Recovery!

I went in to see Frannie today and she's great. It was only a few hours after her surgery, she was still in intensive care but she could talk, swallow and move her arms and legs. Which means she's avoided the main complications with the operation she was having. She was still puffy and woozy from the anaesthetic (and the PCA morphine!) but Jim was still managing to talk to her about real estate. Needless to say, we are all very relieved!

Good vibes for Frannie please

Tomorrow my mother has her neck surgery. There is a lot of anxiety in the family about the process at the moment, not really helped by Frannie's joking with us every meal about it being her last. Her friend Marg says that she doesn't really think she's going to die - if she did she would start smoking again. Marg is a non smoker who quit relatively recently, which would explain that obsession. Anyhow, it's really major sugery and I'm glad it will be at North Shore Private, which is only a walk away from me. It means I can look after Jim, Clare and Michael (well, feed them, anyhow) as well as get up to see her.

Perhaps Asher has picked up on the tension, or perhaps he's just out of sorts because he's had a long weekend up at Crowdy with lots of adult stimulation. Unsurprisingly Marg and Fran spent a lot of time playing with him but Michael also loved having him about and allowed far more hair-pulling and eye-gouging than I do.

Alternatively Asher may be slightly grizzly because he's getting teeth. He is rashy in a way that he hasn't been before (impetigo cleared up nicely with the antibiotics thanks, we've started him on yoghurt) and I assume that is because he's dribbling more and sticking a wider variety of whatever he can reach into his ever-open mouth.

He could, however, just be rashy because he comes into contact with more things now that he is mobile. He really is mobile. Whenever I needed to pee, empty the dishwasher or anything else that doesn't happen in the lounge room and is difficult to do while holding a baby I leave Asher, popping my head in every 10 - 40 seconds and yesterday his two favourite places seemed to be behind the television and under the computer desk - the only two places in the room with visible unsecured power point and cords. Why is that? Why are babies attracted to things that have the potential to kill them? On Sunday morning, just before we left to come home from Crowdy we put Asher to sleep and zippered him into his tent and went downstairs to have a cup of coffee. Maybe half an hour later (bearing in mind the baby normally sleep for 40-60 minutes) Sanjay went upstairs to find Asher had escaped from his zipped-up tent and left the bedroom (passing by several plugged in amps and guitars on floor stands) and was in the hall just outside the bathroom door. He apparently grinned like anything when he saw Sanjay - I think he had woken up, got bored, so came to find us!

Anyhow, I better post this and get on with my day while Asher is asleep, but any prayers or good thoughts that can be sent to Fran tomorrow morning will be much appreciated.

Longest month ever

It feels like Asher has been 6 months old forever sometimes. I started considering him six months old when he was 24 weeks (the 11th of December) because I wanted to start some solids (I was vaguely hoping it would help him sleep through. I don't really think it did, but whatever) but I didn't want to start solids before six months. Yes, I realise it's just ridiculous mental gymnastics, but sometimes sleep deprivation does that to you. On the 26 of December he was 6 calendar months old and now we have stopped counting his age in weeks rather than months, I don't consider him 7 months until the 26th of January. The fact that I have thought about this is testament to the strange things exhaustion and motherhood have done to my brain - in my previous life I wouldn't have cared a jot.

It doesn't take parenthood to be concerned about the spreading weepy blistery thing in Asher's right armpit that has been growing for a day or two. It arrived after the little rash that he had, the one that I put down to a combination of heat and a reaction to his 6 month vaccinations. It appears to be impetigo and so the poor little guy needs antibiotic ointment on it twice a day and systemic antibiotics every six hours for five days. I'm glad that we've just started him on yoghurt, and that he seems to like it.

I feel alternately practical and guilt-stricken. My rational mind knows that it's 'just one of those things' but another part of me is all self-flagellating and tormented about how I could let my baby get sick. I'm pretty sure Googling is a bad idea at the moment so once he's better I'll check, but I suspect that there is nothing I could have done to prevent it.

While I was wondering what was growing on him and inspecting his little body for sores yesterday, I saw a little red blister on his big toe. I quickly worked out that it wasn't whatever was in his armpit by looking at the other big toe. He has matching blisters because of the way he uses his toes to push off as he commando crawls around. He has been fast over short distances for a while now and he's starting to chase things that roll further and further. Sanjay is trying to teach him to crawl 'properly' by telling Asher to lift his bum up further. I have also caught him crawling around the lounge room showing the baby what Sanjay thinks he should be doing.

Anyhow, I'm going to go and clean the kitchen or read my book - I need to step away from the computer and from the temptation of Doctor Google.

I think I'm going to have a huge 2007

Asher started commando crawling in the last few days and now nothing at floor level is safe. I turned around from cooking (I was steaming some pumpkin to puree for him) this afternoonand found him just reaching for an empty wine bottle that was sitting with the recycling. I had been saying that he'd be crawling by the new year and now I'm freaking out about suddenlly having to get serious about baby proofing. After I headed him off from the recycling I realised he was heading for a plastic bag that was sitting on the floor.

He's still pretty slow for now but I know I don't have long - I better go and get powerpoint covers this weekend.

Baby's first Christmas

Well, Christmas and the trip to Crowdy Head is all done. It wasn't quite as fun as I had hoped - Asher is starting to get a bit clingy (obviously completely developmentally appropriate) and wasn't sleeping well in an unfamiliar environment so I was tired, he was tired and therefore neither of us were at our best. He is also just about to start crawling and is wildly frustrated that he can't go anywhere which made him rather short tempered. We did get to have lots of good food, a swim (despite the rather uninspiring weather), lots of nice wine. Watching the little guy opening his presents was also great.

Sanjay had to come back to Sydney for work but Asher and I stayed up at mum's for a few extra days. It was nice, and everyone helped out with the baby but since he wouldn't sleep in his tent when I put him in there I didn't get much sleep. The flight back was ok but it was at the end of the day so he required full-on entertainment to avoid a meltdown. This included a lot of saying 'gah!' to each other, bouncing (on my full bladder) and singing under my breath in his ear. Apart from the fact that a storm in Sydney meant our flight was a lot longer and bouncier than it should have been it was all good. It was nice to be home though.

And, just for Brendan a convenient list of Asher's New Tricks:
- Handling objects much better
- Eating pretty well off a spoon
- Almost crawling (inching backwards and bunny hopping forwards).
- Sitting fairly reliably
- Saying "Gah!" ('mum' and 'dad' still to come).

I have to go and think about my New Year's resolutions (keeping the blog updated?) and make cheese biscuits (we are having a few people over to Sanj's brother's place tonight to watch fireworks) and I hope everyone has a very happy and safe New Year!

Too busy, can't write....

So with Christmas and a baby I have been neglecting updating Asher's developmental milestones, as well as any more general musings. I've finally got the little guy to bed and Sanj is at dropping some things off to his parents place so instead of cleaning the kitchen and packing for our week away I'll give a cheat sheet abbreviated update.

Solid foods were going great, then they weren't, now they are going well again. I'm learning what he does when he wants a little break or needs a drink of water. He's learning that he likes sweet potato and rice cereal (and pureed pear, and blueberries and mango in the mesh thingy). Carrots aren't quite such a hit and he was pretty dubious of the oat cereal we tried this morning. On balance it's going well though.

He's sitting up pretty well by himself now. He will fall over and bang his head on the floor after a little while (if he's tired he falls quicker) but it's good. I was confident enough that I left him propped against the stair while I folded up his pram after an outing the other day which is the only reason I'm keen to hit that milestone.

He's also pretty mobile, but not really crawling yet. He is like a back-to-front caterpillar and creeps slowly backwards, he rolls both ways and turns 360 degrees on his tummy, getting a view of the whole room. I'm guessing he'll be crawling a bit within a month.

Once we get him to sleep he usually only wakes once, or more often twice, which is OK, but getting him down to a solid sleep is now really hard. Tonight I fed him to sleep at about 8 but he woke at 8:30 and it took us til 9 to get him to sleep again. He then woke at 10 and it only took me 10 minutes to get him back to sleep (I did use the magic b00bs though!). I'm hoping he'll stay asleep now.

His day sleeps are getting better. No matter what time he wakes in the morning (typically between 6:30 and 7:30) I attempt to put him back to sleep after he's been up for 2 hours. This usually works and he normally sleeps for an hour, but sometimes longer. Later in the day I try putting him back to sleep after he's been awake for three hours which works less often (and he usually sleeps for less time) but it's the gold standard that we are working towards.

He cries and grizzles so much less now too - today the only crying we had was when I was trying to pat him back to sleep after his 8:30 wake up. His funny little sense of humour and general good nature make him a joy to be with most of the time. A far cry from the early days when there would often be tears from both of us at the end of the day.

Alright, I'm exhausted, but I have to get the kitchen under control before poor tired Sanjay gets home. More soon I hope, but if I don't get to post tomorrow - Merry Christmas!

The horror. The horror....

So, I've just remembered the other reason I wanted to delay starting solids as long as possible - the nappy! I'm still shuddering with the hideousness of it all actually although I'm kinda surprised that last nights blueberries didn't colour his poo as much as I expected. Ugh.

We started solids on a bit of a whim on Tuesday, after a few weeks of worsening night wakings (I confirmed that I don't do well if I need to get up a 5 or 6 times a night). I gave him just a bit of rice ceral with half an apricot in the mesh feeder and it went ok. He didn't appear to love it or hate it but he didn't really spit any of it out. He doesn't really 'get' taking food off a spoon so a little bit dribbled out, but very little considering this is the first time he's done it. Wednesday we had a tiny bit more rive cereal with frozen pear in the mesh feeder and last night we had, yep, more rice cereal but this time with blueberries in the feeder. He seemed to really love the blueberries but I'm having difficulty getting the stains out of his bib. I'm also not sure whether they, like strawberries, are foods that shouldn't be offered til kids are over 1? I'm assuming that the main risk they present is the very serious choking hazard, which is negated by putting them in mesh and letting him gum the juice out of them.

Anyhow, the whole process is more fun than I expected, and very very messy (which I did expect) and gives us something to do in the late afternoon when we are normally getting a bit tired and cranky and really looking forward to Sanjay getting home. The pictures tell the story:





Just for the record, some of the other reasons I didn't want to start solids until after 6 months include me being lazy (arrgh! the extra hassle!) and not believing that Asher would need anything besides breastmilk until then. His sleep has markedly improved since we've started food - he has slept through for the last 2 nights after a period of *very* frequent night wakings but I'm not convinced that is because of the food as, to mym mind, it could just as easily be a developmental stage. He will be 6 lunar months (as opposed to calendar months) next Monday and 6 calendar months on the 26th of December.

KinderKot

No serious discussion about Feminism or the new Rudd/Gillard Labour leadership here, just a cute photo of the little guy all wrapped up in his baby tent. He loves the Kinderkot, and at only two-point-something kilos and a simple setup we love it too. I also like not having to bend down when I'm putting him in it like I would have to with a traditional port-a-cot/pack'n'play. Plus, it's really really cute! Sorry for sounding like I'm trying to advertise the thing.

Why is a blog like a house plant?

Both are likely to die from neglect when they are in my care. Thoughts on feminism and motherhood in my generation are difficult to formulate though and the baby learns new stuff so subtly that sometimes it seems as though he isn't changing or learning new 'tricks' at all.

He is changing though - we visited T and E's new baby on Tuesday when he was just a day old and despite being 1cm longer and 800g heavier than Asher was at birth he just seemed so tiny and delicate. I'm very proud of T for trying to breastfeed too, considering she was adamant about not even trying until she actually had the baby in her arms (which, I have to admit, seems weird to me. So many people try so hard to breastfeed and don't manage it, it's best for the baby, why not give it a go?).

He's growing bigger but he's also learning new stuff. The latest is the whole concept of peek-a-boo games, which I've been told is the start of learning object permanence. I've been trying to get him interested in peek-a-boo for a week or two and I think last night he started to get it. I was in the shower and Sanjay was holding Asher and we were closing the shower door and opening it and I would say 'A-Boo!' and the little guy would grin all over his little face. It was hilarious watching him suddenly 'find' me when the shower door opened and have it a huge surprise each time. So incredibly cute.

I was having a shower because I was getting ready to go to Clare's Formal (not that I don;t normally shower, but this time it was a shower-with-purpose), which meant leaving Asher with Sanjay for evening feed and bedtime for only the second time ever. It all went fine of course and Asher was asleep and Sanj was getting ready for bed when I got home at 10:30. The only small glitch was that Asher wouldn't drink any milk that had been expressed then frozen. Luckily I had expressed around 120ml during the day and Asher had that, but he refused anything that had been frozen then thawed. I remember reading about some kind of weird lipase issue that can affect frozen-then-thawed breastmilk and make it taste soapy which might be the issue. Unfortunately the only way to test if this is a problem is to taste test the pumped then frozen breastmilk and we are all out of EBM cubes here after Sanj's efforts trying to get Asher to eat last night. I guess I should express and freeze some for experimental purposes today, because we don't want to be in this situation again and you never know, I might actually want to go out again without the baby sometime in the next year!

Apple!

I got Asher one of the mesh feeder thingies the other day thinking that it might come in handy far in the future. I gave it a wash and threw it in the draw with the rarely-used bottles and pumping equipment. Late last week Asher was hot and bored so I put a small ice-cube in the mesh and gave it to him to play with. He seemed to like it, popping it in his mouth then making a face like I was trying to poison him as he spat it out and then working to get it in his mouth again. He ended up covered in water from the melted ice-cube but it distracted him in the late afternoon for more than half an hour.

Today, as we were having lunch he was getting whiny again, probably because we were intent on stuffing our faces and wanting to catch up with the weekend papers rather than spending all our attention amusing him, so this time I peeled a bit of apple and put a little bit in the mesh. He loved the apple more than the ice. He spent quite a while happily sucking away. This allowed Sanjay to get stuck into the sports pages and me to do more of the crossword than I've done in the last five months. Joy.

Anyhow, I didn't really mean for solids to start this way, and I guess he hasn't really started solids because the apple was almost untouched when I removed it from the mesh. Either way, it's OK because apple is pretty yummy and he's almost five months (21 weeks tomorrow, 5 calendar months next Sunday) which is close to the recommended 'six months' for introducing solids.

Back on the Wall

My dear friends Emma and Brendan have resumed their walk of the Great Wall of China, after long tedious months of frustrating rehab. Congratulations! Every step you take is one closer to your goal (more or less).

Asher's 20 week update

I promised an Asher update so here it is, but I'm pretty tired, so forgive my disjointedness.

Let me start with the stats. He was 20 weeks on Monday and I weighed and measured him. He weighed in at about 6.9kg and just under 66cm (putting on 4.25kg and growing almost 18cm in less that 5 months on nothing but breastmilk seems very impressive to me). He is also starting the whole teething thing I can see and feel a tiny white blister on his lower right gum. It doesn't seem to be bothering him much besides making him dribble an incredible amount and chomp on everything within reach.

The first thing people ask new parents about is sleep. I was always able to answer those questions quite smugly as Asher was only waking up once a night which is sustainable almost indefinitely for us. He would also go to sleep pretty much wherever we were so if we wanted to go out for dinner we would bathe him before we left, feed him when we arrived and he would sleep. Now, not so much. It started with him not wanting to sleep when we were out for dinner and then he got sick and we have all been getting even less sleep. Last night, now that he's pretty much better, he woke up four times, and was fed back to sleep three times. I'm hoping that this is a temporary thing and that the sleep thing sorts itself out without further dramas.

His day sleeps aren't really great either. Many days (like today) he has three sleep of only 20-25 minutes each which isn't enough for a little baby. I think it's at least partially a function of him being very alert and interested in the world around him and there's not much we can do about it.

Speaking of sleep, it's time for me to go to bed….

Fortnightly drama

I have a fortnightly arrangement with my girlfriends C and Z. We meet up on Monday, have coffee or lunch with our kids (C's elder son is in childcare on Mondays so we have three little ones with us). It's like a little support group or a mini mothers' group and it's good for all of us. Last fortnight I was a bit stunned because Jill had called me to tell me that she was leaving my dad and this fortnight my bad news was that my mother is going to have major surgery. More news that was not entirely unexpected, but still managed to throw me.

I've known for a while that she has been having dramas with her back and neck, and that she had seen a specialist who had ordered an MRI and had an appointment to go back and see the specialist to discuss the MRI results. In the morning, just after Asher had woken up from his morning sleep as I was planning my day around my lunch with C and Z Mum called me. She told me that she'd just been to see Dr F and that me that the news was not as good as she'd hoped.
The back-story is that my mother has a metal (Harrington) rod in her back, put in when she was around 30. She has early osteoporosis, fusing vertebrae and bone spurs growing into her spinal chord. The doctor had told her the it was likely that she would have a some physio and anti-inflammatories but the MRI showed that there is spinal chord compression and Dr F feels quite strongly that surgery is the only sensible option now. He even went as far as to say that a blow to the head or neck could relatively easily make her a para- or quadriplegic. She had a terrible time with her original surgery (fairly experimental surgery, a 3 year old, a 6 month old, no local friends or family, a bowel obstruction then month of living with a plaster on her torso) and was dreading the prospect of any further surgery.

Anyhow, mum called me because she couldn't get hold of Jim and she had this new and full-on information and she didn't have anything to 'do' with it. She told me she had to go and get a few more x-rays and a CT scan so I told her that I'd meet her at the hospital so I put the baby in the BabyBjorn (the pram was in the car, which Sanj had driven to work) and trooped through the 31 C degree day to the hospital. I made it there hot and bothered but it was good to be able to be there for mum. We joked around as she filled in a few scary details, she had her X-ray and CT scan and we had coffee and chatted. She always takes so much pleasure in Asher's company which always makes me happy. I then caught the bus up to Crows Nest and met with C and Z and their little ones. Later Sanjay, Asher and I went to dinner at the pizzeria for dinner with Mum, Clare, Tim and his girlfriend and mum processed by drinking almost as much as Tim. Apparently she felt terrible this morning but I think that is was a pretty reasonable reaction to such news.

Her surgery is scheduled for the end of January at North Shore Private. I'm pleased that it's within walking distance but freaking out a bit about the rest of it. Next post will be a happy one - I need to give an update on the little one's development!

Milestone: Baby's first cold

The baby got a cold. Now Sanj and I also have a cold. I feel like we are living in a plague house. The little guy is starting to get better (with hot steamy showers, regular application of saline nose drops and attack with the booger extractor) but I think Sanj and I are just starting to feel the worst of it. It would be a lot easier to recover if we were able to sleep for more than abuot two hours at a time. Anyhow, we are all off to the shops now to buy tissues and orange juice and other supplies. Wish us well.

Sleep is for the weak!

Asher's seems to have hit a sleep regression. He was in a lovely routine of going to sleep around 7:30 and waking only once or twice before 6:30am (with the occasional sleep-through) but now it's taking ages to get him to settle (11pm last night, 9 tonight) and he seems to half wake up, cry out, and if we get to him soon enough (and pick him up and bounce him) he doesn't wake up properly and he goes straight back to sleep. Anyhow I'm clinging to the fact it's a normal developmental stage. The wonderfully insightful and wise Moxie calls it the 4 month sleep regression and reassures readers that it will get better soon enough. Until it does, I might have to whinge a lot.

Baby development update

Yesterday I was on the bus with the baby in the Baby Bjorn, and Asher was crying inconsolably. I was standing up, humming to him and jiggling, despite being physically and emotionally exhausted, and he would settle for a few moments then start up again. The poor little guy was so tired and there was nothing else I could do to help him sleep when a very young man suggested that I turn the baby around to face inwards to stop his crying. I thanked him for his suggestion and muttered something about not being able to do that on the bus, knowing Asher's feelings about facing inwards when I'm wearing him. I realised then that the little guy has been crying and unsettled a lot for the last week and a bit. Last Tuesday his unsettledness was a one off, but he hasn't had a good day since then (except perhaps Monday).

So despite all this grizzling and unhappiness his development is coming along in leaps and bounds. His night-time sleep is really good. He generally only wakes up about once per night and he slept through the night for the first time ever on Monday night (from around 7:30 or 8pm to 6:30 or 7am). The other big change is that he can reliably roll from his back to his front, and he's doing it all the time. He's rolled from front to back quite a lot, but it always seemed kind of accidental, now we have to be super careful about leaving him anywhere because he can and will roll off. We tend to put him to bed down one end of his cot and wake up to him still asleep, often on his tummy and usually with his feet right down the other end of the cot.

I'm finding Asher's fussiness really difficult and it is making me doubt what I'm doing with him - is he hungry? Perhaps I should be supplementing with formula or starting to feed him solids? Is there any way I can help him sleep more during the day? I can't tell whether the grizzling is making me stressed and flat or whether I would be having a hard time anyhow? Is the baby picking up my unhappiness and upset because of it? At 18 weeks perhaps he's teething?

Asher and his noisy toy

Originally uploaded by karmakeda.

This toy is one of those things you have to see in person to understand the magnitude of the bizarreness (shit, that isn't a word!). It seems to be aimed at teaching little ones numbers, colours and styles of music. Yes, that's right, blue is for opera, orange is for rock, yellow is for babershop purple is for jazz and red is for reggae. An english voice says the colour then there is a few bars of someone singing the colour-word in the style of music. Very very weird, with a large dose of annoying-but-hilarious thrown in. The little fellow is still pretty unsure of it at this stage, but you never know, that may change.

Baby Karaoke!?

After the talk by the speech therapist on babies learning to talk at the ECHC last week I got all in a flap over the fact that I very rarely sing to Asher. I used all the excuses; my singing voice isn't great, I don't have time (!), I don't know the words or the tune to nursery rhymes blah blah blah. Anyhow, I remembered seeing that there were nursery rhyme lyics at the Raising Children Network website so I went there and I found better than just a song sheet, I found BABY KARAOKE. So for the past few days I've had little singalongs with Asher sitting on my knee at the computer and sneakily checking email between songs and we have both been really enjoying it. I think Incey Wincey is my favourite because I like doing the actions with Baa Baa Black Sheep running a close second. Unfortunately I can't seem to manage singing along with Twinkle Twinkle Little Star.

In other, unrelated news my stepmother has left my dad. We saw it coming, but it's still weird.

Jolly Jumper

I was wondering what I would do this afternoon, I didn't feel like walking after my epic walk/meltdown yesterday and I suddenly remembered that we were given a Jolly Jumper! I set it up on Asher's bedroom doorway and he LOVED it! I didn't leave him in it for long and it was hard to get a decent photo because he was bouncing up and down so much but I can see a future of occasional dinner making while he bounces in the kitchen doorway. He was really hot and sweaty and excited when I got him out. SO cute!

Crickey!

Asher was given (left?) a rather large dark brown teddy by his step great grandmother (my stepmother's mother) when she passed away recently and we put it in the corner of his cot, up near the mobile and his musical inchworm. He wriggles up that end of the cot during the night sometimes and seems to like playing with the few things that we leave there for him. We also pop him under his mobile when we are puttering about, when we don't put him on his playmat on the floor. Anyhow, we left him lying under his mobile as we were getting ready to go out the other day and when Sanjay went in to get him I heard a shocked exclamation and went in to see what was going on. It looked as though Asher was locked in mortal combat with the bear. He was kind of growling and wrestling with this fluffy toy that is almost as big as he is. We seperated them and took Asher to get him ready for our outing and then realised that his hands were covered in bear fur and we found ourselves wondering just how much fur he had ingested before we pulled the assailants apart. We later had to change his cot sheets because of the sheer quantity of bear-fur lying around. The bear has since been moved to the bookshelf.

Asher: 1
Teddy: 0