ch-ch-ch-changes

Well, he hasn't escaped from his cot again, but he did pile his blanket, baby and 'hound' up in the corner of the cot and get the picture off the wall, complete with hook, the other day. Thankfully it was a canvas so there was no broken frame/glass/toddler involved (and thankfully the canvas survived too!).

The 'twins' enjoying a milkshake after a run at the park. I got enough time to drink my coffee in a civilized manner!

He is growing up in other ways though. I have really been enjoying my day a week doing paid work and so we started putting our names on waiting lists at local childcare centres. In a perfect world I'd prefer to continue with our arrangement and have Megan look after Asher, but it isn't going to be practical for any of us now (which breaks my heart a little bit). Megan has made the decision to move back with her mum for a bit, for all sorts of difficult personal reasons, and although I'm going to miss her terribly I know she's only 25 minutes away, and if I use chocolate as bait she'll probably still come and visit me and bring some sanity on cranky-kid afternoons. I've learnt so much about dealing with toddlers and keeping me sane and them happy from her and I'm not sure that would have happened if she hadn't been only five minutes stroll away and happy to hang out with us. The boys will also miss our impromptu trips to the park and general hanging out but I'm quietly confident that we'll still see them a fair amount. On a really positive note her move has been the straw that broke the camels back on the driving front and I've had my first lesson and booked in for my second. One practise driving hour down, one-hundred-and-nineteen to go before I'm legally allowed to drive by myself.


Anyhow, this isn't a perfect world and not everybody's life revolves around Asher, so childcare it is. We got lucky and were offered a place at a local childcare centre* and, after having me visit, then Sanjay visit, we're taking the place. I wanted just to put him in on Wednesdays, while I work, but they only take kids for two-or-more days a week (because the kids settle in better), so Asher will be going along on Wednesday and Thursday. He will be starting on the 25th of June, the day before his second birthday and I will pick up an extra day at work so I will be doing paid work on both days. Between now and when he starts we get to go in there as much as we like for orientation. This morning we went at about 10:45 and left around midday - Asher got to have a play inside, eat lunch then play outside and we left as all the other kids were going to get on their little stretcher beds and go to sleep. After he got the hang of being there he did really well, following the other kids when it was time to go for lunch, sitting and eating at the table, putting his bowl and spoon in the right place when he had finished his meal, etc. I think the structure and routine of childcare will really suit Asher, and after the inevitable teething problems I think we'll it'll be OK. It still won't be the same care that we give him but I'm pretty sure we're not going to break him by putting him in good quality care two days a week, and I want to review the whole situation a month or two after he starts.





* I was about to name the childcare centre and include a link, but I figured I might want to keep it private. Perhaps I'll need to vent about them here at some later stage and I don't want to get sued for defamation!

Oh shit!

I put Asher into his cot for his daytime snooze about two an hours ago, with a song and a cuddle as I usually do. I could hear that he wasn't asleep, but I ate some lunch and then was cleaning the bathrooms (not playing around on Facebook or reading forums, really) when I heard sounds coming from what sounded like just behind Asher's door. I ve-r-y quietly opened the door a crack and saw him sitting, with his back almost against the door, playing with his toys.

HE CAN GET OUT OF HIS COT!!!!!!

WHAT DO WE DO??????

He's been happily playing about in his room, with his 'play-house'* and his garage for over an hour now. Even though he hasn't slept for his usual hour or two of he'll be OK 'coz he's had quiet time.

I'm really not ready for him to start escaping regularly! We rely on the cot as a containment mechanism, so he can't get out and play during the night and so that even if he spends some time playing with his baby and stuffed animals he'll usually have some sleep in his cot during the day. I was planning on waiting until he potty trained himself before we moved him into a 'big bed' (as he'll obviously need to escape his sleeping place to use the potty when he's not wearing a nappy). I'll let you know if it happens again, but for now, I had better go and get him, as he's starting to call out for me.


* the play-house is really a dolls house, a very male-toddler-appropriate one, that I got cheap on eBay. Sanjay didn't like the idea of his son playing with a dolls house so before I bid on it I sold the idea to him by telling him it was a play-house.

A guided tour through Asher's bookshelf

So, I promised a book review or two and I realise, as I read some other reviews, that I'm basically crap at reviewing. I guess that's why I did so poorly in English at school, because I really do like to read. I wonder why? I'm certainly critical enough. So instead of calling these 'reviews' lets call this post a 'book guide for babies.'

It's not an exhaustive list of Asher's books, but they are some of our current favourites (he's almost two). I've put them in alphabetical order, so don't feel like I'm playing favourites, and the book links are mostly to Amazon.com, although you should ideally purchase books from your local independent book retailer!

Janet and Allen Ahlberg - Each Peach Pear Plum
Divine illustrations and beautiful rhyme make this book great. It's possibly a little old for Asher because he doesn't 'get' most of the nursery-rhyme and fairy-tale allusions and he doesn't understand looking for the characters but he keeps asking us to read it, so he must like it.

Pamela Allen - Mr. McGee and the Biting Flea
We had 'Fancy That' by Pamela Allen as well, but that was so well-loved that it got ripped, because it is a paper rather than a board book, and we don't have a replacement yet. I believe that this is one of those books that is going to encourage literacy because of the repetition of the 'ow, oo, ee' sounds. It's fun enough to read and the illustrations of Mr. McGee struggling out of all of his clothes are priceless.

Sandra Boynton - Moo, Baa, La La La
This book is a surreal look at animal sounds. The rhythm and rhyme are great in Sandra's books and the drawings are cute and quirky enough to keep the adults entertained through many, many readings. We also have But Not the Hippopotamus which I think Asher likes but I find a bit ummm.... sad? Forgive the spoiler but the hippo gets left out of everything until the end of the book when she joins in with the others. It's reads more lonely than it sounds when I put it like that and I just don't like it as much. One of the advantages of both of these books is that they are really short - good for little kids with short attention spans, and good for kids who are meant to be in bed but need a story.

Rod Campbell - Dear Zoo
Another classic (and very sturdy or well designed for a lift-the-flap book - our copy has no injuries so far!). Asher loved this book from very early on. He liked, and still likes, turning the pages and lifting the flaps and making the appropriate animal noises. He still won't tell us what a camel sounds like though.

Eric Carle - The Very Hungry Caterpillar
This book is a classic, and it's famous for a reason, it truly appeals to young children and adults don't mind repeated readings. I personally am not much of a fan of the illustrations but Asher seems to love it (I prefer the delicacy and detail of Allison Lester, Janet and Allan Ahlberg and the Lynley Dodd books).

Lynley Dodd - Slinky Malinki
Although we have various others in the Hairy Maclary series this one is my personal favourite. I don't know if it's because we had it first or because of the sheer joy of the language but I really love reading this book aloud. The drama, the fun-to-read language and the beautiful, detailed illustration make for a really lovely book.

P.D. Eastman - Are you my Mother
I loved this book as a child and so recently purchased the board book for Asher. We haven't read it very much but already it's becoming a favourite. I think he's confused about the digger being called a Snort though! This fabulous review explains the book and some misgivings around it's content it much better than I can...

Mem Fox and Judy Horacek - Where is the Green Sheep
OK, make 'Slinky Malinky' my *joint* read-aloud favourite with Green Sheep - this book is unadulterated reading aloud pleasure, and would be top of my list for books for babies. It'll probably get included in most baby shower gifts I give from now on. This book really spells out what things are, so it's great for babies just as they are learning that words connect to things and to concepts ('near' 'far' 'moon' 'star') and it continues to be a great book for toddlers who are working out shapes, concepts and colours. (Check Judy Horacek's site for hilarious cartoons)

Charles Fuge and Angela McAllister - Found You, Little Wombat
This one is still a bit old for Asher, but he asks for it regularly. He doesn't understand the idea of 'hide-and-seek' which is the premise of the story, but the illustrations are engaging and it has good narrative tension. As long as it treads the line between trying to fit too much 'story' in while still being simple enough for the very young this will probably become a favourite for all of us.

Helen Nicoll and Jan Pienkowski - Meg and Mog
I suspect that this book is the one that will help Asher learn to read. I'm not a huge fan, mostly because of the ending, but I like how clear it is and how the words really relate to the text so perfectly. I guess that's what you get for having a strong collaboration between the author and the illustrator?

Michael Rosen and Helen Oxenbury - We're Going on a Bear Hunt
We go through phases of loving this one and times where he doesn't request it as much. I love the sequencing aspect of this book which is similar to Kiss, Kiss, but with better production values (better written, better illustration)

Dr. Seuss - One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish
At this stage Asher is still to young for this classic, but because it was a favourite of mine as a little kid we have it, and we occasionally have a go at reading it to Asher. As his attention span grows he may be able to last a bit longer before his attention wanders. The cut down versions of this book (Such as 'Wet Pet, Dry Pet, Your Pet, My Pet' which is a 'touch and feel' book we have that Asher LOVES) are a great bet for little kids.

Margaret Wild and Bridget Strevens-Marzo - Kiss, Kiss!
I think this was Asher's fist ever book. I didn't really like the illustrations at first but it's grown on me and now it's one of everyone's favourites. I think the turning point came when Asher was really very little and I walked into the room to see him looking through the book making kissing noises. A very sweet book.

I have always read to Asher - when he was very small it was because I didn't know what else to do with him (we would lie on the bed and I'd read the only two books we owned - Kiss Kiss and Slinky Malinky - over and over again. I would change the way I read them in silly ways (try reading like a Pirate! Or like a Gregorian Chant! Or a newsreader!) to keep me amused but I would just keep reading. As he got a bit older we would both read to him, pointing out things in the picture, and but the time he was maybe seven months he was helping turn pages. Now we read a few books after the bath and before bed every night, as well as sometimes during the day. So now, when I occasionally get bored of the books we have, irritated with being asked to read the same book over and over or irritated by the high price of kids books I go to Mem Fox's website for a pick-me-up dose of literature love. I would encourage everyone, whether you have kids or not, to explore it a bit and make a point of reading books you love to any kids in your life.

Now I'd love some book suggestions for Asher (or for me!). Were you read to as a kid? What books did you love? Why? Do you read to the kids in your life now? What are your favourites to read? What are the kids' favourites?

Shock! Horror!

I may not have completed* the promised book reveiws today, but I did take a huge step in ticking off something that has been on my 'to do' list for the last ...oh, eighteen years or so. I spoke with a driving instructor, someone recommended by a friend-of-a-friend about getting some lessons. Unfortunately the guy is in holiday and is going to call me mid next week but he's happy to teach me on a manual - he has an automatic though so it will be in our car - is that a bad idea? I do hope he has a wonderful and relaxing time in Coffs Harbour before he tries to teach me to drive.

*I've started writing, promise.

New Trick

Our friend B always asks about Asher's new tricks so i'm considering Asher's first four-word sentence a trick. He's said four-word sentances before but always direct parroting of something I've said. This time it was all his own. At the park yesterday he told my mum "Franni go do it" to ask her to play with him (I just tried explaining that he wanted her to talk into the ear sculpture on the other side of the hill from the mouth sculpture but it sounded really weird. I'll have to give details of our favourite local park another day).

Anyhow, he hasn't repeated his 'trick' yet but nevertheless I'm going to honour the occasion by reviewing his favourite books tomorrow. I want a record of what he likes and what I like and perhaps it'll help someone else in choosing books for their kid.

Not just the grumps!

I realised, while I was throwing up in the early hours of this morning, that yesterday's grouchiness was probably brought on by the tummy bug that I appeard to have. I certainly didn't consume nearly enough of that promised white wine! Last Friday Asher threw up most of the night and I was later to learn that his little mate M was sick that night too. I was selfishly glad (although, of course, very sorry for poor M and his mummy!) because I could be pretty sure it was just a tummy bug and not an accidental food poisening or something more sinister. So I've spent the entire day today shuffling between the bed, the couch and the toilet as Sanjay stayed home from work and hung out with Asher.

Asher is a bundle of boisterous toddler and when Sanjay says that "mummy's tummy hurts" Asher gives it a kiss and announces "better" just like I do with his many, many minor injuries. It's very cute for that moment, but then of course he wants to leap all over me, the couch, everything. I think his energy levels are soaring again which I guess is the beginning of what people like to call the 'terrible twos' - I was actually talking about this with some of the Crowie Mummies Posse the other day and we were laughing at how when the little people started to assert their will at around 1 we thought that was as tough as it was going to get. Now we are all getting the full-on melt-down tantrums (Asher usually keeps his for home at the moment unless he gets really cold or hungry - lucky me), some of us are getting hitting, the food refusal power trip and all the other things two year olds are famed for. I like to say that I don't negotiate with terrorists but it would be closer to the truth to say that I try to maintain consitancy in the face of all his toddler cunning. I try to take a mental step back and evaluate what is going on and whether Asher is looking for me to play with him or take him out for a change-of-scenery walk or whether he's trying to work out what is acceptable behaviour before I react. Sometimes, when he really presses my buttons, I give myself a time-out and hide for a minute or two in the kitchen (behind the baby gate) the laundry or outside - wherever I have stuff to do. When 'the experts' talk about time-outs they generally suggest not more than a minute for every year of the childs age and I just wish I could have *ahem* over half an hour to regain my equilibrium.

Hah! I should have eaten more than a couple of crackers today - if I had it's possible that this post would be a brief pity party over my illness rather than the extended mix it's become. Ah well at least it's something.

Too grouchy to blog

Yep, I can't write anything because I'm afraid my grumpy-ness will ooze out of the monitor and give you all a bad day. I'm assuming it's just PMS, the almost constant back pain and dealing with the grouchy toddler.

OK, I'm off to eat mussels that Sanjay cooked and drink copious quanitities of white wine - self-medicating with alcohol is so sensible and responsible isn't it?

Happy Mothers' Day to me

A beautiful new Cuprinox saute pan, Coffee and a muffin by myself and averting disaster to the main dish of our dinner party made for my best Mothers' Day ever.

Another day, another dollar...

...And, although it really is only a few dollars, I'm loving the work thing! I'm loving using my brain to sort out detailed and complex problems. I'm loving using my rusty MS Word skills to clean up this set of documents. I'm loving that the people around me appreciate what I do, and put their appreciation into words (that can't always be said for toddlers!). I'm loving working with my mum, because it makes it easy for me to do a good job. I'm also loving having a small amount of time away from Asher because it makes coming home to him in the evening so sweet. Last night it seemed as though he'd grown taller and begun to put more complex sentances together in the space of the day.

So, I think I can safely say that I want to keep working and I'll have to start thinking about what I'll do when this 10 week thing finishes. I have started looking into getting a childcare placement for Asher for two days a week because it seems like my mother-in-law might not be keen to look after him, and the rediculously small amount I'm paying Megan (half what I earn) isn't sustainable for her (even if she insists otherwise!).

It's interesting that most of the mummies I know with kids around Asher's age are putting them in daycare, even for half a day a week (if they can afford it!). It's as though these little people, who have so intensly needed their mums are becoming herd animals and prefer the company of their own kind. I'd really like to find a great centre, not too big and nice and close that has a Montessori-influenced, child focussed philosophy. I'd like them to have Wednesdays and Thursdays free and not charge us anything either, but that's probably starting to push my luck a bit.

Anyhow, because I'm so cheerful today let me share the joy with this pic of Asher and his best mate M sitting on his little couch after their bath in their matching PJs. They were drumming their feet on the ground and laughing their cute little heads off:

Picture Perfect

I know two posts in one day is unheard of here, but I keep meaning to post more pictures. It shouldn't be hard but for some reason it seems to be, so I'm breaking the picture drought with this one. This is my favourite photo of Asher in ages - we went to see "The Drum" which was one of the Sydney Opera House Babies Proms and afterwards we had a coffee and the kids (Audrey, Miles, Sophie and Asher) ran around having fun. Clearly the whole outing was a tremendous success and I'm looking forward to seeing Jazz with them in October!

The Work Thing

For me, things tend to go straight from being stalled to full speed ahead. That's what happened this time with the paid work thing. I had been telling everyone I wanted to do a day or two a week in paid employment but hadn't really been applying for jobs or even looking online for jobs really then Franni rang me up with a completely flexible solution. I'm working for the organization she works for, directly for her, doing one of my favourite things. They call it 'data entry' but what I'm doing is cleaning up a huge mess that Franni made with a bunch of documents, then I'll be interpreting her cryptic scribbles and writing documentation for her. They aren't paying me enough!

Leaving Asher for the day was far easier than I expected - he was with his 'aunty' Megan and her lovely little boy and she is always be my absolute number one choice to care for Asher when Sanj and I aren't about. They all know each other very well and I feel like Asher is in safe hands.

I must rush to take Asher out to playgroup now, but I can't describe how good it felt to go and get a coffee on my way to work yesterday without having to amuse anyone, and then to file onto the train with the other commuters and then go and sit downstairs where no prams or strollers go. I felt, for the first time in ages, like an adult, and like myself as I used to know myself.

This post is brought to you by Another Rainy Day

Before I had a child of my own I though people with kids were nuts when they complained about the extra laundry that kids generated. Back then, in my previous child-free existence, I did one or maybe two loads of washing a week, it was awkward doing separate loads for whites and colours because I just didn't have that much to do. The colours were OK because I wore lots of jeans and black things but inevitably I'd be scrounging around trying to find more white things to wash.

So, the big question, how much extra laundry do kids really generate? Their clothes aren't very big so even though they might go through more than one outfit every day it should really add much bulk? Should it? Unfortunately the answer is that even one small, relatively clean, kid will generate more loads of laundry than I ever thought possible. And the cloth nappies we used on him when he was little barely added anything (although we were only part-time in cloth). It's amazing. I think the core of the issue isn't washing their clothes though, it's washing everything that they throw up on (when they are tiny), smear food on (when they get a bit bigger) or wee/poo on (hoping this stops after potty training!). I now average one load of laundry a day and I keep thinking that it'll get easier after our current stage, but I suspect that it will get back to a manageable level when Asher leaves home. Can anyone out there give me some idea of what to expect?

That's enough blethering-on about washing clothes - it's time to take action, despite the rainy weather this week, and put another load in the washing machine and throw things in the dryer that have been sitting on line for a day. Ho hum - perhaps I'll post about my burgeoning eBay addiction next....

Family Meals

Before Asher came into our lives I would happily talk to anyone who would stand still long enough about the wonders of family meals. I firmly believed that families who ate together were more likely to communicate more and therefore be more functional and happy. I believed the dark hints I made about poor family communication being one of the causes so many societal ills. The only exception in my mind was the great Friday night in - key components of which are loved ones, a glass of wine, the couch and something funny on TV.

After all this talk Sanjay and I figured we should put our money where our mouth is and try and teach Asher good eating habits by modelling them ourselves. Although we almost always eat breakfast together we rarely eat other meals together at home. Lunch is a kind of snack-y nibble on sandwiches, fruit and crackers between 10 and 12:30 and there is often an afternoon snack of some kind but then we feed Asher his dinner at 5:30 or 6pm and then the adults eat after Asher is in bed. So yesterday Sanjay and I planned to have dinner all together as a family. We chose to cook something we though he might eat and Sanjay arranged to be home by 5:45 so no one would be too tired or grouchy.

Unfortunately all my rose-tinted smugness crashed into the cold hard reality of eating with a toddler last night. Before we even got to the table I was just fed up with the whole thing. I was sore and tired and had no conversation for poor Sanjay. Asher had been cranky all day and wanted to bang his bowl on the table more than eat. In an effort to increase the togetherness quotient of the meal we were eating out of the same melamine bowls as Asher, and although they are rather nice and completely adult (white with a fun aqua stripe and a groovy pattern) it still felt a bit like a picnic. I'm not sure whether it was the fact that I ate my entire bowl of creamy, bacon-y pasta in about two minutes, or whether it was having to eat my sanctimonious pre-baby words, but I felt decidedly queasy by the time we had all finished.

I'm not sure where we go from here. I really enjoy the glass of wine and the quiet and calm of our meals after Asher's bedtime but I really do want to make a tradition of family meals. Do we just keep trying? What can we do to make it more pleasant for me? Do we really have to do it every week? Can I have two quick beers before we start so I'm tipsy enough to not care about the noise and the mess? I'm not sure alcohol-as-a-coping-strategy is really what I want to model for our impressionable youngster...

Easter Update

Well, there's no doubt about it, 4 hour car trips, without much sleep really are beneficial when it comes to teaching toddlers to recite numbers. After singing Twinkle Twinkle, How Much is that Doggie in the Window, Baa Baa, Mary had a Little Lamb, I'm a Little Teapot, Open, Shut Them, If you're Happy and You Know It, etc we were really sick of singing and sick of listening to each other so we started with counting. Asher can now pretty reliably say the numbers, in order, from one to 5, in both English and Hindi. I was going to call it 'counting' but although I'm pretty sure he understands the concept of one-object-for-one-number he doesn't really have the hang of it yet. Which I guess isn't that surprising since we really only started with the idea last Saturday on the long drive north to my mum's place (and the kid is only 21 months).


The holiday itself was just fabulous. More and more Asher is happy to be entertained by his Aunties, Uncles and Grandparents, making it more and more of a holiday for Sanjay and I each time we go up there. It helps tremendously that the weather is still really warm so everyday we went to the beach to play in the sand and swim so the little dude gets tuckered out and is keen to get to sleep.


As well as spending a few days at Mum's we went to Port Macquarie where Sanjay's parents were holidaying with friends. I didn't have a great day part of that was an upset tummy which I will whinge about in another post if it continues but what really added to my grouchiness was having to hide in the hotel bathroom so as not to disrupt my child while he was going to sleep. Asher just giggled and shrieked and rolled around his travel cot while the other adults had lunch in a pub overlooking the water and I sat and read the crappy Sunday paper on the bathroom floor. I was grouchy and bitter for an hour or two but I managed to build a little bridge and get the hell over it soon enough.


Anyhow, I think this picture sums up the Easter break for me:




...and there's more where that came from on Flickr.

Earth Hour

I'm all for events that raise the public consciousness about environmental issues and I'm all for being more frugal with electricity generally, particularly with turning off brightly lit advertising, however there's something about Earth Hour that doesn't quite sit right with me. Earth Hour was apparently dreamt up with the idea that turning off the lights for one hour will deliver a powerful message about the need for action on global warming.

I think the questions on Lee's Blog (which I recently discovered) are very pertinent - are the power companies on board with this, understanding that there will be a dramatic decrease, then a surge, in demand? The Earth Hour FAQ says that coal fired (and gas and hydro) power stations respond to the power demand and therefore "it is very likely Earth Hour will cause a reduction in fossil energy power generation" which doesn't really sound that promising in terms of actually decreasing fossil fuel consumption to me.

What do people do while they have their lights off? Apart from spending some quality time together in their bedrooms (!) almost every activity needs some light. I don't think you are really in the spirit of the thing if you watch TV or surf on the 'net (no live blogging!) and since Asher will be asleep we can't take a stroll around the neighborhood. So what to do for light? Candles? The battery powered lantern that Eithne took camping that we now have? Ah, candles....

The Earth Hour FAQ gives all the usual safety warnings about candles and says:

If you plan on burning candles during Earth Hour, make sure you use 100% beeswax
candles which are gentler on our planet – smoke free, non-toxic and
non-allergenic. They are also made of natural products, not petroleum-based
materials, so they are effectively carbon neutral (the CO2 they emit has already
been taken from the atmosphere to produce the wax).

Now, apart from the fact that people should use whatever candles they already have at home so as not to increase candle production I tend to agree that they should use beeswax candles. However, I have a major problem with the idea that because they were produced with CO2 from the atmosphere and will release their CO2 back into the atmosphere, they are carbon neutral. Coal was once a plant material that got it's CO2 from the atmosphere so burning it is 'carbon neutral'? I don't think so. Light bulbs, particularly the modern long-life low-wattage bulbs are pretty efficient at creating light, much more efficient than candles. How much CO2 does an average candle emit when burnt? Letters to the SMH claim between 15g and 220g (although I suspect that the last estimate requires all the wax to be burnt, which it wouldn't be with a beeswax candle).

So, despite my cynicism, I will turn the lights off for Earth Hour, in fact I'll turn pretty much everything off. Just like last year, Sanjay and I will play Scrabble by candle-light and hope that as we all unplug we think of ways to keep things turned off for longer - read, talk, make music or play games instead of using computers and the TV and leave things turned off at the wall so they don't consume power while on standby, drive less, consume less, recycle their aluminium foil as well as their cans, lobby to have advertising signs turned off late at night, take our own bags and, as we do these things, I hope we feel productive and content.

Artwork Archive

Sanjay has been looking for more and more places around the house for us to put up Asher's growing body of artistic work. There really aren't that many paintings yet but I'm already forgetting which ones he did when and Sanjay can't bear to throw any of Asher's paintings away (yet). So on Friday I decided to put into practice a tip I read in a parent hacks post some time ago. We don't have a scanner to "digitize" his artwork, but I took photos of all the work I could lay my hands on. I'm planning on uploading the pictures too (particularly until we get around to doing back-ups of the photos on our hard-drive!). I think I might use my lesser-used Picasa rather than Flickr because I'm uploading for archiving/backup purposes rather than to show off to the overseas relatives!

As for the paintings themselves, I'll keep a current one that I like up and put the others away to use for wrapping gifts. I hope my family are all prepared to get their gift-vouchers or other little presents wrapped in giant toddler artwork!

In other news, Asher and I finally found one of the tiny caterpillars that was eating our basil:

He was fascinated, for a very short while, and we've had to read The Very Hungry Caterpillar quite a lot recently.

Daily Routine

Why do I want to blog when I'm pushing the buggy and heading off to the park? I think of things that Asher does that are funny or that I want to record for posterity, or stuff that's happening in the world that I really want to comment on. By the time I get home from wherever I've been I just want to get Asher to bed and eat some lunch and tidy up and I've forgotten whatever it was that I wanted to say. In lieu of a thought-out and thoughtful post I'm going to post about our daily routine.

7-7:30am - we wake up, Sanjay gets Asher his breakfast I eat breakfast, shower, get clothes for myself and Asher, make a Vegemite sandwich for Asher, put a load of washing on and Sanj gets ready for work.
8:30-9am - Sanj leaves for work and Asher and I usually head out to playgroup, the park or on Tuesdays, music class.
11:30-12 - Asher and I arrive home and at around 12 I put Asher in his cot for his sleep. Then I put out the washing, check email and make any necessary phone calls and eat my lunch. Before Asher wakes up I also try to get a bit tidied up, perhaps take the rubbish out, clean the kitchen or sweep. I also try and lie down for a few minutes while he's asleep.
2-3pm - Asher wakes up and we sometimes hang around home or go out for a walk. If he's grouchy I put him straight in the buggy and we head out. We either go up to the shops to pick up something for dinner or we head to the park or over to Megan's place. Sometimes we'll get a lift to the beach or have some other adventure with friends.
5-6pm - we usually get home and Asher eats, usually before 6:15. Sanjay gets home around this time too and between us we feed and play with Asher and start prepping our dinner and tidy up the devastation.
7pm - Sanjay bathes for Asher while I usually clean up after Asher's dinner. When he is in his PJs we have some books and songs and it's time for bed around 7:30.
8pm - Sanj and eat dinner and have a glass of wine. Often we sit in stunned silence and stare at the TV or we sit at the table outside. We clean up, maybe get something else done around the house or spend some time Internetting, watching TV or reading and then I am usually in bed around 11pm waiting for it all to start again in the morning.

So, not an interesting post, but perhaps useful in the future when I'm trying to remember what life was like when Asher was 20 months old.....

Art Jam Roundup

  Well, as I think you can see by the photos art day was a success! We didn't need the carpet cleaner that Sanjay insisted I find, there isn't paint all over our fence and I think everyone had fun. We don't own kiddie easels (or adult ones for that matter) so we moved all the pot plants into a corner and made our small back courtyard into a little arts and crafts area. We tied large pieces of cardboard to the brush-box fence, one for each child and pegged or clipped pieces of paper for them to paint on. Megan and I made finger-paint and Karen brought palettes; Sanjay made a 'table' from a milk crate (with a bag of potting mix for stability) and a piece of chipboard he found in the garbage room which Audrey seemed to enjoy painting. My wonderful mother brought a roll of paper from Reverse Garbage and each kid did two or three paintings.

Asher had a bit of a go at painting but found the texture of the paint on his hands quite difficult, so when the brushes were a bit painty he had to keep washing his hands. Then he was wandering around with wet hands saying 'wash' with a worried look on his face until I worked out that he actually wanted them dried as well. I'll hook up a towel next to the hand washing tub next time we do it.

Now that we have set it up and know how easy it is I'm going to be painting a bit more at home. I think getting Asher more comfortable with different textures would be really good for him, and I'd love a bit more of his art on our walls. A big shout out to Megan, Karen, Clare and Franni for helping out and making the day so much fun.

Inspiration afternoon

I don't really do anything traditionally crafty at home with Asher yet, but he's been pretty interested in paining and glue-ing and such at playgroup recently, so we decided to have an painting afternoon (or 'art jam' as a particularly hip friend calls such events) over here tomorrow. After buying some Tempera powder paint on Friday I have been busily looking for finger-paint recipes today and came across some really good kids crafty resources that I thought I might share. There are lot's of finger-paint and playdough recipes about (I've used the playdough recipe and it works a treat. Dissolve the salt first so you don't get a grainy texture) and there are lots of different lists of ideas out there, but good ones are not always that easy to find. One of my old favourites is the very lovely Kids Craft Weekly which sends ideas direct to my inbox and is geared toward little kids. the photos on the site are great and the ideas are often really simple and good - I recommend anyone who has little kids around subscribes for ideas. There is another site that I came across whose approach I really like. . It's called 'A Magical Childhood' and so far I've only been looking at the craft ideas (there is a link in the navbar that says 'poetry' which terrifies me so much I can't click on it yet) and as the author says, there are heaps of guides for projects that achieve cute results, but little kids would prefer to focus on the process rather than the result and they get bored easily. Her ideas seem to be geared toward what she calls 'laziness' and what I prefer to think of as letting your kid give his or her creativity free reign. She talks about lying in the bath and letting your kid use watercolour paint on pieces of paper you have taped up around the bathtub. It sounds awkward to me personally, but it sounds like fun for fans of the bathtub. You will see what I mean if you look at any of her craft ideas with the word 'lazy' in the title.

The other web resource I rediscovered was the Raising Children website which reminded me that despite my recent frustration with Asher's tantrums and general toddlerness I'm doing ok at managing it. It also reminded me of the reasons these little people have hissy fits and some of the more positive ways of dealing with the difficult behaviour.

I couldn't have found/rediscovered any of this stuff without Sanjay spending a LOT of time with Asher today (and all weekend actually!). I think it's really good for the whole family for them to spend big chunks of time one-on-one - it improves their relationship, Sanj has more of an idea of how I spend my days and I get a bit of mental space. Thanks Sanjay!

I'll try and blog about tomorrow's Art Jam, perhaps I'll even include pictures!

New photos

 
It used to be so easy to get photos of Asher, but at the moment he usually wants to play with the camera as soon as he sees it. That's why most photos I take of him at the moment are of him doing something - eating, playing with someone etc. Anyhow, it's not that I don't want to capture his extreme cuteness, just that it's a bit difficult to do it without a tantrum.

Speaking of tantrums, the other thing I do for tantrum avoidance is make sure he spends some time each day running around. I find that with a run around in the morning he sleeps better (we get 1.5 - 3 hours of nap time most days. He usually gets put in his cot awake, but sometimes he'll fall asleep in the buggy or the carseat and I'll transfer him. I'm going to DIE when he gives up his daytime sleep) and he is calmer in the afternoon. Usually we accomplish the run-around at the park, although with all the wet weather we've been having lately it's a bit more difficult. This morning we went up to St Thomas Rest Park playground (our usual hangout) and as Asher was climbing the steps on the play equipment he slipped on the wet metal and hit the ground. I didn't see it happen (embarrasingly I was just telling a friend that it was a bit wet for the park and she shouldn't bother coming along) but I saw him land on his side. It was pretty scary - he's fallen from adult chest or shoulder height - but fortunately he didn't hit anything on the way down and doesn't seem to be hurt at all. I was pretty freaked out, and after that and then having to brush a spider off him (it was in a curled leaf, but I HATE spiders) we left the park for the safety of a cafe and a large cup of coffee for me and a banana milkshake for him.

Oh the cuteness!

This morning, as I was washing up Asher put his 'baby' in the highchair and said "Dinner! Rice!" to it a few times. Then he took the dolly out of the highchair and took it's clothes off and said "Nappy" and proceeded to take it in and put it on his change table (and then he slammed his fingers in the drawer and called out 'STUCK! STUCK!' until I came and saved him - he's not THAT smart!).

Actually, there is so much cute stuff happening at the moment that almost every day I try to remind myself to blog the lovely things that come out of that kids mouth. Unfortunately by the time I get computer time I'm so frazzled by the intensity of the day that I'm not able to string a sentance together. Perhaps I should start blogging in dot points?

18 month check

Just so I don't forget, I wanted to note down the stats from Asher's 18 month check. He's 11.1kg and 81cms, which is roughly the 25th percentile for both weight and height. He's been on that percentile band since he was quite little (born below the 5th percentile for weight, but made it up pretty quickly). He's doing all the things he's meant to be doing - they say that kids of this age should have a few words and be able to point to at least one body part when you prompt them (Asher can identify more than 12 body parts and can say the word for at least 10. Very irritating early in the morning on the rare occasions he gets into bed with us and he lies next to me saying 'nose' or 'ear' and probing his tiny finger deep into the appropriate orifice). He is running and climbing like a little monkey, and his tantrums are getting more persistent by the week.

Baby love?

 

When Sanjay and I fist talked about having kids it was always in the plural. Neither of us liked the idea of having a one child family and I always thought two relatively close together would be good - either eighteen months apart or two and a bit years. Then, minutes after Asher was born the obstetrician told me 'that was easy' and asked if I was going to have another one soon. I looked at him in disbelief and said to the as-yet-unnamed baby Asher 'Baby, tell daddy you want an adopted sibling' and that was that for a while. When Asher was getting close to 9 months old Sanjay and I agreed that we didn't want two babies really close together and at that time we decided to wait until Asher was 18 months old and then revisit the question - probably starting to try for number two at that time.

Now Asher is 18 months and I'm more reluctant than ever to start trying for a second child. Asher is a good kid. and a comparatively easy toddler I suspect, but he's still a young toddler and all toddlers are hard going. I can't imagine my life with a baby and a toddler, and when I try to picture it it looks like the stuff of my worst nightmares. This is even more true because I've never learned to drive and I don't have a license. Newborn and reluctant toddler to the supermarket and then walking home with the groceries? I think not. Outing to the beach and then home on the bus with a tired fractious toddler and a newborn? No way! Even the most car dependant of my parent-friends say getting two kids organised and into the car is hard work and I reckon that without a car I'd be stuck at home a lot of the time, and my mental health suffers if I'm not out and about a fair bit.

So, despite Sanjay's enthusiasm and the fact Asher just ADORES babies I have used my power of veto and we aren't planning on expanding our family anytime soon. In lieu of am actual baby I got a doll for Asher, which he loves like the little brother he may never have. He's never shown any interest in having a particular toy in his cot, but now he insists on going to bed with his 'baby' (which I've dressed in an outfit that was to big for the newborn Asher) and he won't let any of the other little kids touch the doll. I'm thinking that a doll is the ideal quiet and indestructible baby replacement but Sanjay watches how Asher loves the doll and thinks how much cuter the pictures would be with a real live sibling.

I've taken the first step in learning to drive (I have my learner license and have shortlisted driving schools) and when I'm some way towards being a driver we'll revisit the whole question. Again.

18 month update

King of the Castle
Originally uploaded by surroundsound5000

I love this picture Michael took of Asher on Crowdy Beach! It was taken while we were up staying at Crowdy over Christmas, which is when Asher turned 18 months old. It's a convenient thing for my memory to have is birthday right in the middle of the year. It was from the 26th of December, his 18 month 'birthday' that we really noticed an amazing improvement in his language. From being a kid who knew a bunch of words - enough so that, if I concentrated for a day or two, I would have been able to count them - he became a kid who knew more words than I could easily count. It seems exponential and if he continues learning at this rate he'll know more words than me by the time he's Three. Luckily, I don't think that'll happen, but the change is really sudden.

The behavioural changes are a little more subtle. He throws more tantrums when he doesn't get what he wants, and the tantrums are more fierce. On the flip side he's a bit less clingy to Sanjay and I and is happier spending time with his grandparents and uncles and aunties. Sanjay's parents in particular seem to be getting so much joy out of the fact that he is now keen to play with them.

The eating thing is getting a bit easier for us too - we are getting more comfortable letting him choose not to eat - he still seems to sleep fine and he would eat if he was hungry. I realise that this is us getting our heads around it better, not really a change in him, but I've always known Asher's fussy eating is a problem for us rather than for him. Hopefully it will get even easier as the three of us work out exactly what is going to work for our little family.

Anyhow, happy new year to everyone, and I hope it brings peace and contentment.

The Generous Toddler

Over the last week or two Asher has developed the idea that it's good to share. This means that now he will smear his cheesy crackers over the face of any doll, stuffed animal or small plastic farm animal in his vicinity in an attempt to share his snack. Yesterday at a kid-friendly Christmas party we went to he tipped his cup of water over an unsuspecting baby-doll in an attempt to share and last week at the park when I offered him a sandwich he clearly wanted one for his little mate Miles as well. He had to chase Miles across the park but finally he handed over the sandwich and Miles, bless his 17 month old heart, clearly said 'ta' and they sat down in the grass together and ate the grotty little handfuls of sandwich. It's really, really cute but I also feel like it's a new developmental stage. To be honest I'm not really sure if he's starting to understand that other people have feelings or whether that kind of behaviour just gets him plenty of positive attention but either way it's incredibly endearing. I wonder if it's enough to make up for his panchant for grabbing handfuls of soil out of our pot plants and dumping it on the terrace so he can get the broom and attempt to sweep it up?

Surrealism for beginners?

"Galumph went the little green Frog"
Originally uploaded by karmakeda

Galumph went the little green frog one day.
Galumph went the little green frog.
Galumph went the little green frog one day
and his eyes went glumph glumph glumph
But we all know frogs go la di da di da
La di da di da la did da di da
We all know frogs go, la di da di da.
They don't go glumph glumph glumph.

ZAP explores the park one blade of grass at a time

Zara explores the grass
Originally uploaded by karmakeda

We had a lovely brekky with Bindy, Daniel and Zara this morning at a cafe in Coogee that specializes in crumpets (I'll go find a link just so you can revel in smutty joy of the names of the breakfast dishes). We haven't caught up for a while and it was great to see them - we have all been a bit busy with kids and recently the journey over to the eastern suburbs has seemed longer. Zara is growing into a delightful little person, very cheerful and sociable over breakfast and when we went for a walk to let Asher have a run around on she was pulling herself along on the grass and interested in all the little bits of nature (grass, sticks etc) she could grab. All in all a lovely morning. I don't think a photo would have done justice to Asher's little face as he stared intently at Zara and everything she was doing - he was just fascinated but this one of Zara is really cute and will have to do. Perhaps we can all try to channel Asher by staring at it with a very concentrated, serious expression?

The photo was taken with the new camera - I got the Canon PowerShot A 720 IS in the end and I'm happy with it so far. I still have to work out how to use the software that is bundled with it because at the moment I can download photos and nothing else. In fact, Imight have a play around with it now while Sanjay and Asher are at the supermarket.....

The worst part of parenting?

Nope, although the sleep deprivation was bad when Asher was still a baby it wasn't the worst bit for us. The lack of spontaneity in our lives now doesn't bother me at all and although we rarely go out to nice restaurants not having the money or opportunity isn't a real problem for us. Before Asher arrived I thought the gross bits of parenting would be just awful but I now just laugh when I realise I'm wiping snot off a little nose with my own clothing and even today's cheerful game of peek-a-boo around the toilet door whilst stuck on the loo with diarrhoea wasn't that bad. For me, the worst bits of parenting are the relentlessness and the not knowing whether you are doing the right thing.

The relentlessness is realising that this demanding 24x7 job is never going to end. Even when you aren't 'on duty' you are on call in case of emergency and even when your kids are adults you will still worry about them. I'm getting more and more used to this part, but it really hits home occasionally. Especially when people tell me they are going to be off work for a month, holidaying on an island for a week and then driving down the coast for a few weeks, stopping where and when they feel like it (er, have a great honeymoon Niki and Ryan!)

The not knowing is different. At this stage I'm not sure I'm ever going to come to grips with it. Apart from the physical evidence of Asher growing, learning and obviously thriving there are times, many of them, when I'm just so conflicted about what I should be doing. I remember my own parents always seeming to know exactly what was and wasn't allowed (and why), what the right thing to do in any circumstance was and also why (when that reason was 'because I said so' I still believed them). I now realise that a lot of it was bluff - it must have been!

The part of our lives that I'm most unsure about centres around food and eating. Sanjay, not normally one for stern pronouncements, stated that our child would not be a fussy eater. He started saying this well before I got pregnant with Asher and continued to proclaim it until about the time Asher started wanting to make his own choices around food, sometime before he was a year old. It turns out we have somewhat of a fussy eater, even considering the normally capricious nature of toddlers. Now, the unsure-ness plays into all this when I try to work out what I *should* be doing about it. Will he get scurvy if he has absolutely no fruit or vegetables besides sultanas for a month? Is the protein in cheese, yoghurt, Weetbix, butter and bread enough? Will he turn into a spoilt brat if I keep offering him things each dinnertime until he deigns to eat something? Will the impulse to give him a good shake be too strong if he screams like I'm forcing him to eat dishwasher powder when I put some in front of him for dinner that was a favourite yesterday? Should I let him go to bed with no dinner if he doesn't eat the first two or three things I put in front of him? Even if we gave in and decided he could live happily on nothing but Weetbix for breakfast, vegemite sandwiches for lunch and brie for dinner would he survive? Why is something that he can't get enough of one day imperiously rejected with no hope of him even tasting it the next? It's driving me crazy and I don't really know what to do about it.

At the moment he does eat Weetbix with milk and yoghurt for breakfast. He nibbles on vegemite sandwiches, sultanas and sometimes some crackers or a biscuit from about 10am until midday. He might have a cracker when he wakes up from his sleep but then from 3pm until dinnertime I don't let him have anything so he has some chance of being hungry for dinner (between 5pm and 6pm). For dinner, which is the problem meal, I usually offer him leftovers from our meal the night before or something from the freezer that he has liked in the past. Occasionally I am able to get a few kernels of sweetcorn into him and he'll often eat something involving rice (a month ago it was risotto, now that is considered poison and he'll eat dhal and rice). He generally won't eat finger food for dinner (er, unless it's toast) and anything green, such as a speck of parsley, will be either spat out if it's not rejected outright. We can't eat with him (we don't want to and it doesn't fit in with Sanjay getting home from work) and I do everything I can think of to make meals pleasant and stress free. I suspect that he'll continue to be healthy (perhaps he extracts nutrients from the air?) but the real problem is that it's driving me absolutely batshit crazy. I'm going to get my ever-patient and enthusiastic mother to feed Asher when we head up to Crowdy Head for Christmas. Until then I'll just try to rustle up some inner reserves of peace and zen-like calm in the face of the dinner-time tantrums - and getting a gin and tonic for me will have to be just part of getting Asher's meal ready.

Hatch, Match and Dispatch

When my grandmother was alive she used to love reading the births, deaths and marriages section of the newspaper. She used to read out loud any notices that really caught her eye and used to call the section of the paper 'hatch, match and dispatch' which I thought was hilarious when I was a little girl. Someone speaking so irreverently of Such Important Things! Imagine! Anyhow, today I'm doing my own little notices section here.

The Birth: The most recent baby to arrive in my circle of friends is the long-awaited Otto. He was born on the 14th of November after what sounds to have been a really tough labour. I really wish his parents were still in Sydney rather than in Dunoon so I could smell him, but his daddy's blog is as close as I can get at the moment.

The Marriage: Yesterday, we went to what we thought was going to be a housewarming for our dear friends Niki and Ryan but it turned out to be a surprise wedding! It was one of the loveliest weddings I've been to - relatively small and, since it was disguised as a housewarming, it was in the garden of the couples lovely house. They just looked so happy! (for photos click on the Flickr link in the sidebar).

The Death: Well, it isn't much of a death really, but here at Palais du Chhabra we're really happy about the end of the Howard government. It's looking like The Greens didn't do quite as well as I'd hoped (a landslide victory in both upper and lower house) but given the situation in Australia at the moment the result is pretty much as good as can be expected. We now get the joy of watching the Liberal party implode in the vacuum left by John Howard. Check out the Political Compass if you're still feeling the post-election glow and don't know what else to do with yourself for five minutes.

A photo at last

 
The irony of finding my camera but not being able to find the battery charger is almost too much. The camera had a tiny bit of juice so we took it when we tried Asher in the apartment block's pool and spa. He preferred the spa because it was warmer, but I think he liked all of it.

I think I've decided to upgrade from our very old Canon PowerShot S45 though, since it really is about to fall apart (the screws that hold it together are slowly dropping out, among other problems). I want a point-and-shoot rather than an dSLR and the Canon PowerShot A720 IS looks like it'll do what we want it to do pretty well, without being too expensive (we love our mortgage, we really do).

Three things:

I felt kind of ashamed of how bitter I felt earlier this week. We met up with one of the mothers from our original 'New Parents Group' Organised by the Early Childhood Health Centre. She has just had her second baby so she had one little girl who is 18 months old (in daycare when we met up) and one 10 day old baby girl. She was telling us how easy her second baby was, how the little girl just slept for three hours at a time and how easy it was for her to go to the gym because…. At that point there was the sound of our collective jaws dropping because not only was this woman out in public, wearing proper clothes and makeup, at ten days post-partum but, just like with her first baby, she had ALREADY BEEN BACK TO THE GYM (after a vaginal delivery). I think all of us felt a strange mixture of jealousy, bitterness and a strange smugness. I'm not sure where the smugness came from, perhaps we felt like she was missing some parenting rite of passage? Maybe it was like that wistful feeling you get when you feel that 'kids these days' have it so much easier with their mobile phones and internet and never having to walk to school in the snow, up hill, both ways…..


I also discovered something much nicer, yet possibly also more scary. Asher is a water baby! A few of us went to the beach on Friday afternoon and the kids were pottering about playing in the sand and we were sitting on our rug chatting and watching them. Asher and one of his best little mates started to head toward the water and as I was starting to get up to follow the other mum told me that her little boy always stopped at the very edge so I paused and watched as Asher, ignoring the other little guy who did stop kept walking into the warm calm water until a tiny wave and the uneven sand conspired to trip him and he landed on all fours. I was racing the few metres down the beach by this point to rescue my 'little darling' who was completely calm and desperate to get back in the water when I hauled him out (hey, I thought he was going to need me to comfort him). Anyhow, he spent the next hour naked just walking around in the shallows holding my hand, pointing to and exclaiming over the water, the sand, twigs and leaves, litter, our shadows, lumps and dips in the sand and our own toes, under water and half buried in sand. It was absolutely delightful and he sleep like a log afterwards, but his complete lack of fear means that I am going to have to be beyond hyper vigilant over summer when we are anywhere near water. I might try him out in our pool tomorrow (our block of apartments has a pool - photos later, when I have a camera).


In other news - our outdoor table was delivered today. Apart from our qualms about the likelihood of it being made of Indonesian rainforest, we really love it. It will easily seat eight, the chairs are pretty comfy and its raw teak and smells just wonderful. Thank goodness we can eat outside now (the old table was plastic, and it's legs were so dodgy it would wobble every time you tried to use cutlery. Happiness! (Except no photos because I still don't have a Camera. I want a point-and-shoot digital for less that AUD$700 which gives me really good image quality, minimal lag between pressing the shutter button and the picture being taken, the ability to use manual controls and a decent optical zoom - any ideas?)

Camera - still no pictures

Yay! I got my camera battery charger back! Boo! I can't find my camera in the midst of all the half unpacked boxes. I'm slightly nervous because I haven't seen it since we moved, but it must be around here somewhere. I'm going to look for it tonight because I want to take some pictures tomorrow - a few other mothers are coming around with their kids to watch the most overrated horse race of the year and I'd love to be able to take a snap or two.

BTW how long do I have to lose it for before I get to buy a new camera? What if I tell you it's on it's last legs - the sliding lens cover which turns the power on and off is really loose and feels like it's about to fall off and the camera is almost five years old....

We've Moved

Asher helps to pack
Originally uploaded by karmakeda

I've been waiting to post until I could include a pic or two of the new place but I left my camera battery charger at Sanjay's parents house on the day of the Mundan and my camera has no juice left, so I'll have to settle for a picture of the packing.

The move went as well as could be expected, considering we weren't really packed up properly. The movers came at 2pm on Friday and finished at 9pm and we did 8-10 car loads over the weekend. I had some wonderful friends looking after Asher on Friday afternoon and my mother was around for much of the afternoon ferrying people where they needed to be, keeping us fed and calm and helping out with Asher for the bedtime routine while Sanjay was back at the old place helping the removalists get the second load on the truck.

Asher was just amazing. I credit his general amazingness and also our repeated conversations about how 'mummy and daddy and Asher and all our things were all going together to the new house' but we also worked hard to keep the routine as normal as possible, just in a different location. Our little boy who has never slept at all well outside his own cot in his own room has had no sleep disturbance and he has not been any clingy-er or less cheerful than usual. Although the little guy doesn't say that much he certainly understands a lot!

I think perhaps I'm having the hardest time of any of us with the settling in. I have the shits that everything is everywhere, that I can't find things, that home smells so different, that the new dishwasher doesn't clean as well as the old one, that despite living almost on the ground floor I'm still struggling with the pram and the groceries when I get home, that I feel like I'm getting no help with getting unpacked and organised (Duh! Sanjay is at work during the day and can't help Keda!), that we've got so much to do to make the place ours and the list goes on. I realise that these are all pretty petty complaints but added together they seem almost overwhelming to me at the moment. I suspect I'm far more a creature of routine than I like to think I am. I'll update next week with how I'm feeling about it all once we've had a weekend together to get a bit more settled - I expect things will be a little more positive by then.

Not a baby anymore

On Sunday when he had his Mundan saṃskāra Asher officially left behind his baby self. The wonderful Rami (The same pundit who officiated our wedding. He has his own website if you want to know more) explained to us that this was the beginning of his spiritual life and the official end of babyhood. It was a lovely ceremony, Asher was amazingly calm and good (which I attribute to Pundit-ji's chanting) and afterwards we ate great food from Billu's catering and chatted while kids ran around and pestered their parents to be allowed in the pool. I think that as far as these big Indian parties go it was fun, and everyone seemed to be having a reasonably good time. There will be photos up on Flickr in a day or two.

The actual hair removal happened after the ceremony - Tim used Elia's clippers to give Asher a 'Number 1' but the lack of sleep, heat and scary buzzing was a bit to much for Asher by that point so the haircut's a bit patchy. I'm going to drop into my hairdresser this afternoon and see if we can't smooth it out a bit - we don't want the little guy looking like he has mange! He does look quite different now though - less like a little Martin child, like me at the same age, and more like a Chhabra. His head is larger than I thought it was and his jaw is somehow fuller. At first he felt a bit like a stranger and I think it's going to take me a few more days to get used to.







* * * * *

Tomorrow we get the keys to our new house. I would say that posting here is going to be patchy until we settle in but it's already so patchy that I can't see anyone even noticing. I'll let you know what I think of the new place once we've moved.

The kindness of strangers

Today is Blog Action Day and unfortunately I don't have the energy to get serious writing about an environmental issue. When I've got so much else on my mind (Asher's Mundan, parental birthdays, moving house, not to mention the election) I don't have anything left over for the bigger issues (but please, reduce, reuse and recycle while thinking globally and acting locally) so I want to take this chance to thank some people that I've been meaning to thank for ages now.

'Trail angels' are those who help people when they are walking a trail. This help is unexpected but greatly needed and I believe the consensus is that 'you know one when you meet one'. I heard the term first referring to the Papua New Guinean 'Fuzzy Wuzzy Angels' who helped Australian soldiers on the Kakoda Trail during WWII but I have since learned that long distance hikers often refer to unexpected helpers as trail angels (Google yields results). Since I've been travelling on public transport with Asher I've met my fair share of Public Transport Angels.

Today was a perfect example - on my way into the city to meet Bindy for coffee with a fairly grouchy and recalcitrant child a guy helped me lift the stroller onto the bus. It took him a few seconds and not so much physical effort but it saved me getting Asher out of the stroller and convincing him to stand and hold onto me while I packed up and then carried toddler, bag and stroller onto the bus. Help on and off the bus is great, and I don't think people realise how grateful I am when it happens but I've also had people entertain Asher when he and I are both tired and over it, a friendly but scary looking guy with tattoos help me carry the pram down flights of steps when the lifts were out of order at Central Station and on one notable occasion I've two very kind Islander women help me get Asher in the sling when he was very sick and I was debating getting off the bus as we passed Royal North Shore Hospital (they did fret about him being cold and tried to get me to put more clothes on him).

So next time you see someone struggling with a pram or hear a child complaining loudly on public transport instead of silently hoping that they will get out of your way and keep quiet please, if you can, offer your commiserations and ask the parent or carer what you can do to help - you may just make someone's day.

Blog Anniversary!

Well, the anniversary itself was actually a few days ago, and considering my tardiness generally with this blog, I think that five days late is perfectly acceptable as 'on-time'.

I was lying on the couch a few minutes ago (feeling terrible - I'm coming down with something that feels like the Black Death. I hope Asher doesn't get it from me), and wanting to get up and blog but only having an amorphous swirl of ideas of exactly what I wanted to write about, when I started wondering why I bothered writing here at all. Now, although that sounds like a terribly melodramatic and depressive thing to think it actually wasn't, because I recognise that I get something out of blogging but I'm really not sure what. Anyhow, I thought drag myself from the couch to the computer and check when the anniversary of the blog was so that I could craft an excellent 'what I've learned from blogging' type post, but since I'm already late I'll just cobble something together as usual, and probably go to sleep tonight thinking of ways it could have been a better post.

I guess the first and most wanky benefit of the whole blogging thing for me is that I'm slowly, slowly, finding a voice. Since high school some time I've believed I'm a poor writer and although that hasn't gone away I feel a little more confident about getting my ideas across. I wouldn't have been able to start writing if I didn't have Asher to write about - I didn't start this to muse and ponder, just to record the little guy's developmental milestones and perhaps my state of mind, in lieu of a baby book. A budding confidence in writing is a happy side effect.

Ironically, I also have told barely anyone about the blog. In a burst of enthusiasm I told a few 'internet friends' (and IRL friends who I see more of inside the computer than out these days) and Emma and Brendan, because they were away for an extended period of time and writing their own blog, so I thought I could keep in touch and still maintain my record as worst long-distance friend (which reminds me, I should 'fess up to the Irish Cousin about the blog!) but I haven't told my family or anyone else and I avoid mentioning it in front of people (er, not that there's much to mention!). So for all intents and purposes I have no readers, and I can't work out whether this helps me to feel more freedom when I write, or whether it is the overwhelming contributor to my extreme slackness in posting. Perhaps I should open up a bit now? Perhaps I'm concerned that my lackadaisical attitude to posting will irritate or disappoint? Why should I care?

On a completely different note I've also discovered that having a separate blog for dealing with food, wine and cooking is absolutely pointless, so any further discussion on such matters will be posted here. I'll also try and post Asher development updates more regularly - all about Asher's growing vocabulary coming soon!

Sanjay is in the kitchen. He's bathed Asher, read bedtime stories, and put him to bed and has just cooked me dinner - I'll sign off for now, with a small self-congratulatory grin. I'll eat my dinner, watch some TV and worry about how I'm going to look after Asher tomorrow if my headache, aching muscles and oversensitive skin turn into the flu they are threatening.

Bad to the bone!

Bad to the bone!
Originally uploaded by karmakeda

My child is just like a two foot high redneck travelling somewhere exotic. He complains about the food, he whinges at his tour guide and when I don't understand him he just says the same thing, but louder and louder until, in a burst of parental telepathy I work out what he wants or he dissolves into another tantrum.

At least he's cute. Really really cute.

In the interests of not letting this blog die of neglect...

...I'm just going to mention how much I hate school holidays! I always thought that school holidays only affected parents of school aged children (except for the decrease in traffic and lack of obnoxious high schoolers on public transport int he afternoons) but the affects seem to be much more far reaching than that. Most of the playgroups seem to shut down during school holidays, so the normal pattern of our week is interrupted. The zoo, the indoor playcentres and other fun places to take little kids are really busy and unpleasant because Asher and his little friends practically get trampled by the 'big kids' who are on holidays from their preschools and kindergartens.

We still go to the park or for a coffee in the early mornings (we often leave home at the same time as Sanjay to minimise the opportunity for tantrums) and we still meet up with the baby club gang on Thursdays but we miss our favourite Tuesday afternoon TAFE playgroup.

At least this holiday is only two weeks, and hopefully Clare will come and hang out with us a bit while she doesn't have classes. I wonder what other parents of toddlers think of school holidays? What are the favourite distractions for really little kids that don't involve extra crowds?

Long time no post!

Well, here we are again, with me wishing that I'd been posting updates regularly, because Asher is growing and changing so fast that I can hardly keep up with the things he can do today that he couldn't do yesterday. He's walking relatively confidently now and yesterday we went and purchased his first pair of 'big boy' shoes. What I mean by that is shoes that are actually designed for someone bipedal, that might protect from a sharp stick or a small piece of broken glass. This whole footwear issue is going to just get more and more expensive I suspect - we got sandals for him for half price and they were still $30 and not particularly fancy.

Enough about the shoes Keda!!! The huge leap we have had in the last few weeks is actually with language. It's interesting that the walking and the language are happening at the same time and I suspect it's one of those development things, and not co-incidental. When we are out and about now Asher will spot a bird, either flying or perched on something, point to it and say "bird!" and while his pronunciation is frankly hilarious he's very proud of being able to name something. He plane-spots too, but when he sees an aeroplane he just says "there!" (more like "dare" really) to let me know that he's seen something, but he knows it's not a bird. I wish I had the energy to teach him a few more signs at the moment because I think he'd be really receptive to them, and very happy about being able to communicate more clearly. I want to do a post concentrating on his language development soon, but I'm not too confident that I'll get around to it.

The other very major thing that's happened over the last week is that he's now completely weaned - no more breastfeeding. The last breastfeed was over a week ago and it's been really easy. He was only having one feed a day, just before his nap, and it seems that he doesn't need a milk feed to get in the right frame of mind for sleep. I put the wonderful Milk Bar pillow away in the cupboard so Asher didn't get have a reminder or an easy way to tell me he wanted a breastfeed and the whole process has been really easy. We've also completed the transition to one sleep per day and, surprisingly, Asher has decided that the car seat and his pram are now acceptable places to fall asleep - and he's OK to be transferred into bed! The child never fails to surprise me!

It's now 8:30pm and I haven't had dinner. I'm so hungry I can't think straight so I'll post this now and try to be better about posting more frequently in future!

My life's work

For my school's 50 year anniversary I was asked, along with everyone else who ever went to the school, to put together a little blurb about what we "do in the world" now and what we got from the school along with a picture from then and one from now. As I was writing I was overcome with the depressing feeling that what I'm doing looks insignificant and incredibly boring. Despite paying lip service to rights of women to choose whether they worked outside or inside the home, I remember feeling scathing about women who gave up work when they had their kids. I felt like they were taking the easy way and although the work of bringing up children was important it also rotted ones brain and made one insular and concerned only with ones immediate environment. I think I have internalised my anti-full-time-mother stance - as I was writing I kept wanting to defend and justify by talking up the work that I used to do before I became a mother. I wanted to let people know that I used to be well paid and well thought of in the work that I did. This is not the first time I've felt negatively judged or wanted to let people know that I wasn't always 'just a mum' but this is the first time that my internalised mum-a-phobia has been this clear to myself.

I'm not sure where I want to go with this, but I suspect it's time for me to re-read Alison Osbourne's book 'The Post-Baby Conversation' to try and sort through a few things. I wonder what else is on the reading list for the course on cutting oneself a bit of slack?

Toddlerdom development update

Asher is learning and growing every day, and it still amazes me. His walking, in the space of a week, has gone from a few tentative steps most days to suddenly wanting to walk everywhere. Almost whenever he wants to go somewhere no he takes off walking and then after 1 or 5 steps he either reaches his goal or falls to the floor and crawls. My friend K said her daughter A used to do the opposite - stand looking at her objective and calculating whether it would be easier and faster to walk or crawl.

His language development has also come along in the last two weeks. He understands quite a lot of what we say. He finds my nose when requested, can generally point to his ball or his truck (and in fact the other day at the park I wanted to pack up and started muttering "where's your green ball Asher" and he pointed it out to me). He has a sign for "more" which he uses whenever he's hungry (he thinks it means "Food! Now!") and requests various songs by using their actions. He's also just taken to using the imperial point and saying "dat!" and I try to name the things he points at for him. I think he's really thrilled about being able to communicate with us.

He's also obsessed by technology - particularly the phone (which he calls 'Gah!' - I thinks it's from me walking into the room saying "Gah! He's got my phone again"). He holds the phone up to his ear and makes a word that liberally interpreted could be understood as hello. He will also feel around on the table above his head to find the computer mouse and the other day he pushed his little chair over to the table to get at both my phone and the mouse. It was so cute I had to photograph it:


Now he's awake, so I have to turn the moniter off before Sanjay gets him out of bed (he's pretty much transitioned to one sleep per day) but despite how relentless his little demands are, I just love him!

Welcome toddlerdom

Well, the little dude has just started walking. He took his first few steps on Thursday afternoon and then walked several times on the weekend, including once in front of several people, so I know I'm not imagining it. It's very cute, and timely, at 13-and-a-half months although he still crawls faster than almost* any of the other babies can walk.

Apart from that news it's pretty quiet around here, but in that quiet-before-the-storm kind of way. We'll be moving late September which will be the biggest upheaval since Asher arrived in our lives and I'm not looking forward to it. We packed a few boxes of rarely-used kitchen stuff on the weekend just to test the waters and now I'm dreading it more than ever. But once it's all over it will be nice to have a bit more space. Has anyone got any tips for moving house with kids?


* Baby Miles is lovely, and walked at 7.5 months, so has been running quite confidently for quite a while now.