Where my wasted time becomes your wasted time...

So, I drop by this blog quite regularly and get a chuckle, or find something thoughtful and this is what I found today:

Doodle by Lee.

It's not even particularly relevant as I sit hear listening to the rain on what might be Sydney's coldest day this winter.

I was about to post links to some of the other blogs that I've been reading lately but I just got a call and friends are on their way over so I'll leave you with the two that I'm currently most obsessed with:
Anti-racist parent is not only for families like ours which include multiple ethnicities. It's a discussion of how we can bring our children up to be anti-racists (no, not colourblind, not post-race but anti-racist).
Leelo and his Potty-Mouthed Mom is the blog of a woman who has three kids, one of them autistic. The love and humour shine through her writing and she gives us a little window onto her busy life. I've been reading it for ages and enjoy how much she gives of herself.

I had better update that link list really soon too, because there's lots more good stuff I want to share!

Overdue Update

Well, our houseguest Ciaran, the lovely Irish cousin has left on Monday, Asher is in bed singing himself to sleep and Sanj is out at a farewell dinner, so I will ignore the housework and provide a quick update.

Still no job for Sanj, but I'm pleased to report that he has already had an interview and been asked back for a second interview. The bad news is that if he gets this job it will be less $$ and he won't have any time off between jobs (no tropical get-away for us!). The good news is that he will be employed (duh!) and that it's a job that would give him really good experience. At present he doesn't have any sales experience and he knows more about Aussie wine than overseas wine so this job selling boutique overseas brands would really fill a knowledge/experience gap. I won't say anymore about it now, as he hasn't got an offer and we don't want to jinx things.

Asher is still going to 'Kindy' (childcare) on Wednesdays and Thursdays and doesn't seem to really be settling in much. I'm still not overjoyed about the whole situation - far more conflicted than I ever thought I would be before I had kids. I think I might make some time to talk to the director about the fact that there the room Asher is in still has only one permanent staff member and one casual because that's not helping my state of mind and it's something that concrete that I can address.

Apart from that though, he's doing so well! He was up til 9 at night a few times while Ciaran was staying with us without melting down and his language is really coming along with 4, 5 and even 6 word strings becoming more common. (to say they were sentences might be pushing it. They don't always have verbs, but it's usually easy to work out what he wants). He's also starting to have little conversations with his tiny mates. Megan heard one the other day when both boys were in the car:

M: My pants - star!

A (looking at the red star on Miles pants): Yellow star?

M: Red star!

A: Yes.

He loves being chased around the house or park by one of us, calling out "Chase 'im!" as he runs away, because that's what we do. His favourite food is probably olives (pasta with olives and melted cheese is a favourite dinner). He knows I drink cappuccinos while Sanjay drinks flat whites. He loves all his grandparents, aunties and uncles and refers to them by name. He loves trains and buses, loves spotting them and getting to have a ride on them and he can spend ages playing with his trains (a mixed bag of Ikea and Thomas and Brio), either by himself or with a friend or one of us.

As for me, well, apart from being pretty torn about having Asher in childcare, I'm really happy! Life is more balanced than it's ever been for me - I'm enjoying work, where I'm learning about training and the VET sector, I'm about to get some training in a learning management system called Moodle and hopefully at some point in the future I'll be able to pull this new knowledge together with my previous experience, and create a new career for myself. As well as enjoying work I'm getting to see enough of my family and now it's time to work on connecting with some old friends who I've neglected a bit in the rush of daily life.

Of course, since everything is so smooth I'm trying to make life difficult for myself by getting a severe case of wanderlust. I think it's a combination of having Ciaran around for a while and talking with him about his travels, reading books like Bill Bryson's Notes on a Small Island and Salman Rushdie's Enchantress of Florence (both excellent!) and just having life travel smoothly by. I'm just going to have to deal though, coz I can't see us going anywhere past Port Macquarie for a long, long time.

Time for a change....

Well, it's happened. Sanjay, along with about 30 of his colleagues, were made redundant late last week. It's a bit of a surprise but really couldn't have happened at a better time - I am working, our mortgage is manageable, I'm not pregnant* and Sanj has been talking about making a change sooner rather than later. Anyway, I've been thinking and I think that basically the pros and cons go like this:

• Pros: A severance package (!), it forces the change that he's been talking about and a 'career management' package from Hudson.
• Cons: Holy fuck, we have a kid and a mortgage and only one poorly-paying, part-time job between us.

So, on balance things should be fine, right? Please send any well-paying, Sydney-based wine education jobs with great companies this way...


*I'm not pregnant and I don't want to be. Don't get any ideas.

Emerging Grammar

I was crowing the other day about how Asher seemed to have worked out that there was such a thing as grammar in language. We were at the zoo and Asher told me he had 'seed' the giraffes. As soon as he said it I was all excited - just like I was waiting for his first four-word sentence I was waiting to see when he would get that there was such a thing as grammar. Up until now if he used any kind of grammar (tenses etc) I couldn't be sure whether he was copying words he'd heard but hearing him make a mistake when applying a rule (in this case not using the exception) means that he's worked out that there are such things as rules to make tenses.

It didn't occur to me until several days later (when I was boring Elvira with my excitement) that many people would just correct the kid an not think anymore about it, but for me the way little kids acquire language and all it's complex rules and exceptions is nothing short of miraculous, and I feel so lucky to be able to watch it in my boy and his little friends.



The picture is of Asher and my cousin Ciaran at the zoo. Ciaran was trying to take photos of the giraffes with the harbour and city skyline in the background and Asher wanted to help. Ciaran was really lovely with him, endlessly patient with Asher's camera obsession and letting Asher fill the entire CF card with wonky images.

Yet Another Snotty Cold

This is really getting too much! I've been dutifully taking my echinacea and drinking my 'cold and flu' herb tea but again I'm stuck sneezing and snotty while my nostrils get sore from the constant wiping. I had planned to write a rundown of Asher's birthday, and how I feel about my baby being 2 but I just can't find it in me. Instead I'll just post a photo of my little boy blowing out the candle on his birthday cake. I apologise to him for not being able to find the birthday candles and hope he'll forgive me for using a tea light candle. You will also note that it's not really a kids birthday cake - well that's because this is the last year in a long time that I will be able to get away with making a rather adult cake (It's Nigella Lawson's 'Easy Almond Cake' from Domestic Goddess). And for the party on Saturday I'm making a number two cake.

Another milestone. And this time I'm not excited about it.

This one isn't so good though! A few weeks ago, maybe a month, Asher got bitten by one of the other kids. She sank her teeth into his shoulder, through jumper and t-shirt and still managed to give him a bruise. Today Asher gave another kid a serious bite - unfortunately that kid was Miles, and today is his birthday! No one saw what happened - the kids were playing behind a cubby house - and Miles started to cry in a way that I haven't heard very often. Not only was he obviously in pain, but he sounded kind of shocked that anyone could do such a thing. Asher came straight over to me and I asked him if he needed to apologise to Miles. He told me 'yes' and we went over and gave Miles an apologetic pat. Because no one had seen what happened I didn't feel like I could get really stuck into the discipline but I felt awful. The teeth marks were really deep and up near the third knuckle on Miles right hand. I'm just pleased the bite didn't break the skin! I really hope this was a one off and not the start of a biting phase - particularly the first week Asher starts at childcare!

Anyhow, Happy birthday little Miles! I hope you grow from being a strong and happy toddler to being a strong and happy boy, and later a strong and happy man. You are truly lucky to have a mum who will support you and guide you on your journey. I hope you will continue to be a great friend and protector to Asher and that you and your little mates will have many years of enjoying cake together!

The Childcare Conundrum

Well, I'm all twisted up about the childcare situation again (still?). We went in this morning again to hang out and get Asher used to the place and it didn't go that well. The director was away again (she was away on Monday when we went) but this time there was a replacement, which is a good sign. When we went into the room however, the carer, A, was reading a story to the kids. She's a nice woman but her first language isn't English and she's not a natural story-reader. There was a another young woman there who I assume was a casual, filling in for the staff member who left recently. I described her to Sanjay on the phone as 'breathing meat' because she just sat there, and didn't seem to be listening to the story, and she didn't join in the singing afterwards (I did!) and as the morning progressed she barely interacted with any of the kids. I've also realised that there has been very little smiling or laughing going on amongst the children which adds to the sick-to-the-stomach anxiety I'm feeling.

I really don't know whether I should plow on despite my misgivings or pull the plug on the whole thing immediately. I really can't tell if I'm uncertain about it because the centre and the care isn't up to scratch, or simply because it's a big change and my baby is growing up and beginning to have a life separate from me. Normally I'm pretty good at separating my headcake from external reality (or I like to think I am, anyway!) but in this situation, where 'gut feel' is the best way to work out if this centre is right for us, I'm feeling really lost.

~~~~~~~~~~~

And now, on a completely different note, I'd like to wish little Audrey a very happy second birthday:



...I'd also like to congratulate Karen on surviving two years as a mum, and doing such a good job at it too! Thanks for being a great Aunty to Asher and a good friend for me!

ch-ch-ch-changes

Well, he hasn't escaped from his cot again, but he did pile his blanket, baby and 'hound' up in the corner of the cot and get the picture off the wall, complete with hook, the other day. Thankfully it was a canvas so there was no broken frame/glass/toddler involved (and thankfully the canvas survived too!).

The 'twins' enjoying a milkshake after a run at the park. I got enough time to drink my coffee in a civilized manner!

He is growing up in other ways though. I have really been enjoying my day a week doing paid work and so we started putting our names on waiting lists at local childcare centres. In a perfect world I'd prefer to continue with our arrangement and have Megan look after Asher, but it isn't going to be practical for any of us now (which breaks my heart a little bit). Megan has made the decision to move back with her mum for a bit, for all sorts of difficult personal reasons, and although I'm going to miss her terribly I know she's only 25 minutes away, and if I use chocolate as bait she'll probably still come and visit me and bring some sanity on cranky-kid afternoons. I've learnt so much about dealing with toddlers and keeping me sane and them happy from her and I'm not sure that would have happened if she hadn't been only five minutes stroll away and happy to hang out with us. The boys will also miss our impromptu trips to the park and general hanging out but I'm quietly confident that we'll still see them a fair amount. On a really positive note her move has been the straw that broke the camels back on the driving front and I've had my first lesson and booked in for my second. One practise driving hour down, one-hundred-and-nineteen to go before I'm legally allowed to drive by myself.


Anyhow, this isn't a perfect world and not everybody's life revolves around Asher, so childcare it is. We got lucky and were offered a place at a local childcare centre* and, after having me visit, then Sanjay visit, we're taking the place. I wanted just to put him in on Wednesdays, while I work, but they only take kids for two-or-more days a week (because the kids settle in better), so Asher will be going along on Wednesday and Thursday. He will be starting on the 25th of June, the day before his second birthday and I will pick up an extra day at work so I will be doing paid work on both days. Between now and when he starts we get to go in there as much as we like for orientation. This morning we went at about 10:45 and left around midday - Asher got to have a play inside, eat lunch then play outside and we left as all the other kids were going to get on their little stretcher beds and go to sleep. After he got the hang of being there he did really well, following the other kids when it was time to go for lunch, sitting and eating at the table, putting his bowl and spoon in the right place when he had finished his meal, etc. I think the structure and routine of childcare will really suit Asher, and after the inevitable teething problems I think we'll it'll be OK. It still won't be the same care that we give him but I'm pretty sure we're not going to break him by putting him in good quality care two days a week, and I want to review the whole situation a month or two after he starts.





* I was about to name the childcare centre and include a link, but I figured I might want to keep it private. Perhaps I'll need to vent about them here at some later stage and I don't want to get sued for defamation!

Oh shit!

I put Asher into his cot for his daytime snooze about two an hours ago, with a song and a cuddle as I usually do. I could hear that he wasn't asleep, but I ate some lunch and then was cleaning the bathrooms (not playing around on Facebook or reading forums, really) when I heard sounds coming from what sounded like just behind Asher's door. I ve-r-y quietly opened the door a crack and saw him sitting, with his back almost against the door, playing with his toys.

HE CAN GET OUT OF HIS COT!!!!!!

WHAT DO WE DO??????

He's been happily playing about in his room, with his 'play-house'* and his garage for over an hour now. Even though he hasn't slept for his usual hour or two of he'll be OK 'coz he's had quiet time.

I'm really not ready for him to start escaping regularly! We rely on the cot as a containment mechanism, so he can't get out and play during the night and so that even if he spends some time playing with his baby and stuffed animals he'll usually have some sleep in his cot during the day. I was planning on waiting until he potty trained himself before we moved him into a 'big bed' (as he'll obviously need to escape his sleeping place to use the potty when he's not wearing a nappy). I'll let you know if it happens again, but for now, I had better go and get him, as he's starting to call out for me.


* the play-house is really a dolls house, a very male-toddler-appropriate one, that I got cheap on eBay. Sanjay didn't like the idea of his son playing with a dolls house so before I bid on it I sold the idea to him by telling him it was a play-house.

A guided tour through Asher's bookshelf

So, I promised a book review or two and I realise, as I read some other reviews, that I'm basically crap at reviewing. I guess that's why I did so poorly in English at school, because I really do like to read. I wonder why? I'm certainly critical enough. So instead of calling these 'reviews' lets call this post a 'book guide for babies.'

It's not an exhaustive list of Asher's books, but they are some of our current favourites (he's almost two). I've put them in alphabetical order, so don't feel like I'm playing favourites, and the book links are mostly to Amazon.com, although you should ideally purchase books from your local independent book retailer!

Janet and Allen Ahlberg - Each Peach Pear Plum
Divine illustrations and beautiful rhyme make this book great. It's possibly a little old for Asher because he doesn't 'get' most of the nursery-rhyme and fairy-tale allusions and he doesn't understand looking for the characters but he keeps asking us to read it, so he must like it.

Pamela Allen - Mr. McGee and the Biting Flea
We had 'Fancy That' by Pamela Allen as well, but that was so well-loved that it got ripped, because it is a paper rather than a board book, and we don't have a replacement yet. I believe that this is one of those books that is going to encourage literacy because of the repetition of the 'ow, oo, ee' sounds. It's fun enough to read and the illustrations of Mr. McGee struggling out of all of his clothes are priceless.

Sandra Boynton - Moo, Baa, La La La
This book is a surreal look at animal sounds. The rhythm and rhyme are great in Sandra's books and the drawings are cute and quirky enough to keep the adults entertained through many, many readings. We also have But Not the Hippopotamus which I think Asher likes but I find a bit ummm.... sad? Forgive the spoiler but the hippo gets left out of everything until the end of the book when she joins in with the others. It's reads more lonely than it sounds when I put it like that and I just don't like it as much. One of the advantages of both of these books is that they are really short - good for little kids with short attention spans, and good for kids who are meant to be in bed but need a story.

Rod Campbell - Dear Zoo
Another classic (and very sturdy or well designed for a lift-the-flap book - our copy has no injuries so far!). Asher loved this book from very early on. He liked, and still likes, turning the pages and lifting the flaps and making the appropriate animal noises. He still won't tell us what a camel sounds like though.

Eric Carle - The Very Hungry Caterpillar
This book is a classic, and it's famous for a reason, it truly appeals to young children and adults don't mind repeated readings. I personally am not much of a fan of the illustrations but Asher seems to love it (I prefer the delicacy and detail of Allison Lester, Janet and Allan Ahlberg and the Lynley Dodd books).

Lynley Dodd - Slinky Malinki
Although we have various others in the Hairy Maclary series this one is my personal favourite. I don't know if it's because we had it first or because of the sheer joy of the language but I really love reading this book aloud. The drama, the fun-to-read language and the beautiful, detailed illustration make for a really lovely book.

P.D. Eastman - Are you my Mother
I loved this book as a child and so recently purchased the board book for Asher. We haven't read it very much but already it's becoming a favourite. I think he's confused about the digger being called a Snort though! This fabulous review explains the book and some misgivings around it's content it much better than I can...

Mem Fox and Judy Horacek - Where is the Green Sheep
OK, make 'Slinky Malinky' my *joint* read-aloud favourite with Green Sheep - this book is unadulterated reading aloud pleasure, and would be top of my list for books for babies. It'll probably get included in most baby shower gifts I give from now on. This book really spells out what things are, so it's great for babies just as they are learning that words connect to things and to concepts ('near' 'far' 'moon' 'star') and it continues to be a great book for toddlers who are working out shapes, concepts and colours. (Check Judy Horacek's site for hilarious cartoons)

Charles Fuge and Angela McAllister - Found You, Little Wombat
This one is still a bit old for Asher, but he asks for it regularly. He doesn't understand the idea of 'hide-and-seek' which is the premise of the story, but the illustrations are engaging and it has good narrative tension. As long as it treads the line between trying to fit too much 'story' in while still being simple enough for the very young this will probably become a favourite for all of us.

Helen Nicoll and Jan Pienkowski - Meg and Mog
I suspect that this book is the one that will help Asher learn to read. I'm not a huge fan, mostly because of the ending, but I like how clear it is and how the words really relate to the text so perfectly. I guess that's what you get for having a strong collaboration between the author and the illustrator?

Michael Rosen and Helen Oxenbury - We're Going on a Bear Hunt
We go through phases of loving this one and times where he doesn't request it as much. I love the sequencing aspect of this book which is similar to Kiss, Kiss, but with better production values (better written, better illustration)

Dr. Seuss - One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish
At this stage Asher is still to young for this classic, but because it was a favourite of mine as a little kid we have it, and we occasionally have a go at reading it to Asher. As his attention span grows he may be able to last a bit longer before his attention wanders. The cut down versions of this book (Such as 'Wet Pet, Dry Pet, Your Pet, My Pet' which is a 'touch and feel' book we have that Asher LOVES) are a great bet for little kids.

Margaret Wild and Bridget Strevens-Marzo - Kiss, Kiss!
I think this was Asher's fist ever book. I didn't really like the illustrations at first but it's grown on me and now it's one of everyone's favourites. I think the turning point came when Asher was really very little and I walked into the room to see him looking through the book making kissing noises. A very sweet book.

I have always read to Asher - when he was very small it was because I didn't know what else to do with him (we would lie on the bed and I'd read the only two books we owned - Kiss Kiss and Slinky Malinky - over and over again. I would change the way I read them in silly ways (try reading like a Pirate! Or like a Gregorian Chant! Or a newsreader!) to keep me amused but I would just keep reading. As he got a bit older we would both read to him, pointing out things in the picture, and but the time he was maybe seven months he was helping turn pages. Now we read a few books after the bath and before bed every night, as well as sometimes during the day. So now, when I occasionally get bored of the books we have, irritated with being asked to read the same book over and over or irritated by the high price of kids books I go to Mem Fox's website for a pick-me-up dose of literature love. I would encourage everyone, whether you have kids or not, to explore it a bit and make a point of reading books you love to any kids in your life.

Now I'd love some book suggestions for Asher (or for me!). Were you read to as a kid? What books did you love? Why? Do you read to the kids in your life now? What are your favourites to read? What are the kids' favourites?

Shock! Horror!

I may not have completed* the promised book reveiws today, but I did take a huge step in ticking off something that has been on my 'to do' list for the last ...oh, eighteen years or so. I spoke with a driving instructor, someone recommended by a friend-of-a-friend about getting some lessons. Unfortunately the guy is in holiday and is going to call me mid next week but he's happy to teach me on a manual - he has an automatic though so it will be in our car - is that a bad idea? I do hope he has a wonderful and relaxing time in Coffs Harbour before he tries to teach me to drive.

*I've started writing, promise.

New Trick

Our friend B always asks about Asher's new tricks so i'm considering Asher's first four-word sentence a trick. He's said four-word sentances before but always direct parroting of something I've said. This time it was all his own. At the park yesterday he told my mum "Franni go do it" to ask her to play with him (I just tried explaining that he wanted her to talk into the ear sculpture on the other side of the hill from the mouth sculpture but it sounded really weird. I'll have to give details of our favourite local park another day).

Anyhow, he hasn't repeated his 'trick' yet but nevertheless I'm going to honour the occasion by reviewing his favourite books tomorrow. I want a record of what he likes and what I like and perhaps it'll help someone else in choosing books for their kid.

Not just the grumps!

I realised, while I was throwing up in the early hours of this morning, that yesterday's grouchiness was probably brought on by the tummy bug that I appeard to have. I certainly didn't consume nearly enough of that promised white wine! Last Friday Asher threw up most of the night and I was later to learn that his little mate M was sick that night too. I was selfishly glad (although, of course, very sorry for poor M and his mummy!) because I could be pretty sure it was just a tummy bug and not an accidental food poisening or something more sinister. So I've spent the entire day today shuffling between the bed, the couch and the toilet as Sanjay stayed home from work and hung out with Asher.

Asher is a bundle of boisterous toddler and when Sanjay says that "mummy's tummy hurts" Asher gives it a kiss and announces "better" just like I do with his many, many minor injuries. It's very cute for that moment, but then of course he wants to leap all over me, the couch, everything. I think his energy levels are soaring again which I guess is the beginning of what people like to call the 'terrible twos' - I was actually talking about this with some of the Crowie Mummies Posse the other day and we were laughing at how when the little people started to assert their will at around 1 we thought that was as tough as it was going to get. Now we are all getting the full-on melt-down tantrums (Asher usually keeps his for home at the moment unless he gets really cold or hungry - lucky me), some of us are getting hitting, the food refusal power trip and all the other things two year olds are famed for. I like to say that I don't negotiate with terrorists but it would be closer to the truth to say that I try to maintain consitancy in the face of all his toddler cunning. I try to take a mental step back and evaluate what is going on and whether Asher is looking for me to play with him or take him out for a change-of-scenery walk or whether he's trying to work out what is acceptable behaviour before I react. Sometimes, when he really presses my buttons, I give myself a time-out and hide for a minute or two in the kitchen (behind the baby gate) the laundry or outside - wherever I have stuff to do. When 'the experts' talk about time-outs they generally suggest not more than a minute for every year of the childs age and I just wish I could have *ahem* over half an hour to regain my equilibrium.

Hah! I should have eaten more than a couple of crackers today - if I had it's possible that this post would be a brief pity party over my illness rather than the extended mix it's become. Ah well at least it's something.

Too grouchy to blog

Yep, I can't write anything because I'm afraid my grumpy-ness will ooze out of the monitor and give you all a bad day. I'm assuming it's just PMS, the almost constant back pain and dealing with the grouchy toddler.

OK, I'm off to eat mussels that Sanjay cooked and drink copious quanitities of white wine - self-medicating with alcohol is so sensible and responsible isn't it?

Happy Mothers' Day to me

A beautiful new Cuprinox saute pan, Coffee and a muffin by myself and averting disaster to the main dish of our dinner party made for my best Mothers' Day ever.

Another day, another dollar...

...And, although it really is only a few dollars, I'm loving the work thing! I'm loving using my brain to sort out detailed and complex problems. I'm loving using my rusty MS Word skills to clean up this set of documents. I'm loving that the people around me appreciate what I do, and put their appreciation into words (that can't always be said for toddlers!). I'm loving working with my mum, because it makes it easy for me to do a good job. I'm also loving having a small amount of time away from Asher because it makes coming home to him in the evening so sweet. Last night it seemed as though he'd grown taller and begun to put more complex sentances together in the space of the day.

So, I think I can safely say that I want to keep working and I'll have to start thinking about what I'll do when this 10 week thing finishes. I have started looking into getting a childcare placement for Asher for two days a week because it seems like my mother-in-law might not be keen to look after him, and the rediculously small amount I'm paying Megan (half what I earn) isn't sustainable for her (even if she insists otherwise!).

It's interesting that most of the mummies I know with kids around Asher's age are putting them in daycare, even for half a day a week (if they can afford it!). It's as though these little people, who have so intensly needed their mums are becoming herd animals and prefer the company of their own kind. I'd really like to find a great centre, not too big and nice and close that has a Montessori-influenced, child focussed philosophy. I'd like them to have Wednesdays and Thursdays free and not charge us anything either, but that's probably starting to push my luck a bit.

Anyhow, because I'm so cheerful today let me share the joy with this pic of Asher and his best mate M sitting on his little couch after their bath in their matching PJs. They were drumming their feet on the ground and laughing their cute little heads off:

Picture Perfect

I know two posts in one day is unheard of here, but I keep meaning to post more pictures. It shouldn't be hard but for some reason it seems to be, so I'm breaking the picture drought with this one. This is my favourite photo of Asher in ages - we went to see "The Drum" which was one of the Sydney Opera House Babies Proms and afterwards we had a coffee and the kids (Audrey, Miles, Sophie and Asher) ran around having fun. Clearly the whole outing was a tremendous success and I'm looking forward to seeing Jazz with them in October!

The Work Thing

For me, things tend to go straight from being stalled to full speed ahead. That's what happened this time with the paid work thing. I had been telling everyone I wanted to do a day or two a week in paid employment but hadn't really been applying for jobs or even looking online for jobs really then Franni rang me up with a completely flexible solution. I'm working for the organization she works for, directly for her, doing one of my favourite things. They call it 'data entry' but what I'm doing is cleaning up a huge mess that Franni made with a bunch of documents, then I'll be interpreting her cryptic scribbles and writing documentation for her. They aren't paying me enough!

Leaving Asher for the day was far easier than I expected - he was with his 'aunty' Megan and her lovely little boy and she is always be my absolute number one choice to care for Asher when Sanj and I aren't about. They all know each other very well and I feel like Asher is in safe hands.

I must rush to take Asher out to playgroup now, but I can't describe how good it felt to go and get a coffee on my way to work yesterday without having to amuse anyone, and then to file onto the train with the other commuters and then go and sit downstairs where no prams or strollers go. I felt, for the first time in ages, like an adult, and like myself as I used to know myself.

This post is brought to you by Another Rainy Day

Before I had a child of my own I though people with kids were nuts when they complained about the extra laundry that kids generated. Back then, in my previous child-free existence, I did one or maybe two loads of washing a week, it was awkward doing separate loads for whites and colours because I just didn't have that much to do. The colours were OK because I wore lots of jeans and black things but inevitably I'd be scrounging around trying to find more white things to wash.

So, the big question, how much extra laundry do kids really generate? Their clothes aren't very big so even though they might go through more than one outfit every day it should really add much bulk? Should it? Unfortunately the answer is that even one small, relatively clean, kid will generate more loads of laundry than I ever thought possible. And the cloth nappies we used on him when he was little barely added anything (although we were only part-time in cloth). It's amazing. I think the core of the issue isn't washing their clothes though, it's washing everything that they throw up on (when they are tiny), smear food on (when they get a bit bigger) or wee/poo on (hoping this stops after potty training!). I now average one load of laundry a day and I keep thinking that it'll get easier after our current stage, but I suspect that it will get back to a manageable level when Asher leaves home. Can anyone out there give me some idea of what to expect?

That's enough blethering-on about washing clothes - it's time to take action, despite the rainy weather this week, and put another load in the washing machine and throw things in the dryer that have been sitting on line for a day. Ho hum - perhaps I'll post about my burgeoning eBay addiction next....

Family Meals

Before Asher came into our lives I would happily talk to anyone who would stand still long enough about the wonders of family meals. I firmly believed that families who ate together were more likely to communicate more and therefore be more functional and happy. I believed the dark hints I made about poor family communication being one of the causes so many societal ills. The only exception in my mind was the great Friday night in - key components of which are loved ones, a glass of wine, the couch and something funny on TV.

After all this talk Sanjay and I figured we should put our money where our mouth is and try and teach Asher good eating habits by modelling them ourselves. Although we almost always eat breakfast together we rarely eat other meals together at home. Lunch is a kind of snack-y nibble on sandwiches, fruit and crackers between 10 and 12:30 and there is often an afternoon snack of some kind but then we feed Asher his dinner at 5:30 or 6pm and then the adults eat after Asher is in bed. So yesterday Sanjay and I planned to have dinner all together as a family. We chose to cook something we though he might eat and Sanjay arranged to be home by 5:45 so no one would be too tired or grouchy.

Unfortunately all my rose-tinted smugness crashed into the cold hard reality of eating with a toddler last night. Before we even got to the table I was just fed up with the whole thing. I was sore and tired and had no conversation for poor Sanjay. Asher had been cranky all day and wanted to bang his bowl on the table more than eat. In an effort to increase the togetherness quotient of the meal we were eating out of the same melamine bowls as Asher, and although they are rather nice and completely adult (white with a fun aqua stripe and a groovy pattern) it still felt a bit like a picnic. I'm not sure whether it was the fact that I ate my entire bowl of creamy, bacon-y pasta in about two minutes, or whether it was having to eat my sanctimonious pre-baby words, but I felt decidedly queasy by the time we had all finished.

I'm not sure where we go from here. I really enjoy the glass of wine and the quiet and calm of our meals after Asher's bedtime but I really do want to make a tradition of family meals. Do we just keep trying? What can we do to make it more pleasant for me? Do we really have to do it every week? Can I have two quick beers before we start so I'm tipsy enough to not care about the noise and the mess? I'm not sure alcohol-as-a-coping-strategy is really what I want to model for our impressionable youngster...