I parented Asher that I realised that they also have their good points. They are hilarious, loving and watching them learn is better than watching TV because there is *always* something going on.
And so, family life moves on to the next stage. I'll put an update here or perhaps I'll only manage to put pictures up on Flickr.
21/09/2010
They say a picture speaks a thousand words...
...and if that's true, then I'm still blogging, albeit in a slightly different format. Check out Flickr for the latest updates, leave a comment or two and I'll be back here to give a more wordy update within the next day or two.
05/05/2010
Past time for an Asher update
There's an aphorism that goes 'where the attention goes, the energy flows' and it's a principle which I feel has been active in our household recently. Because of the focus on getting the baby to sleep there hasn't been as much attention on Asher, and we're all suffering a little because of it. Asher's behaviour has been a bit ratty and he's been having trouble getting to sleep. So this post is all in honour of Asher and his amazing achievements.
Asher has never been one for drawing faces. I have tried to encourage drawing because it's something I loved as a child (and a big kid too!) but no dice. I thought it was *probably* because he's uncomfortable with the fact that his drawing don't come out the way they look in his head but I also worried that it might be a symptom of something else. Did he perhaps have underdeveloped fine motor skills? So this week when he said he wanted to write his name I wrote his name on the Magnadoodle for him to copy. The photo is of his first attempt. I was surprised and amazed by the result! His letters are really recognisable and his grip on the pen is reasonable. Reading and writing are some his favourite things.
His other obsession-of-the-moment is the zoo. He has a map of Taronga Zoo that he carries with him almost all the time and busily "does map referencing" looking at the symbols then turning the paper over to the map and looking for the coordinates and finding the symbol on the map. His pretend play centres around going to the zoo, looking at the animals and using the map to find his way around the zoo. All very cute.
Our other big development is that we have started night-time potty training. I went to the supermarket with Asher and we talked about pull-ups being for kids who were ready to wake up when they needed to do a wee in the night. He suggested we get some and we talked about putting them in his cupboard for when he thought his body would be ready. A few days later he came to me and told me he was ready to try the 'special pants' and he's been in them ever since. He's only had one wet pull-up in the week or ten days he's been using them. Rather impressive for a kid who had a very wet nappy most mornings. So much for a week or two of dry nappies as a marker of ready to be dry at night.
As well as the exciting developments there is also more of the same. A kid who manages to simultaneously have us in fits of laughter and drive me so mental I distract myself from losing my temper by composing ads for when I try to sell him on eBay. I love him.
In Kiran news: I got into Tresillian on a cancellation - we are going next week. Eeeep!
Asher has never been one for drawing faces. I have tried to encourage drawing because it's something I loved as a child (and a big kid too!) but no dice. I thought it was *probably* because he's uncomfortable with the fact that his drawing don't come out the way they look in his head but I also worried that it might be a symptom of something else. Did he perhaps have underdeveloped fine motor skills? So this week when he said he wanted to write his name I wrote his name on the Magnadoodle for him to copy. The photo is of his first attempt. I was surprised and amazed by the result! His letters are really recognisable and his grip on the pen is reasonable. Reading and writing are some his favourite things.
His other obsession-of-the-moment is the zoo. He has a map of Taronga Zoo that he carries with him almost all the time and busily "does map referencing" looking at the symbols then turning the paper over to the map and looking for the coordinates and finding the symbol on the map. His pretend play centres around going to the zoo, looking at the animals and using the map to find his way around the zoo. All very cute.
Our other big development is that we have started night-time potty training. I went to the supermarket with Asher and we talked about pull-ups being for kids who were ready to wake up when they needed to do a wee in the night. He suggested we get some and we talked about putting them in his cupboard for when he thought his body would be ready. A few days later he came to me and told me he was ready to try the 'special pants' and he's been in them ever since. He's only had one wet pull-up in the week or ten days he's been using them. Rather impressive for a kid who had a very wet nappy most mornings. So much for a week or two of dry nappies as a marker of ready to be dry at night.
As well as the exciting developments there is also more of the same. A kid who manages to simultaneously have us in fits of laughter and drive me so mental I distract myself from losing my temper by composing ads for when I try to sell him on eBay. I love him.
In Kiran news: I got into Tresillian on a cancellation - we are going next week. Eeeep!
21/04/2010
Time to call in the experts
I've done what I'd tell any of my friends to do, were they in my situation. I went and talked to my favourite nurse at the ECHC and I have a referal to Tresillian's residential program. The nurse also talked to my therapist and they have decided it's urgent and that I need to get in ASAP which means I'll get in on a cancellation.
I actually know what the problem is and what needs to be done, but I'm incapable of doing it. Kiz needs to learn to get to sleep without my nipple in his mouth, ideally by himself in his cot, and he needs to eat more food so that he doesn't get quite as hungry during the night. I need to stop feeding him between the hours of say, 11pm and 5am and he needs to be able to get back to sleep and stay asleep without indefinite screaming. Unfortunately I can't do this on my own. It's a tangled circular problem and I can't go in to help the poor little guy get back to sleep in the night, exhausted, wanting to do anything to get back to bed, smelling of comfort and his favourite food and expect a few pats to settle him. I can't imagine waking up with a hungry rumble in my tummy and ignoring the smell of toasting bread and bacon frying and I don't believe I can expect the equivelent from a baby.
I could do it, I could wait it out and cope through this period of next-to-no sleep but I'm not sure my sanity, my relationship with my husband would remain unscathed - in fact, I'm not even sure that my children would remain safe from harm with their mother this bone tired. Until we work this out and I get some more sleep I'm going to maintain my holding pattern, trying to get as much sleep as I can, feeding Kiz as much food during the day as I can and getting him to sleep the only way I can (breastfeeding him to sleep). I'm also instituting some of the suggestions from Elizabeth Pantley's book - today's job might be to sketch out a going-to-bed book, and we already attempt an hour of going to bed ritual time, I'm working on developing his relationship with his teddy and helping him to love his cot. Tonight I'm hoping for better than last night - seven wake ups in 11 hours and, like Aprill said, you gotta know when it's time to hire the experts.
I actually know what the problem is and what needs to be done, but I'm incapable of doing it. Kiz needs to learn to get to sleep without my nipple in his mouth, ideally by himself in his cot, and he needs to eat more food so that he doesn't get quite as hungry during the night. I need to stop feeding him between the hours of say, 11pm and 5am and he needs to be able to get back to sleep and stay asleep without indefinite screaming. Unfortunately I can't do this on my own. It's a tangled circular problem and I can't go in to help the poor little guy get back to sleep in the night, exhausted, wanting to do anything to get back to bed, smelling of comfort and his favourite food and expect a few pats to settle him. I can't imagine waking up with a hungry rumble in my tummy and ignoring the smell of toasting bread and bacon frying and I don't believe I can expect the equivelent from a baby.
I could do it, I could wait it out and cope through this period of next-to-no sleep but I'm not sure my sanity, my relationship with my husband would remain unscathed - in fact, I'm not even sure that my children would remain safe from harm with their mother this bone tired. Until we work this out and I get some more sleep I'm going to maintain my holding pattern, trying to get as much sleep as I can, feeding Kiz as much food during the day as I can and getting him to sleep the only way I can (breastfeeding him to sleep). I'm also instituting some of the suggestions from Elizabeth Pantley's book - today's job might be to sketch out a going-to-bed book, and we already attempt an hour of going to bed ritual time, I'm working on developing his relationship with his teddy and helping him to love his cot. Tonight I'm hoping for better than last night - seven wake ups in 11 hours and, like Aprill said, you gotta know when it's time to hire the experts.
16/04/2010
He's now been on the outside longer than he was on the inside
So, being the problem solver that I am, I've been thinking about why he doesn't eat and how I can help him eat a bit more food. I think at the beginning he didn't like the sensation of swallowing, because of the sense-memory of mucous and suction from when he was sick with whooping cough as a tiny baby. Now he's a bit older I think the reason he doesn't eat much is to do with his stubbornness. It's a bit freaky having power and control dramas with a kid under one - I had always associated that kind of thing with toddlers, with two-year-olds asserting their independance.Anyhow, the other day I plonked a bowl of weetbix down in front of him and let him at it. To my surprise he knew what to do with it. He stuck the spoon in the bowl and then in his mouth and then actually swallowed what went in his mouth, rather than spitting it straight out.
So I've just been running with that, letting him make as much mess as he wants, helping him out when he seems to want it. As soon as food starts coming out of his mouth again I wipe him off, wipe the highchair, wipe the floor, remind myself that there will be less wiping up one day and we do something else. At best he's eaten about 60ml (3 tablespoons) volume of food in a day (yesterday) which doesn't seem to be enough. I know a five-month-old who eats that much each meal. Hopefully soon it will start being more satisfying to him and he can get more of his calories during the day so he won't wake so much at night. And the No-Cry Sleep Solution will help me to get him to sleep better by himself and if it doesn't then we'll be off to Tresillian because I'm getting pretty close to the end of my tether here.
30/03/2010
Is love really colourblind? Is the easter bunny an athiest?
The things kids notice, and fail to notice, are really really weird. I've been reading the wonderful Peter's Cross Station and have been inspired to look for ways to talk to Asher about race so when Asher mentioned Trisha from his Play School DVD I saw my opportunity. We were at the cafe yesterday morning and he was talking about the DVD and I asked him what Trisha looked like. He replied that she wore a purple shirt, which is quite true, but not quite what I was expecting. I agreed that she did and then mentioned that her skin looked quite dark brown and asked him if he'd noticed. He said he hadn't so I then started chattering about how his daddy had dark brown skin too, and I had very light brown skin and he and Kiran have medium brown skin. I don't think I did particularly well, but at least I've broached the topic. He's barely noticing gender, so the fact that he doesn't notice 'race' isn't that surprising to me. I'd like him to hear about this stuff from us, rather than hear things of dubious veracity in the playground.
The other topic thats been on my mind a lot recently (particularly with all the chat about Richard Dawkins in the media) is kids and religion and, more specifically, lack of it and how that fits in with a childhood in a nominally Christian country. I'm an athiest and Sanjay is (he's lying on the couch and I just asked him) an agnostic. My parents are nominally Christian and Sanjay's parents are Hindu, or Sikh (the distinction is blurry to me) and I'd like my kids to understand their cultural heritage, but I'm not keen for them to be indoctrinated into a belief system. So, with all this in mind, when we walked past the local church on Sunday and Asher mentioned that there were a lot of people around I chirpily told him that the people had been in the church because it was Sunday, and that on Sunday people who were Christians sometimes went to church to pray to god. I reminded him that he had been to the Gurdwarra with his Grandpa Sham and told him that that's where Grandpa Sham went to pray. The poor kid didn't really understand what I was blathering on about and just said "Mm-hm" in an agreeable tone and that was that.
Luckily the Easter Bunny is about as religious as the Tooth Fairy (or Santa Claus, I guess) so we can get into the easter spirit with massive amounts of chocolate and perhaps sugar fuelled tantrums.
The other topic thats been on my mind a lot recently (particularly with all the chat about Richard Dawkins in the media) is kids and religion and, more specifically, lack of it and how that fits in with a childhood in a nominally Christian country. I'm an athiest and Sanjay is (he's lying on the couch and I just asked him) an agnostic. My parents are nominally Christian and Sanjay's parents are Hindu, or Sikh (the distinction is blurry to me) and I'd like my kids to understand their cultural heritage, but I'm not keen for them to be indoctrinated into a belief system. So, with all this in mind, when we walked past the local church on Sunday and Asher mentioned that there were a lot of people around I chirpily told him that the people had been in the church because it was Sunday, and that on Sunday people who were Christians sometimes went to church to pray to god. I reminded him that he had been to the Gurdwarra with his Grandpa Sham and told him that that's where Grandpa Sham went to pray. The poor kid didn't really understand what I was blathering on about and just said "Mm-hm" in an agreeable tone and that was that.
Luckily the Easter Bunny is about as religious as the Tooth Fairy (or Santa Claus, I guess) so we can get into the easter spirit with massive amounts of chocolate and perhaps sugar fuelled tantrums.
25/03/2010
Kiran update
At 5 days shy of 9 calendar months I've realised that the little Kiran is doing a few things that are new this week. The big one is the pointing finger. He presses buttons on Asher's toys with his pointing finger and he is just learning to pick up tiny things with pincer grip.
The pincer grip is really helpful, because the kid is still subsisting almost entirely on breastmilk and I'm hoping a newfound ability to pick up Cheerios will encourage him to eat more of them. Because he's a healthy, active baby he needs lots of food and because I don't pump milk, mostly because my milk seems to have problems with high lipase levels, the kid needs me around pretty much all the time (at the moment he feeds 3-4 hourly around the clock. Like a newborn). It would be revolutionary to be away from the little guy for 6 hours without worrying whether or not he'll consent to taking a bottle this time.
The other thing that's kinda new is that he has started cruising a bit more. He's been taking the very occasional steps while holding on to the couch but today I was lying on the couch and he came right up so he could blow raspberries in my face (and so, like any attuned mother I moved my cushion and changed ends. Kiz followed me up the other end).
Stay tuned for a post some time in the next week on how an athiest and a nominal Hindu handle Easter.
18/03/2010
Quote of the week
Scene: getting ready to go out to the park for a ride on the scooter
Sanjay: Asher, where is your scooter and helmet?
Asher: I assume they are in the garage
What sort of three-and-a-half year old 'assumes' things? He was right or course, the scooter and helmet were in the garage.
Sanjay: Asher, where is your scooter and helmet?
Asher: I assume they are in the garage
What sort of three-and-a-half year old 'assumes' things? He was right or course, the scooter and helmet were in the garage.
13/03/2010
Happy birthday Clare
For Clare's birthday mum compiled a book with twenty-one letters to Clare from some of the women in her life. She did the same for me for my 21st birthday and it's a lovely thing to have. For Clare, as for me, the sentiments are moving and some of the writing is hilarious. Because I think she is so great, and she is so important in my life I'd like to share my letter to her here:
Little Sister Clare,
I remember when you were born, slippery, blue and surprised. Left on your mother's belly for just a moment before you were whisked away so that the nurses could 'get you started' with a bit of oxygen and suction. I was still a child at the time but clearly saw what a miracle it was to have a new person arrive in the world. You grew into an incredibly sweet little thing, always thinking of others but still managing to do your own thing. The cutest example of your compassion is the time I found you, at around two years old, clutching a photo and sobbing inconsolably. You were looking at a photo of a howling baby Michael and you were sad for the baby.
As you grew into a child, then an adolescent, you continued to be sweet and compassionate, which didn't always make life easy for you. You were torn between doing things your own way and not hurting or even offending other people. And now you're becoming an adult, and I think you really have managed to maintain your integrity to hold on to a certain innocence. You live close to your ideals, you are incredibly caring and you are learning to protect yourself at the same time. You've managed this better than anyone I know, so I don't really have any advice or words of wisdom to share with you. Instead I'll give you three big-sisterly reminders:
- Look after your health - get a check up occasionally, eat healthily, wear sunscreen
- Value your friendships - look for the friends who bring out the best in you and then look after them. They will save you many times over.
- Ask for, and accept, help - this one can be tough. Asking for help without relinquishing independence, agency and personal responsibility is hard and when we need help is often the time it's hardest to ask for it.
I'm so incredibly proud of the person you are growing to be, I'm grateful for all the help you give me, both practical and emotional. I'm in awe of you and I feel smug and lucky that you are going to be a part of my life, and the lives of my children, for the foreseeable future.
Thank you.
03/03/2010
Asher and Kiran
First and foremost I want to say happy birthday to my lovely 21 year old sister Clare. I'm so proud of her and so thankfull for the way she rescues me on a regular basis (like yesterday - I have a sprained ankle and two kids to look after!) but I want to discuss that in more detail after our weekend away with her and the family.
Sanjay thinks this photo really sums up the way our kids are interacting at the moment. I agree - it makes my heart just melt! The protective big brother hand, the adoring, fascinated look from Kiz. This morning, when Asher and Sanjay left for Kindy and work Kiz cried and cried as they closed the door behind them because he loves following his big brother around so much.
Asher is as good with Kiran as I could have imagined. He's rarely rough with him, and when he is it's almost always done with love and it's just boisteroius play. Kizzy usually laughs like a maniac as his big brother crash tackles him. When Asher does get frustrated with the baby he generally yells rather than hits and as soon as I take Kiran away from his Duplo building/block tower/train tracks it is all OK again.
Kiz is crawling around like a crazy thing and into everything. He pulls himself to standing easily and this week, at 8 months, has started to take a few cruising steps along whatever he's holding on to. The little bear is still not eating much solid food, but these last few days I feel like we've turned a corner there too, with him being a bit more willing and interested. Asher and Kiran happily share a squeesy Vaalia yoghurt and last night Kiz was snatching noodles out of Sanjay's hands and eating them. I'm hoping the solid food thing picks up a bit because at the moment I'm pretty much breast feeding him 3 hourly 'round the clock which is exhausting for all of us (or maybe just for me?). I have certainly lost a fair bit of weight and I fit into all my pre-pregnancy pants (the breast feeding bosoms are another story, and I don't fit into many tops unfortunately) .
Kiz makes his needs known quite clearly. I was putting him to sleep the other night (I usually feed him to sleep. It works for us) and he de-latched, looked at me, and started to vocalise softly and sweetly. I worked out that he was asking for me to sing to him - I started softly singing and he went back to the breasfeed and fell asleep soon after. He also mimics us - he'll say 'gah!' when he wants to comment on something or wants to talk and then will copy me fairly succesfully when I say mum-mum-mum to him.
It's so exhausting at the moment, with lots of night time shenanigans, and so much lifting and carrying of baby K, but I'm so happy with how our two little ones are together.
Sanjay thinks this photo really sums up the way our kids are interacting at the moment. I agree - it makes my heart just melt! The protective big brother hand, the adoring, fascinated look from Kiz. This morning, when Asher and Sanjay left for Kindy and work Kiz cried and cried as they closed the door behind them because he loves following his big brother around so much.
Asher is as good with Kiran as I could have imagined. He's rarely rough with him, and when he is it's almost always done with love and it's just boisteroius play. Kizzy usually laughs like a maniac as his big brother crash tackles him. When Asher does get frustrated with the baby he generally yells rather than hits and as soon as I take Kiran away from his Duplo building/block tower/train tracks it is all OK again.
Kiz is crawling around like a crazy thing and into everything. He pulls himself to standing easily and this week, at 8 months, has started to take a few cruising steps along whatever he's holding on to. The little bear is still not eating much solid food, but these last few days I feel like we've turned a corner there too, with him being a bit more willing and interested. Asher and Kiran happily share a squeesy Vaalia yoghurt and last night Kiz was snatching noodles out of Sanjay's hands and eating them. I'm hoping the solid food thing picks up a bit because at the moment I'm pretty much breast feeding him 3 hourly 'round the clock which is exhausting for all of us (or maybe just for me?). I have certainly lost a fair bit of weight and I fit into all my pre-pregnancy pants (the breast feeding bosoms are another story, and I don't fit into many tops unfortunately) .
Kiz makes his needs known quite clearly. I was putting him to sleep the other night (I usually feed him to sleep. It works for us) and he de-latched, looked at me, and started to vocalise softly and sweetly. I worked out that he was asking for me to sing to him - I started softly singing and he went back to the breasfeed and fell asleep soon after. He also mimics us - he'll say 'gah!' when he wants to comment on something or wants to talk and then will copy me fairly succesfully when I say mum-mum-mum to him.
It's so exhausting at the moment, with lots of night time shenanigans, and so much lifting and carrying of baby K, but I'm so happy with how our two little ones are together.
20/02/2010
Parenting Angst
Ever since Asher was tiny I've always worried about whether we are parenting him 'right' although I have a little difficulty understanding what I mean by right. I just want him to grow up into a kind person who is reasonably sane. It's hard at the moment though. Asher is 3.5 and having tantrums and in other respects being age-appropriate and pressing all my buttons. Luckily I get to see him sleep sometimes and gaze at his face when it's at rest and wonder that we created this whole person who is growing into himself. I wonder if I'm going to get as frustrated with Kiran when he gets a bit older? Probably, and I'll appreciate a reminder me to gaze at his sleeping face and soak up the peacefulness.
14/02/2010
Where was I up to?
In the spirit of blog drought-breaking I offer you another status update style post.
Kiz got his first tooth last week and he (still) won't eat food off a spoon. After advice from various books and wise friends I've decided to not bother. I sit him in his highchair at least once a day and put food of some description in front of him. This might be soft bread, soft fruit, cooked veggies, tinned fruit or whatever is to hand that I think he won't choke on. The other day he sucked the middles out of about three home-grown cherry tomatoes and yesterday he sat on my lap and I fed him shreads of 'rice noodles with shrimp in thick egg sauce' that we were having (at a great Chinese dumpling place in Asherfield). I did try to pick the bits that weren't quite as covered in prawn-y egg sauce but I'm also confident now that he isn't going to have an anaphalactic reaction to eitehr prawns or egg because he must have ingested some.
Asher is every bit the three-and-a-half year old. He tries our patience daily and yet brings us more delight than I had imagined. He calls 100s and 1000s (sprinkles) 'twothousands' and has elaborate conversations about his imaginary friends. Beebee and Channa are friends while apparently Franj and Leego are customers. Often he tells us what they are having for dinner, or talks about Beebee's yellow car or Franj and Leego having five swimming pools at their place.
As I was lying next to Asher going to sleep last night he felt a little warm and sounded slighly snuffly and when I took his Temp it was about 38C so we stripped him down a bit but he seemed happy enough. He was a lot hotter at 4 or 5am but agina, his spirits were good, so I lay with him while he went back to sleep. This morning he's a bit snotty but cheerful, so we are off to Baby M's first birthday party.
Happy Chinese New Year everyone!
Kiz got his first tooth last week and he (still) won't eat food off a spoon. After advice from various books and wise friends I've decided to not bother. I sit him in his highchair at least once a day and put food of some description in front of him. This might be soft bread, soft fruit, cooked veggies, tinned fruit or whatever is to hand that I think he won't choke on. The other day he sucked the middles out of about three home-grown cherry tomatoes and yesterday he sat on my lap and I fed him shreads of 'rice noodles with shrimp in thick egg sauce' that we were having (at a great Chinese dumpling place in Asherfield). I did try to pick the bits that weren't quite as covered in prawn-y egg sauce but I'm also confident now that he isn't going to have an anaphalactic reaction to eitehr prawns or egg because he must have ingested some.
Asher is every bit the three-and-a-half year old. He tries our patience daily and yet brings us more delight than I had imagined. He calls 100s and 1000s (sprinkles) 'twothousands' and has elaborate conversations about his imaginary friends. Beebee and Channa are friends while apparently Franj and Leego are customers. Often he tells us what they are having for dinner, or talks about Beebee's yellow car or Franj and Leego having five swimming pools at their place.
As I was lying next to Asher going to sleep last night he felt a little warm and sounded slighly snuffly and when I took his Temp it was about 38C so we stripped him down a bit but he seemed happy enough. He was a lot hotter at 4 or 5am but agina, his spirits were good, so I lay with him while he went back to sleep. This morning he's a bit snotty but cheerful, so we are off to Baby M's first birthday party.
Happy Chinese New Year everyone!
03/02/2010
Drought breaker
Excuses are boring so I won't bother. I want to quickly note down a few recent Kiran milestones, while I'm procrastinating from the huge piles of work (paid and otherwise) that I really should be doing.
Kiran milestones:
Sitting independantly from around 6 months
First hands-and-knees crawl - 17th January (6.5 months)
Proper crawling - around the 26th of January I think (7 months)
First tooth - 1st Feburary (7 months)
Sleeping through - Hahahahaha. He's waking up and eating a LOT. I'm exhausted!
More later.
Kiran milestones:
Sitting independantly from around 6 months
First hands-and-knees crawl - 17th January (6.5 months)
Proper crawling - around the 26th of January I think (7 months)
First tooth - 1st Feburary (7 months)
Sleeping through - Hahahahaha. He's waking up and eating a LOT. I'm exhausted!
More later.
25/10/2009
Asher's Bedtime Story
The evening routine is pretty arduous here at the moment. After a week of evening stuff happening (friend's birthday dinners, Diwali, etc) Asher hasn't been going to sleep til around 9pm and it's taking it's toll. Particularly the two nights last week where Sanj wasn't home - all I wanted was to get the kid to sleep so I could sit down with the TV and a glass of wine. Anyhow, a new evening routine is emerging. Bath, dinner, desert (often a smoothy, a.k.a shaky), teeth, toilet, night nappy, books, story then sleep. I've been keeping Kiran in with us while I read books, then telling the same story that Asher always asks for: the hare and the tortoise. Yesterday he asked me if I wanted him to tell me the princess story and, not having told him any stories with princesses I was very interested. It went something like this:
Tonight's story had a "really big puffer fish" a shark and a golden seagull, but I couldn't follow it enough to write it down. I really love the blend of inventiveness and the everyday - his stories remind me of the tales Tim used to tell as a similar age. He had a whole series about a sausage who lived in a biscuit tin!
Once upon a time the princess forgot her glass shoe. She left it on the step. But it was broken, so she took it inside and put it in the bin and it made a big noise. A really big noise. And then they lived happily ever after.
Tonight's story had a "really big puffer fish" a shark and a golden seagull, but I couldn't follow it enough to write it down. I really love the blend of inventiveness and the everyday - his stories remind me of the tales Tim used to tell as a similar age. He had a whole series about a sausage who lived in a biscuit tin!
23/10/2009
I think I'm ready to Move On
Nah, not giving up blogging, getting divorced or quitting my job, just ready to get the worm farm going again. Back at our old house we had a worm farm for a while. It lived on our balcony for a bit then, during summer when we had no shade for it, we moved it to the garage. Sometime during that hot summer all our worms died. The cause, I'm pretty sure, was dehydration. I felt so bad about it that I couldn't even look at the damn worm farm for ages - those little wrigglies were in my care and I LET THEM DIE! Ugh. I still feel bad about it. Luckily their decomposed little bodies went into the garden when we moved house. So, that was maybe three years ago now and I think I'm ready to start again. I've located the plastic worm farm tubs we had (they were sent to my mothers' garage because I couldn't face looking at them) and they are being delivered next week. I'm back to checking out vermicomposting sites and forums (I learnt heaps from them last time, the hottest tip was to leave a light on for the first few nights so they don't all try and escape from your worm farm - it worked a treat) and planning where it's going to live (just outside the apartment on the kitchen side. Must get a piece of old carpet to put over them to protect them from the summer sun. Wetting it down will be like aircon for the little fellas). Wish me luck - I'll report back when I have something to actually report.
Also, for future reference, do not put metal things in the microwave. Even if that metal is just a tiny bit of aluminium on the top of a bottle from the bottom of the crown seal. If you do you will scare yourself so much that you aren't quite sure whether you got an electric shock turning the microwave off because you are so freaked, wired and jumpy. You would think that was something I wouldn't have needed to learn the hard way, wouldn't you?
Also, for future reference, do not put metal things in the microwave. Even if that metal is just a tiny bit of aluminium on the top of a bottle from the bottom of the crown seal. If you do you will scare yourself so much that you aren't quite sure whether you got an electric shock turning the microwave off because you are so freaked, wired and jumpy. You would think that was something I wouldn't have needed to learn the hard way, wouldn't you?
21/10/2009
Finger lickin' good?
So, I didn't manage to get the neighbours over for cake - I cooked delicious little pear cakes but when I went over they weren't home. I could have prevented this problem by inviting them before I wanted them to actually come over, but embarrassingly I was too shy. Ugh. Maybe this weekend...
Our little Kiz has found his fingers in a big way. He loves them! He loves having such fun wriggly things tangling themselves up in his mouth (they probably taste sweaty too!) and he delights in the wet slurping that he can feel from the hand end. So much fun! He's also started getting into having toys about. I use the term 'toys' quite loosely - anything that he can grab at and perhaps get to his mouth. The favourite would be the play gym thing that we got for Asher at a similar age but really anything that stays in his hands reasonably well will do. Asher is still really lovely with him and roll-plays lots with his baby doll. I don't think I have anything to worry about in the jealousy department until Kiran gets mobile and starts wanting to play with whatever Asher has in his hands. That will be interesting.
Our little Kiz has found his fingers in a big way. He loves them! He loves having such fun wriggly things tangling themselves up in his mouth (they probably taste sweaty too!) and he delights in the wet slurping that he can feel from the hand end. So much fun! He's also started getting into having toys about. I use the term 'toys' quite loosely - anything that he can grab at and perhaps get to his mouth. The favourite would be the play gym thing that we got for Asher at a similar age but really anything that stays in his hands reasonably well will do. Asher is still really lovely with him and roll-plays lots with his baby doll. I don't think I have anything to worry about in the jealousy department until Kiran gets mobile and starts wanting to play with whatever Asher has in his hands. That will be interesting.
09/10/2009
Status Update
A few days ago, it must have been Tuesday, I was pottering around the house and heard what sounded to me like our neighbors moving house. I was dissapointed and angry at myself for not inviting them around - they brought us cake when we moved in, flowers at Kiran's birth and have been just lovely but we haven't got around to having them over. The next day I realised that it was the neighbors on the other side, who we don't know at all, who may have been moving - it certainly wasn't the lovely people from number 46! So, realising that I was really angry at myself for not making an effort I decided that this weekend we would invite them over for cake in the afternoon. I am generally really crap with my good intentions - all plan, no follow-through so I'm putting it our here so I do it.
Anyone who isn't interested in micro-detail regarding my kids can stop reading now!
Last week, at three months and one day Kiran flung himself over (front-to-back) he's also noticably turned from an air breathing foetus into a baby - he's more alert, he sleeps for longer stretches and he startles more easily. He also smiles whenever anyone talks to him and vocalises lovely little magpie noises, which are sometimes quite loud and assertive, when he has something important to say. I'm sad to say I've only just noticed him sleeping for longer stretches during the day because it's only this week that I have put him down for a morning sleep in his bed, rather than getting him up and carting him all over the place. I think I'm going to have to have more at-home time built into our week to let the poor kid sleep a bit more. Poor second child!
Watching him find his hands and be able to get them (and sometimes whatever they are holding, if he's lucky) into his mouth has been lovely - first he waves both hands about and then, when they find each other he clings on for dear life, you can almost see the knuckles going white with the effort. Then he brings them up to his mouth and fits as much of the 'double fist' in as he can. Once they are in there he anjoys the dual sensation - the feel of the cool fingery things writhing around in his mouth and the lovely warm sucking sensation that he feels radiating up from the ends of his arms. He can amuse himself this way for significant periods of time now, allowing me to potter about and get a few things done.
Asher is also coming along in leaps and bounds - I think I mentioned that he can use cutlery, holding his fork still while he cuts with his knife? Well, the other day he also surprised me by peddalling his trike around the back deck. This doesn't seem like much of an achievement for a three year old, but the erganomics (is that the right word?) of the trike are such that it actually looks really difficult to pedal - he needs both co-ordination and quite a lot of strength. After having a go on another kid's learner bike (with training wheels) he came home and could suddenly manage his own trike. He's also been being really good (sporadically). Tuesday we spent a lot of time together at home without anyone else around which is often a recipe for both of us to get irritated, but there wasn't so much as a raised voise all day! And by the time Sanj got home both kids were bathed! I'm kinda proud of both of us for that!
Anyone who isn't interested in micro-detail regarding my kids can stop reading now!
Last week, at three months and one day Kiran flung himself over (front-to-back) he's also noticably turned from an air breathing foetus into a baby - he's more alert, he sleeps for longer stretches and he startles more easily. He also smiles whenever anyone talks to him and vocalises lovely little magpie noises, which are sometimes quite loud and assertive, when he has something important to say. I'm sad to say I've only just noticed him sleeping for longer stretches during the day because it's only this week that I have put him down for a morning sleep in his bed, rather than getting him up and carting him all over the place. I think I'm going to have to have more at-home time built into our week to let the poor kid sleep a bit more. Poor second child!
Watching him find his hands and be able to get them (and sometimes whatever they are holding, if he's lucky) into his mouth has been lovely - first he waves both hands about and then, when they find each other he clings on for dear life, you can almost see the knuckles going white with the effort. Then he brings them up to his mouth and fits as much of the 'double fist' in as he can. Once they are in there he anjoys the dual sensation - the feel of the cool fingery things writhing around in his mouth and the lovely warm sucking sensation that he feels radiating up from the ends of his arms. He can amuse himself this way for significant periods of time now, allowing me to potter about and get a few things done.
Asher is also coming along in leaps and bounds - I think I mentioned that he can use cutlery, holding his fork still while he cuts with his knife? Well, the other day he also surprised me by peddalling his trike around the back deck. This doesn't seem like much of an achievement for a three year old, but the erganomics (is that the right word?) of the trike are such that it actually looks really difficult to pedal - he needs both co-ordination and quite a lot of strength. After having a go on another kid's learner bike (with training wheels) he came home and could suddenly manage his own trike. He's also been being really good (sporadically). Tuesday we spent a lot of time together at home without anyone else around which is often a recipe for both of us to get irritated, but there wasn't so much as a raised voise all day! And by the time Sanj got home both kids were bathed! I'm kinda proud of both of us for that!
04/10/2009
Singapore Trip roundup
Flight over:
Possibly for the first time ever both Sanjay and I were ready almost half an hour before we needed to leave. It was only because we had the time wrong and the minibus was due half an hour after we thought it was coming. So we, with kids and luggage, was ready and waiting when the minibus arrived. We then went and picked up Emma, Brendan and baby Maddie and headed off to the airport.
The flight was easier than expected. I was all super-mum prepared with little surprises for Asher in labelled brown paper bags (clever internet people suggest wrapped gifts, I'm not super-mum enough to wrap things, but I can arrange brown paper bags and some sticky tape) and NOT ONE of my carefully prepared treats got used. To help keep the kids ears from hurting we gave Asher a lollipop on take-off which he was only allowed to open when we were in the air and Emma and I breastfed the babies as soon as we felt the urge to pop our own ears. I had made the mistake previously of taking the suggestion to breastfeed 'on take-off' too literally and I wasn't caught out this time.
We landed in Singapore about 8:30 and there was a driver waiting for us who took us to Tim and Jen's place while the others went to their hotel. Asher went straight to sleep while we had a gin and tonic before heading to bed.
Sunday
We all got up early and met Emma, Brenden and Maddie at Singapore Zoo and had 'Breakfast with the Orang Utans' which was just awesome. Big hotel-style buffet breakfast with the Orang Utans sitting only metres away, with a talk about the animals and a photo op. We spent the rest of the morning at the zoo and we were all really impressed, despite being regular visitors to Taronga - the animals look happy and well cared for (lots of interesting things for them to play with, like Taronga) but the really cool part was how well the enclosures were designed, making me feel like I was walking through the jungle encountering animals.
After the zoo we were all tired and hungry and caught taxis to a nearby Indian place that Tim and Jen have eaten at before (delicious!) before heading back to the apartment(/hotel for the others) for a rest and a shower before heading out for Chilli Crab.
Monday
Monday was a public holiday in Singapore so Tim had the day off. Since Kiran had suffered a bit in the heat the day before I wanted to hit one of the big air conditioned malls that Singapore is famous for. We went to one that specialised in kids things and browsed while Tim and Jen took Asher off for a play in a big toy shop and a haircut!
In the afternoon we went to a place not far from Tim and Jen's apartment that has big tanks where one can hire a rod and fish for prawns. But that was just a side-attraction for us - we went for the 'toothless fish foot spa' where you put your feet in large tiled tanks and little fish come and nibble off the dead skin. It was hard going getting our feet in and watching the tiny fish chomp away but once they were in, if you stopped thinking about it, it was OK. There was no doubt that our feet and lower legs felt smoother afterwards.
In the later afternoon we went and had a sunset cruise on the river and took a walk near the Merlion and the 'Durian' on our way to Gluttons Bay for dinner. Unfortunately it started to rain so instead of going to Glutton's Bay we ended up going to a rather touristy pizza place. Nice pizza, beer and best of all Asher came and snuggled onto my lap and went to sleep. Because the kids were all asleep we went back to Emma and Brendan's hotel room so Emma and I could take Jen for a drink. The boys stayed with the kids and had a drink on the balcony (or would have, if baby Maddie had been more settled).
Tuesday
Our last full day in Singapore. breakfast at a the hawker centre near Tim and Jen's place, then an attempt at Orchard Rd shopping. Asher wasn't really into this idea and for the first time during the trip started to drive me crazy so Jen and I headed toward little India with Kirin (via Starbucks and some more browsing on Orchard Rd) and Sanj took Asher back to the apartment (via a wine shop). We ended up looking at gold in the Mustafa centre for a bit but having to head back before buying anything or getting to Little India proper. On Tuesday night we packed and then Tim and Jen prepared a lovely dinner at home for all of us.
Wednesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday
We headed to the ferry terminal early Wednesday morning for the boat to Bintan Island Club Med. Jen had helped us get a really good deal and it turned out to be a really awesome experience. Club Med are, perhaps obviously, really well set up for kids. If you book with a baby you get 'baby toiletries' (powder and baby oil) in your room along with a cot, sterilizer and baby bath. Because we had a preschooler as well we had an adjoining room for the little ones.
We spent the next few days jumping in the pool, hanging out at the beach bar, going for a kayak, drinking iced coffee in the panorama bar (the one with a view), sitting beside the pool drinking mocktails/cocktails, eating gigantic buffet breakfast/lunch/dinner, getting a massage and lounging in our rooms (in the aircon) reading.
Asher spent two afternoons at kids club (Petite Club Med for 2-4 year olds) which we sold to him as 'holiday kindy' and therefore, just like regular kindy, something that's just gotta happen. He cried a bit when Sanj left him the first day, but was a lot better the second day - which means the experience can't have been too bad.
All too soon it was time for the ferry back to Singapore, a visit to some family friends and then a night at the very lovely airport hotel for our 5am check in the next day.
Flight home
Again, apart from the 5am check in check in, the trip home was perfect. Asher was a better behaved than anyone can reasonably expect from a three year old on a seven hour flight - he sat quietly in his seat and listened to music, stuck stickers in his sticker book and played 'memory' with Sanjay. When we got home my brother Michael had cleaned up and brought supplies and after a quick dinner and a load of washing we all went to bed early, thinking what a fabulous trip we'd had.
We would happily travel with Emma, Brendan and Maddie again and we would all love to go to Club Med again. Singapore was also more interesting than expected and we really needed another two days there at least - to see Singapore and to hang out with Tim and Jen a bit more (I was sad I didn't get to have a beer and a chat with Tim - whenever we were together he was wrangling Asher!).
(more photos, of course, on Flickr)
Possibly for the first time ever both Sanjay and I were ready almost half an hour before we needed to leave. It was only because we had the time wrong and the minibus was due half an hour after we thought it was coming. So we, with kids and luggage, was ready and waiting when the minibus arrived. We then went and picked up Emma, Brendan and baby Maddie and headed off to the airport.
The flight was easier than expected. I was all super-mum prepared with little surprises for Asher in labelled brown paper bags (clever internet people suggest wrapped gifts, I'm not super-mum enough to wrap things, but I can arrange brown paper bags and some sticky tape) and NOT ONE of my carefully prepared treats got used. To help keep the kids ears from hurting we gave Asher a lollipop on take-off which he was only allowed to open when we were in the air and Emma and I breastfed the babies as soon as we felt the urge to pop our own ears. I had made the mistake previously of taking the suggestion to breastfeed 'on take-off' too literally and I wasn't caught out this time.
We landed in Singapore about 8:30 and there was a driver waiting for us who took us to Tim and Jen's place while the others went to their hotel. Asher went straight to sleep while we had a gin and tonic before heading to bed.
Sunday
We all got up early and met Emma, Brenden and Maddie at Singapore Zoo and had 'Breakfast with the Orang Utans' which was just awesome. Big hotel-style buffet breakfast with the Orang Utans sitting only metres away, with a talk about the animals and a photo op. We spent the rest of the morning at the zoo and we were all really impressed, despite being regular visitors to Taronga - the animals look happy and well cared for (lots of interesting things for them to play with, like Taronga) but the really cool part was how well the enclosures were designed, making me feel like I was walking through the jungle encountering animals.
After the zoo we were all tired and hungry and caught taxis to a nearby Indian place that Tim and Jen have eaten at before (delicious!) before heading back to the apartment(/hotel for the others) for a rest and a shower before heading out for Chilli Crab.
Monday
Monday was a public holiday in Singapore so Tim had the day off. Since Kiran had suffered a bit in the heat the day before I wanted to hit one of the big air conditioned malls that Singapore is famous for. We went to one that specialised in kids things and browsed while Tim and Jen took Asher off for a play in a big toy shop and a haircut!
In the afternoon we went to a place not far from Tim and Jen's apartment that has big tanks where one can hire a rod and fish for prawns. But that was just a side-attraction for us - we went for the 'toothless fish foot spa' where you put your feet in large tiled tanks and little fish come and nibble off the dead skin. It was hard going getting our feet in and watching the tiny fish chomp away but once they were in, if you stopped thinking about it, it was OK. There was no doubt that our feet and lower legs felt smoother afterwards.
In the later afternoon we went and had a sunset cruise on the river and took a walk near the Merlion and the 'Durian' on our way to Gluttons Bay for dinner. Unfortunately it started to rain so instead of going to Glutton's Bay we ended up going to a rather touristy pizza place. Nice pizza, beer and best of all Asher came and snuggled onto my lap and went to sleep. Because the kids were all asleep we went back to Emma and Brendan's hotel room so Emma and I could take Jen for a drink. The boys stayed with the kids and had a drink on the balcony (or would have, if baby Maddie had been more settled).
Tuesday
Our last full day in Singapore. breakfast at a the hawker centre near Tim and Jen's place, then an attempt at Orchard Rd shopping. Asher wasn't really into this idea and for the first time during the trip started to drive me crazy so Jen and I headed toward little India with Kirin (via Starbucks and some more browsing on Orchard Rd) and Sanj took Asher back to the apartment (via a wine shop). We ended up looking at gold in the Mustafa centre for a bit but having to head back before buying anything or getting to Little India proper. On Tuesday night we packed and then Tim and Jen prepared a lovely dinner at home for all of us.
Wednesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday
We headed to the ferry terminal early Wednesday morning for the boat to Bintan Island Club Med. Jen had helped us get a really good deal and it turned out to be a really awesome experience. Club Med are, perhaps obviously, really well set up for kids. If you book with a baby you get 'baby toiletries' (powder and baby oil) in your room along with a cot, sterilizer and baby bath. Because we had a preschooler as well we had an adjoining room for the little ones.
We spent the next few days jumping in the pool, hanging out at the beach bar, going for a kayak, drinking iced coffee in the panorama bar (the one with a view), sitting beside the pool drinking mocktails/cocktails, eating gigantic buffet breakfast/lunch/dinner, getting a massage and lounging in our rooms (in the aircon) reading.
Asher spent two afternoons at kids club (Petite Club Med for 2-4 year olds) which we sold to him as 'holiday kindy' and therefore, just like regular kindy, something that's just gotta happen. He cried a bit when Sanj left him the first day, but was a lot better the second day - which means the experience can't have been too bad.
All too soon it was time for the ferry back to Singapore, a visit to some family friends and then a night at the very lovely airport hotel for our 5am check in the next day.
Flight home
Again, apart from the 5am check in check in, the trip home was perfect. Asher was a better behaved than anyone can reasonably expect from a three year old on a seven hour flight - he sat quietly in his seat and listened to music, stuck stickers in his sticker book and played 'memory' with Sanjay. When we got home my brother Michael had cleaned up and brought supplies and after a quick dinner and a load of washing we all went to bed early, thinking what a fabulous trip we'd had.
We would happily travel with Emma, Brendan and Maddie again and we would all love to go to Club Med again. Singapore was also more interesting than expected and we really needed another two days there at least - to see Singapore and to hang out with Tim and Jen a bit more (I was sad I didn't get to have a beer and a chat with Tim - whenever we were together he was wrangling Asher!).
(more photos, of course, on Flickr)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)