02/04/2007

Regrets, I've had a few.....

I am not a person who has many regrets. Sure, there were those Sambuca shots with work mates at the Dendy Bar (which is, sadly, now an electronics store) and various other times I've made a fool of myself but generally I plunge in and learn from the experience and I'm very rarely left wishing I had done something. But I've got a few regrets over the first week or so of Asher's life. I wish I'd been a little bit more clear about my hopes for the first few days with Sanjay and his parents - I spent a lot of time being shocked that they didn't understand what I wanted, but I wasn't comfortable asserting what I wanted. That led to tears (mine) and misunderstandings (theirs) and put a strain on our friendship that is still in the process of healing. I've learnt to be a bit more forthright but I think I have a long way to go there.

The other thing I really regret is not writing everything down. I wish I had started this blog back then so I could look over it now, just nine months later, and remember how I was feeling and what our days were like. I've already forgotten most of what happened in hospital. I remember feeding Asher and Sanjay changing nappies, but little else. I can't quite remember how much he slept at night, but I think I was waking up every 2-4 hours to feed him. I do remember watching a fair bit of the Soccer World Cup in those first weeks.

I was reminded of all this when I was talking to Bindy today. She and baby Zara are home now and I suggested she 'write it all down' because even though you think it's etched on your brain you forget those early days so quickly. So, I'm going to note down our daily routine sometime this week, but not right now, as I can hear that Asher has just woken up from his morning sleep.....

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